


A September of ConVin

by Lupo (LupoLight)



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Chapter Tags:, Child Abuse, Convin September (Detroit: Become Human), Fluff, Injury, Little Bit of Everything, Multi, Scars, Several AUs, Smut, Tag As I Go, Talking About the Past, Zen Garden (Detroit: Become Human), chassis, switching POVs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:01:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 56,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26234590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LupoLight/pseuds/Lupo
Summary: Here's my ConVin September master-fic! Let me know if you guys want to see any of these AUs continued in the future! Each chapter be named with the rating and will have Trigger Warning tags in the AN, as well as if it's AU or continuation from another chapter! Trying not to over clutter the main tags on the fic.Thank you so much to everyone encouraging me to get through this, and hope you enjoy!Big shout to Sab (SeeWithMyOwnEyes) for being my beta for this!
Relationships: Connor/Gavin Reed
Comments: 109
Kudos: 104





	1. (T)There was a garden

**Author's Note:**

> No AU on the first one! Doa's here! There is some heavy injury, but it's not overly graphic!

After using the exit program, Connor did not expect for there to _be_ a garden to go back to. He remembered the frozen hellscape, the lack of life, the one gravestone. He remembered it all. Though he hadn’t gone into stasis for nearly two weeks after.

There was so much to do after all. Protecting Jericho, meeting with Hank, meeting with Fowler, making sure Hank still had his job after punching Perkins. And of course, checking up on a certain detective.

Admittedly, he felt horrible for what he did to Detective Reed. Looking back, he knew what he was up to was- sketchy, in the most favorable way of phrasing it. He, a non-deviant, defying direct orders to return to Cyberlife when the case was closed, heading to the evidence locker.

The detective was just doing his job. And yet, he remembered how it felt to take him down, the feelings muted through the walls of his undeviated code, but still there. He let the continued hostility out in an act of superiority that was unneeded.

His reception was not a warm one, or hateful. But fearful. It stung, burned, but he supposed it was only fair. He gave the other room and continued.

The first time he went into stasis then, he was surprised. It was vibrant and alive, but not the same. The bridges and ponds were there, as was the canoe and the graveyard. But gone were the perfectly maintained flowers, instead replaced by wild and free patches of new ones. No more roses, just vanilla flowers and wisteria. No more garden beds, but natural splotches.

It was beautiful and calm in a whole new way, little waterfalls now when he explored the edges of his garden, and even butterflies that floated about. What he loved the most was the dandelions- a weed to most, but to him, a soft golden flower in what used to be a perfectly manicured lawn.

He woke up that morning feeling refreshed.

It took a month for Connor to be in the same room as the detective. Not for the lack of trying, but because the other could be deceptively evasive when he wanted to be. Connor just wanted to _apologize_ , but the man avoided him at every twist and turn. Their meeting was a simple one, Connor getting Hank a coffee as they started the day, and in turn himself a cold bottle of thirium.

He looked over to see Gavin there, alone, nursing a cup of coffee as he watched the morning news. A scan told him the other never went home, tiredness in every feature. He knew he should keep his mouth shut, but he _wanted_ to speak to him, to continue to try. “Good morning, Detective Reed?”

To his credit, the man barely jumped, just turning and letting out a muffled hey. Then he realized who it was and swallowed visibly, and Connor felt the familiar guilt gnaw low in his wires.

“Morning.” It was more than had been said to him since his last attempt to speak. Trying to tamper his reaction down, he simply smiled, truly excited for the development, and continued his day. If he delivered a coffee to a near-asleep Reed later, there was no fuss over it. Just a mumbled hum of acknowledgement and the slow drag of fingers over a screen.

After that, things progressed- smoothly. Mostly. He spoke to the detective in the mornings, feeling only a slight guilt that he knew the other’s defenses were down then. He offered him a coffee while he made Hank’s, and after the second attempt, Gavin took it.

He hadn’t expected a slushie bottle of thirium to show up later at his desk that day, and scanning for prints only revealed one possible pair.

As he settled into his new life of Jericho consultant, as well as ambassador for human-android relations, _and_ detective, his garden changed as well. One day he wished for some rain, and a nice table to sit at. He got a gazebo and a light drizzle started. Another day he found the place to be too lonely, so he focused on the animals that already existed. It took two stasis cycles, but soon there was a corgi running around, someone to walk and fetch and sleep.

Within three months, he had a flourishing, peaceful zen garden, and a positive workforce to be in. Him and Detective Reed barely talked outside of their morning chats, but the ‘morning coffee’ and the ‘afternoon slushie’ never stopped, neither addressing it.

Then there was a bad case. For Detective Reed. Connor saw him enter the precinct that Tuesday morning, fired up, ready to solve this case, and Connor offered his support if needed. For once, there was no fire in the refusal, just a confident ‘ _I got this tincan, help the old man. He sure needs it._ ’

He didn’t see him leave. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday morning the detective barely existed outside of a grunted greeting, pouring over files. Even with help offered, Connor couldn’t do anything with non-existent evidence. It was late Friday night, the lieutenant finishing up some paperwork, that Connor caught Gavin in the breakroom.

Fingers tangled in a painful grip on his hair, and the minute shaking no one else would see. The hiccuped rise and fall of his shoulders. He abandoned his quest for coffee and immediately reached out, hand placed between shoulder blades. “Let me help further- take me through everything, and then sleep.”

It was not a request- the eyes of the man who looked up were dead tired and bloodshot, either from rubbing or an alternative he didn’t think was possible. And it wasn’t refused. Gavin talked him through the case, each of the missing girls, the common threads, the lack of evidence.

Saturday evening, Hank’s help was brought in as well, and they finally had found their suspect. And the girls, all having seen better days but able to return home after a day of repairs. When Connor met Gavin, the man embraced him, hugging him tightly before pulling back and offering him a playful punch to the shoulder. “I owe you one.”

Connor smiled, knowing the other owed him nothing. He just wanted him to sleep. “Go to bed,” he paused, stealing the other’s voice. “ _Dipshit_.”

The reaction was _so_ worth it, as the other laughed loudly, smiling brightly to _him_ of all people. “I will I will. Night, Connor.” With a wave, the man was gone, whistling something that haunted his stasis as whispers in the wind.

Their dynamic improved greatly after that. Gavin’s ‘owed’ favor came in a couple days later, in the form of a 12-pack of thirium lollipops, each a different flavor. He didn’t want to know how Gavin managed that, but it was an amazing gift either way. They spoke regularly during Gavin’s lunch breaks, and Connor felt warmth being near the other.

Then Hank had to leave. There was a meeting requiring all the lieutenants or captains across the state- some kind of awards ceremony Connor figured, and Fowler didn’t want to go. So Hank did. ‘ _Only going to be two weeks! Enjoy the time alone!_ ’

‘ _Enjoy the time alone,_ ’ he thought bitterly on the third day, already missing the contact he had after work. Sure, he could go to Jericho, but that often was too much energy. And the Jericrew couldn’t just hang out with him whenever they felt like it lately either, incredibly busy fighting for their rights.

So he was alone, his only meaningful discussions being with _Gavin_ at work. Thankfully the man didn’t catch on, but part of him- wanted him to. Wanted Gavin to invite him over- see the cats he’s heard so much about, listen to music and try dancing with him.

Going into stasis didn’t provide him relief. He was _tired_ of being lonely, exiting it way too early as he hissed at the darkness. Petting Sumo helped a bit, but eventually, he just gave up. It was only around one in the morning, Gavin said he was normally up until three… He texted him, hoping that the man was still conscious.

[ _You awake?_ ]

[ _Yeah whats up tincan?_ ]

There was warmth again. Connor picked up quickly that only he got called tincan- the other’s were just ‘ _rookie_ ’ or ‘ _officer_ ’.

[ _I am bored and my stasis has left me frustrated. What’re you up to?_ ]

[ _Youre messaging /me/ while bored? Damn, lucky me! Im not doing much, just chilling with the cats and watching some videos. Try doing that maybe??_ ]

It was worth a shot at least. He sent a quick ‘ _thank you_ ’ and ‘ _good night Gavin_ ’ back, not getting a response. Then he tried watching videos on the tv. He ended up finding a very amusing series of some popular video game, watching throw a couple episodes of that before he entered stasis accidentally.

Again, it was quiet and calm. The corgi wasn’t in sight, and Connor blinked at that. Normally he could always hear him, but not today. He started to look around, concerned for the garden dog before he heard- _humming._ _Human humming._ Cautious, he crept forward, fearing the worse.

Amanda couldn’t be back. She just couldn’t. He’d run- he’d never enter stasis again, he’d-

“Damn, do you _always_ think so fucking loud?” There was no Amanda, but he was still speechless.

Wearing an orange button up that faded to sunset red at the bottom, and washed out jeans, was _Gavin fucking Reed._ He looked up when Connor approached, having been petting the corgi this whole time. “Don’t worry, before you start panicking, I’m not like the previous AI. Your system- eh, fuck, how do I explain this… Your system took the broken Lego pieces that was _that bitch_ and made me. Without you know, the Cybershit influence and all the fucking bullshit.”

“So- you’re a coalescence of my memories and a barely functioning AI program- to do what exactly?”

Gavin looked around, and then to the corgi. “Well, it sucks ass talking to dogs and fish. And Hank’s fucked off for a bit, so I guess talk the shit with someone- something? Quit thinking so loud fuck- that can somewhat respond back. I’m an adaptive AI based off your memories, can’t do much but talk shit.”

“Not that you don’t do enough of that in real life?”

“But you like it.” There was a grin then, and Connor felt warm.

“Alright- sure. Let’s give this a try.”

Garden Gavin- Gardvin? Gavden?- didn’t leave when Hank came back. He didn’t leave as he spoke to Gavin either. It was embarrassing initially, to speak to the man he’d molded an AI out of, but he got used to it, happily managing to talk to both as separate entities after a point.

But then Gavin made a move he didn’t expect in a million years, and asked him out. On a date. “A- date date? Not just- hey I have extra tickets- or- hey me and my friends-”

“ _Fuck_ , no, none of that. I know you can probably get into Jericho shit for free, but there’s a fair coming up to fundraise for a new project, and I was just wondering- if you’d like to go? I got two of the advanced tickets, so we can see the singer guest if you want to.” Connor’s mouth felt dry, for some reason his system bugging out as he swallowed.

Gavin must’ve have taken his silence as a no, dropping his hand slowly. “Or not- just wanted to you know- _fuck_ \- admit I was wrong, for all the shit I done when you weren’t able to help it. I shouldn’t have been hostile to you- no matter the reasoning.”

“I’d love to!” The words were said a _bit_ loudly, a couple people looking over. Gavin’s own eyes were similar to a deer’s in headlights. But then he grinned, doubt gone, as he handed over the ticket.

“Cool, see you tonight? We can meet there?”

The date was amazing. They held hands, played games, rode a couple rides, and Gavin even fed him little bubble pop candies. He wasted no chance in teasing him while doing so, licking his fingers when it wasn’t necessary in the slightest. Still, at the end of the night, Gavin leaned up, kissing his cheek as he dropped him off at Hank’s. “Thank you for tonight Con.”

“Thank _you_ for tonight. I had a great time.”

Gavin then _finger-gunned_ at him, walking back to his car. “Well, it only gets better from here. Wanna work out a movie date tomorrow?”

“Of course. And I want to take you out once too.”

There was a soft ‘ _alright_ ’ before the car took off, and Connor entered stasis easily that night.

His AI adapted, as it was to do, finger-gunning at everything and even seeming more lively, louder if possible. And it continued to do so as they continued to date. The movies, an aquarium, even roller skating. Connor noticed Gavin avoided going to places that didn’t have something to actively _do_ , and he definitely enjoyed that. The man was active, and judging by the abs he saw through his semi-mesh shirt at their last date, in _very_ good shape.

Gardvin’s shirt changed to that one the next day, much to his embarrassment and amusement. The garden had changed over time too. What was just an empty island had a place to play music, allowing him to dance with Gardvin and the corgi. And floating around were little light up lotus flowers, sometimes the daylight changing to night.

It was relaxing, as stasis should be. It was perfect, and occasionally, he’d ramble to Hank about nights spent in stasis. The man always called him a ‘lucid dreamer’, and he supposed that wasn’t too far off.

It brought him to asking if others had something similar. Markus didn’t, saying he would often go over memories of speeches or Simon during his nights. Simon said something similar, though some nights he would revisit Jericho, walk through it in his memories. That was closer, but not quite. Josh was the same as Markus and Simon- walking through Jericho or his old teaching grounds, or going over what he had done that day. North definitely didn’t have anything like it, admitting that she just slipped into stasis and woke back up. _If_ she wanted to, she could dwell on a memory, but she preferred to not waste time.

It was neat to know the program was unique to himself. He wondered how he could push it, but then he was distracted.

A new case, all hands on deck. What they thought was a small anti-android hate group turned out to be a large murderous Red Ice production ring, and it took the combined efforts of Hank, Gavin, and several other officers to even narrow down these guys.

When they finally got to the warehouse, Gavin hitched a ride in a cruiser and Hank and Connor drove there, a weird feeling settled low in his gut. Like small weights had attached themselves to his wires, pulling everything down, heavy. He informed Hank of it, and got the confusing answer of ‘ _me too kid_ ’ that he had to ponder on later.

They entered in one way, Gavin, Tina, and Chris going in through another. Then they heard it, loud over the radio but louder against the metals walls. Several rounds of a rifle. Several rifles. Hank called for backup and Connor rushed forward, the lieutenant heading out to the car.

Through hallways, taking down anyone in his way, until he got to the source of the gunfire. From his vantage point, he could see Gavin returning fire in short rounds, Chris doing something to Tina’s arm. He swallowed hard, noticing the alarming amount of people.

A trap. Gavin and them had walked headfirst into a trap. Connor looked around, needing a distraction, before finding some old empty fuel barrels. Easily, he lifted and tossed them, taking out a couple before doing it again. If it reminded him of a game Gavin and him played after roller skating, he didn’t think of it for too long.

Instead, when enough were down and he was out of barrels, he ran over to the others. Immediately, he noticed the blood coming from Tina’s shoulder. “She was nicked,” he turned his head.

Admittedly, he always thought Gavin was attractive. However, he hated the fact his immediate [ _Image Saved_ ] popped up right then. The man was furious, eyes more dangerous than were ever directed at him, as he volleyed another round with a grunt. “We need to get her out. Connor, you got the best chance, can you run her out of here?”

He nodded, giving in to his wants, just once, and leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Of course. Don’t get hurt in the meantime, or I’ll have to bridal carry you.” The slight grin that broke his anger like a finger placed under a water stream was so, so worth it.

“Was that a threat or a promise? Get going- I won’t get hurt. I have another date planned yet.”

Picking Officer Chen up, he cradled her close, protecting her vital areas as he rushed out. It was easy enough to hand her off to Hank, who made sure to get her to the ambulance. “I’m going back in to assist Detective Reed and Officer Miller.”

“Yeah yeah- get them out of there! Backup’s out still, eight away.” A brief nod was his only answer as he went back in. He looked around, but not fast enough.

On his right, the same hallway he had run down, were two lone shooters. By the time his eyes moved there, they were in position to fire on Gavin and Chris.

Who hadn’t noticed them. Connor felt _fear_ , ice cold gripping his thirium pump, nipping at him like the stinging winds of a blizzard. He moved without thinking, putting himself between Gavin and the two gunmen.

And then everything went dark to the shout of his name.

The darkness was not followed by the sounds of a gentle flowing river and a barking corgi. Only pitch black greeted him, feeling weightless, floating. In front of him flashed in bold red Cyberlife Sans- [ **CRITICAL DAMAGE SUSTAINED: SEEK REPAIRS IMMEDIATELY** ]

But he couldn’t. He wasn’t awake. He wasn’t even sure he was alive. Where was he shot at? Who shouted? He couldn’t access _anything_ , and the weightless disconnect scared him. Was this it?

He didn’t want this to be it. He couldn’t feel _anything_ but he was sure he would be crying if he could be. All the times he felt deviant, he never felt this emotion, this desperate want to _live_.

Then suddenly, the message disappeared, spazzing out in a flash of red all around him, and when he tried to open his eyes, he found they did so. He was in a repair center, looking around to the other’s in the room. He swallowed, before letting his eyes close in relief as his hearing slowly filtered back.

“Connor Anderson?”

“Yes?” His voice didn’t break, but it was quiet. Afraid it wouldn’t be him when he spoke.

“Good, open your eyes please?”

Just to test out if he could, he shook his head. “Nope, don’t want to. Too bright.”

“Someone turn the brightness down a little bit… You’re still a deviant, don’t worry.” The voice was warm and he let out a shaky sigh, eyes opening to focus on the voice. It was a person, android, a model earlier to Simon’s. He wanted to run a self diagnostics.

“What’s the damage,” he asked instead, and they looked away, olive eyes on the floor.

“Well, nearly everything was recoverable. The bullet skimmed only a couple places on the back of your head. And we were able to save most of the coding and repair it. But- one entire module was completely destroyed, and due to the uniqueness of your model, we- aren’t sure which it was honestly.”

“But everything else intact?”

“Yes! There were no error codes once we had... a technician... from Cyberlife check over the work as well, but not even he is sure what was removed.” There was a lie there somewhere, that program still active amazingly enough. He’d have to turn some back off when he wasn’t working. “He knew it wasn’t any of your work capabilities, so you should be good to return to work.”

He was fine, that was such a _relief_. The first thing he checked was his messaging system, glad to see it there, with several ‘ _get well soons_ ’ from different people who had his number. Then he was interrupted, being let off the rig after a moment. “Alright, there is someone waiting outside to take you home. If you have any problems, come back in and we’ll give it another go.”

He offered them one more nod before noticing Hank waiting for him. After a brief hug, they went home, discussing everything that happened. He learned that he was out for five days, and that Gavin had worried himself into a forced day off from Fowler. Connor swallowed, but made a note to see him tomorrow. Tonight he needed to enter stasis and check over everything, see what was missing.

When they got home, Connor went about his usual. He cooked, Hank cleaned, he fed Sumo, Hank gave him water, and together they sat and watched the news and then some old show called ‘ _The Office_ ’. Connor loved this show honestly, sure his brain tended to wander, but the comedy in it was a breath of fresh air. Eventually, Hank retired for the night, gently ruffling Connor’s hair. “Don’t scare everyone like that again ya hear?”

“I won’t. Night Hank.”

“Night kid.”

It was only after making sure everything was locked up and cleaned did Connor head into the garage, converted into a bedroom just for him. He laid down on the bed, taking a deep breath in as the comfort of everything surrounded him. Within seconds, he fell into stasis, eager to see his garden and Gardvin.

Only for there to be- nothing. He was floating in the void again, in front of him with different options. Like his HUD was on, but instead of seeing the world around him, he saw nothing. He immediately forced a new option, trying to self-initialize the garden program himself.

Only for there to be nothing there. No traces of it, the AI’s built into it, nothing. Alternative routes were presented to him.

[ _Reconstruct the DPD_ ]

[ _Reconstruct Home_ ]

[ _Reconstruct New Jericho_ ]

[ _Play Memory Files_ ]

None of these were the garden. Panic filled him, and he abandoned his want to self-diagnostics, immediately exiting stasis and gripping his tanktop. Then his hair, feeling along where he was shot.

It was gone. His garden was gone, his AI corgi and Gardvin, his entire garden. Just. Gone. He felt an overwhelming sadness for the loss of somewhere so unique to him, and immediately made his way to Hank’s room. The other never stirred, Sumo lifting his head and then laying back down.

He done this a lot, immediately after the revolution. Sitting down cross legged beside Hank’s bed, just listening to the steady breathing. Sometimes he’d pet Sumo, and others he’d just watch out the window. Tonight was the latter, Hank only waking up when his alarm went off, and immediately on alert seeing Connor sitting there.

“Kid?”

“There- My garden… It’s gone.” There was a pregnant pause before he was hugged from behind.

“I’m sorry- I know you liked that place.”

It took him a while to get up and motivated after that. He had two days off despite being fit to return to work, and while he would’ve appreciated that, right now he just wanted to _do_. Not dwell on the missing part of him.

So he went elsewhere. He knew where Gavin lived, having been there after their third date to see his cats. But he hadn’t went there alone before. He felt nervous- what if the other was mad at him? He messaged once, the first day, just a ‘ _please get better soon_ ’, and it was obvious from his mood after he worried.

The thought wouldn’t leave him, and he found himself in the elevator when he thought of jumping out the window to escape this conversation. However, the elevator stopped after a few moments, and he walked forward despite the weird tingling of anxiety settling in his synthetic lungs, making him short of the breath he didn’t need.

Gently, he knocked, getting no response. Then again. He was about to give up when a sudden _yowling_ erupted from the other side, and he faintly caught the _thump_ of a body hitting wood. A sound that made the tingling ice cold and he braced to knock this door down. “Holy fuck shut _up,_ Doa! I’m awake you hellish being from the abyss!”

Connor couldn’t resist the snicker as he heard purring close to the door now. He knocked just a little louder, trying to grab his detective’s attention. “Oh shit- coming!” There was a shuffle before footsteps sounded near the door, and it opened. Standing there in boxers, with a blanket wrapped around his torso and _nothing_ else, was the man that instantly chased the anxiety and fear away. Only to replace it with something he was _not_ acknowledging right now.

“Connor?”

“Unless you know another RK800?” He smiled nervously, the pause filled with Gavin blinking, then rubbing at his eyes. After a few more moments, he tensed, and Connor prepared for the worst.

Not the best however, and was actually knocked back as Gavin dropped his blanket and leapt at him, pulling him into a hug and _babbling_. He could barely make out ‘ _you’re alive_ ’ and ‘ _thank fuck_ ’ among the rambles of half formed words. He held the other though, stabilizing himself and burying his face into brown locks. Gavin smelled- suspiciously like orange juice and something more acetone-y.

‘ _Screwdriver_ ,’ his brain helpfully supplied, and he held Gavin tighter.

Eventually they went inside, and Gavin threw on some pants before curling up against him, demanding to hear _everything_. Connor relented on the condition he told him why Fowler sent him home, to which Gavin agreed to.

Retelling it was just as painful when he got to the latest problem. “You see,” he started, taking a deep breath. “There was- a garden program. I had full control of it, to use as I placed in stasis. And there was an AI- a corgi, some fish… And even- even you. There was an AI of you, once I realized I wanted to be closer. I would talk to the AI to work out problems I encountered- both at work and in my social life.”

He waited for the judgement, but it never came. “That sounds pretty awesome- wish I could just throw myself into a garden every time I dream…” He was smiling, and Connor felt so much _relief_ in that moment.

“It was… When I got shot though, the bullet went through that module. And like that, all of it… Was just gone. Now there’s nothing but the option to go through memories or walk familiar buildings.” A hand rubbed over his own, and he sighed, the loss again hitting him hard.

“So- then let’s make enough memories so that you’ll always have good things to focus on.”

Connor blinked, looking to Gavin. “What?”

“You heard me. You can go through memories clear as day. Relive the best moments of your life. Go through cases and examine things. Go through previous conversations with people… You don’t have a probably ten times cuter version of me there, but you have me _here_. And Hank. And Chris and Tina. And we’ll always be here to talk to.”

It’s weird, to hear _Gavin_ of all people be so calm and sensible, but he nodded nonetheless. “I guess that’s true.”

“And if all else fails, you could always see if Youtube still works in your stasis.” He- hadn’t thought of that. It was an interesting idea. “You can’t dream, but your sleep doesn’t have to be boring either. Not if you don’t want it to be.”

Connor’s glad for that viewpoint on it, and he brought Gavin up for a brief kiss. “Thank you Gav. On the topic of making memories though- you smell like vodka and regret. Go get a shower and we’ll talk about how _you_ dealt with all this.” There’s a groan for that but he got up.

Then the softest voice he heard from Gavin yet spoke up. “You’ll- still be here, right?”

“For as long as you want me to be.”


	2. (M)The pretty and the ugly parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TRIGGER WARNINGS: Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Abusive Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse)
> 
> (It’s all in the past though)

Fingers traced along the edges of small indents on Gavin’s face, the one in his eyebrow and lip, the one along his cheek, the few down his neck and shoulders. “Let’s start with these.” He was lying in bed, nothing but sheets keeping him covered, and another warm body beside him. Looking over to warm brown eyes, that looked at him ever so seriously, he couldn’t exactly say _no_.

_They were just driving, not his first partner nor his last, but this one lasted a whole two months. Gavin remembered the fabric of the seatbelt snug against his chest as he rode around in the rental he had, his own car in the shop. A simple patrol looking for a suspect that fled the scene of his crime when they closed in._

_Gavin wasn’t driving, but sometimes, sometimes he wished he was. His partner was young, still an officer, looking to pair up with someone just as active as he was. A nice kid, someone who took Gavin’s shit and tried to fight him for it. Respectable. He didn’t deserve it, not at all, as a large rock was thrown through the window, smashing him in the chest. Gavin heard the crack of bones giving, and panicked. That wasn’t thrown by a human- not with that speed and strength. The car swerved, and suddenly the hood was wrapped around a pole as glass splintered from the windshield._

_He shielded his eyes, just barely, from the worst of it, and then heard the yelling. Groups of yelling, in Spanish. He could barely make the words out over the fuzziness in his own head from the seatbelt knocking the air out of him._

_He felt trapped, and he could swear it was getting closer, the yelling. He made out the words ‘_ take care of the problem’ _and it turned the blood not leaking out of him cold. Struggling, unable to unhook from the seatbelt, the damn thing jammed in the crash, he pulled out his switchblade and sawed himself out, before pressing the seat back and getting his legs free. Then there was the distinct_ pop pop _and he looked over._

_His partner, one hand on the seatbelt, trying to get out, shot in the chest. He got down, calling for backup, and then shuffling around for anything to help him. He found the small fire extinguisher from his old car that he moved over, and the dull thought of not getting the security deposit back on this one was shoved aside as he grabbed it. He had a couple seconds to shoot it out the broken window, hitting the hot metal and creating a cloud of steam._ “Oh shit- fucker’s gonna blow- run!”

_He would’ve laughed at the sentence he caught, but instead used the cover to get out, dragging himself to behind the car and checking his gun. He had ammo, but already could hear the sirens. He laid there, breathing heavily, knowing two people went in that car doing so. And only one would get out._

There was no pity as he finished going over that memory, no longer raw and painful but a reminder of his hatred for seatbelts. He still held the firm belief that if he didn’t cut himself out, or if his partner could’ve gotten out, there wouldn’t have been a funeral the next week for him to head to. “I’m glad you did get out.”

“I know you are baby.” He turned his head, kissing Connor’s forehead and rubbing over his LED. “My turn. Right here.” He placed his hand then over Connor’s thirium pump, and after a heavy sigh, the skin pulled away, showing perfect white. Connor’s hand then moved, tracing the three scars along his back. They were just above his tailbone, a crooked x and another line beside it, jagged and ugly. Gavin hated those almost as much as the one on his face.

_“Aren’t you going to do something about it?” He could feel red slip down his thighs and back, but he was too sore to move. He was eighteen, a month from nineteen, and it was a warm Saturday afternoon that his boyfriend of over a year had broke out the cane._

_“Why should I? I want it to scar dumbass, besides, you look so pretty in red.” The cane was tapped under his chin, but he slapped it away with a growl, refusing to acknowledge the sting under his eyes. They stopped the session early, again, Gavin having safeworded,_ again _, the pain too much and the pleasure non-existent. He wasn’t even sure Ryan was_ trying _to make it good for him. Not anymore._

_“Well I fucking don’t. If you’re not going to help me clean up, you can clean the mess up in here then.” He felt the stung inside his chest now, the non-committal shrug quickly followed with a groan._

_“Why, it’s your blood!”_

_“And you drew it! I didn’t want to bleed today you fuck! Damn why do I- fuck.” He turned away before he could say something he’d regret. Or actually enjoy, he wasn’t sure. His new academy friend already told him to get the fuck out of here, but finding his own place was terrifying._

_Besides, when the other tried, he could be really loving and that was nice. “Gavin, sweetcheeks, we both know you can handle it. But fine, I’ll clean up this time, not like I don’t have work or anything tomorrow.” Right, he was already an officer. Lucky him. He wasn’t doing a criminal law degree- he did his six months over a year ago and got in._

_“Thanks for doing the_ bare minimum _, babe.” He grumbled, though he did feel bad. He hated that he felt bad. He was the one limping to the bathroom to try and wipe down wounds so that the teachers wouldn’t notice!_ “Fuck.” _The word was hissed out as he cleaned to the best he could, but in the end, he couldn’t reach a couple gashes. He felt- pathetic. Stupid for being this weak, for wanting to ask for help._

_He was dropping, he realized idly, and he hated it. He hated this sub drop and the fact Ryan would get mad at having to deal with him like this. So he dressed the wounds as best he could and went out to the couch, curling up with his blanket and trying hard not to think of anything while his thoughts spiraled._

He felt the growl before he heard it, hands wrapping around him protectively now. “What was his _full_ name.” Gavin laughed, knowing Connor was protective but it was a fight over nearly twenty years ago.

“Doesn’t fucking matter. Tina basically blackmailed him into leaving the state, so he transferred somewhere on the East Coast and hasn’t dared talk to me since.” He turned fully, kissing up Connor’s neck where splotches of blue hickies graced his skin. “Made me stronger, and less stupid. I read up on what to actually do, tried being a dom for people even. Got some good tips at pride parades. Now I have my own drop kit in the bathroom and a less personal one in the car.”

“Shouldn’t have happened in the first place- when did you even start dating him? How did you meet him?”

Gavin ran his hands down the other’s arms. “I’ll tell you if you do here?” Connor let out a groan, but relented, pulling the synthskin away on his arms now. There were little spots where he had repairs, one in his shoulder being one Gavin heard many times. He still traced it gently. “I was sixteen, still in highschool, and he was eighteen, a senior at the time. We met through some mutual buddies and hit it off, and I moved in with him when shit happened at my home… Out of the pot and into the frying pan I guess.”

Again, a soft, protective rumble left Connor. “But I don’t care anymore, because all my choices led me here, laying in your arms, and I’ve even let you scar me up a bit too.”

“Yes, but _willingly,_ and with hours of aftercare and watching so the wound didn’t infect.” Connor’s hands traced an ‘ _RK_ ’ on Gavin’s hip, the scar still pink.

“The fact stands- if he had broken me, I never would’ve let you do that.” He got a whine, but it seemed Connor dropped the subject as he traced the knife scar opposite of the _RK_ , just raised up a little.

“Easy- suspect stabbed me and then ran off. Karma bit him in the ass because he ran into a moving car and broke the arm he stabbed me with.” Gavin actually laughed at that one, and ran his hands down Connor’s back. After a moment, he felt smooth chassis, and felt it _all_ over, loving the muscles built in. How easy he was to hold onto.

“You’re so beautiful,” he started, kissing across his chest. Fingers skimmed along his exposed thigh, pressing into two bullet holes there. “Another easy one babe, got that in a shootout between two gangs.” His hands smoothed down over Connor’s ass then, and the man laughed a bit before the synthskin pulled away. He would’ve laughed hard at Connor suddenly losing all the squish in his ass if he hadn’t seen the flash of yellow.

Instead he traced around lines he felt, pressing between his cheeks. “One day- want you to sit on my face like this.”

“Maybe.”

Gavin grinned, and then Connor’s LED turned red. As he opened his mouth to ask why, completely removing his hands, fingers tapped gently on his nose. _Oh. Right_. It was his turn to sigh deeply, closing his eyes. “I got that when I was sixteen,” he started.

_Honestly, he should have_ known _this was a terrible idea. He was sitting on the curb, a few houses down from his own, nursing a bruise on his shoulder while he spoke with the man beside him, watching trails of cigarette smoke float into the sky. Elijah was heading off to the island he just got, with his professor to start a damn_ company _already. But that meant a day of moving boxes around, and with his temperamental father butting in, things got- heated._

_But Gavin was proud of Elijah honestly, wishing him the best, and even playfully buying some stocks even though he had no idea what to do with them. Elijah promised his lawn mowing cash would explode someday, and he believed him. Even their mom- well, Elijah’s mom, but Gavin claimed her too- bought some. Gavin saw what he was working on, what he did already, and just told him to finish it already so they could celebrate._

_Elijah was a genius and Gavin was just- Gavin. And as Gavin tended to do, he fucked up. Sometimes by existing, sometimes by bringing home a B instead of an A- by not being graduated yet- by not being good enough. Today though, it was because he was talking with an officer._

_It was no secret Gavin wanted to grow up to be a hero. Not a soldier, because soldiers didn’t save, he said, they fought somewhere far away for something they didn’t start and they wouldn’t end. Not a firefighter, though he wouldn’t mind it- they saved places and livelihoods more than just lives, and while that was cool it wasn’t what he wanted. And he knew young, thanks to everyone else, he wasn’t smart enough to be a paramedic._

_No, he wanted to be a cop. Preserve the law, keep people from being shot, help families find peace- all that romanticized shit on tv. And of course, having to talk with one often didn’t hurt that dream either. The man was tall, bald, spoke of time overseas and time back home. He listened to Gavin, when no one else would. Even when Gavin came to him with a broken nose and a fear to go home, the man did what he could._

_Gavin wanted to be just like him- Lieutenant Fowler._

_They were talking about where Gavin would go to college at- Gavin wanted to get a criminal law degree. With theater and the money he still had saved up from dance competitions, and his okay grades, he reasoned it wouldn’t be too hard to get into a community college. They were talking scholarships when Gavin heard the familiar yell. “Gavin Reed, get your ass over here_ now _!” He was furious in voice, and Gavin grit his teeth._

_“I’m in the middle of a conversation,” he responded calmly, knowing to rise to his anger would be the worst choice here. “We’re talking about college opportunities- I’ve done my chores for the day.” He wondered if his voice could sound_ any _deader than it did right now._

_“Did I fucking stutter! You don’t need to be associating with no damn officers!”_

_Gavin wasn’t sure what his problem with authority was. As far as he knew, besides how he acted inside the home, he was a respectable manager at one of the bigger stores around here. He wanted so bad to ask the man what his damage was, but his elbow was being grabbed. “You have more chores to do anyways, and a test to study for. Your grades stay the way they are, you won’t need to worry about college!”_

_They were fine- mostly B’s and a couple A’s. He was fine, still his elbow was tugged, harder than it needed to be. So he tugged back, jerking himself free of the group. Words built and built in his throat, threatening to suffocate him, so loud in his head. “Then why don’t you do some of them! I have helped Eli pack, helped mom clean, helped swept and vacuumed, and I even ran to the store like mom asked you to do_ yesterday _! I’m going back to my conversation with the_ lieutenant _and when I am done, I will come back in and study. But only when I am fucking done, no damn sooner!”_

_The worst thing he inherited from his father was his temper. The man fumed, turning red in the face, and Gavin braced for somewhere to bloom in pain. Part of him wanted to start a fight right now, prove he wasn’t just vying for attention._

_The other part of him knew that a gay sixteen year old would never leave foster care and never get into college. So he braced, and the hit never came. Instead he was shoved, losing his footing against the curb. He tried his damnedest not to fall on his face, but the concrete was painful on his arms, and they gave, the bridge of his nose cracking along the pavement as he cried out against the slicing feeling._

_Over the dull thudding in his own ears, he heard yelling, someone cursing, tell someone else to leave. “You are being detained-”_

_“Detain this!” Had he imagined that? He looked up, and no, there was this absolute_ dumbass _, flipping the cop off and walking towards him. Fuck. He scrambled back, hissing as he tasted blood. His face was screaming with pain, but he needed distance. To run. He couldn’t fight- he couldn’t risk everything._

_He didn’t have to. Within three steps, the calm lieutenant’s patience finally snapped, and Gavin would never get over the image of a fist meeting a gut at that speed. Of his father crumpling and the sweet relief that he could stand. “Gavin, come here.” He nodded, though it hurt, and walked over to the lieutenant who sucked in a harsh breath. “That’s definitely an assault charge, and add the fact you’re still a minor- Mr. Kamski, you do realize what trouble you are in?”_

_“Fuck you bastard! I’ll have your badge for this!” For once, Gavin felt_ fear _. True genuine fear, standing between the two as he spoke, voice low and shaking._

_“You charge him- and I’ll come clean about the last four years you_ **prick _._** Have fun keeping your job in jail.” He didn’t care that he was blood- blood didn’t hurt you like this. He was his blood but not _his family._

_The silence was deafening, but Gavin stood his ground. “You’d go the system-”_

_“And you’d never lay a hand on anybody ever again. Justice always prevails.” He didn’t swallow, despite wanting to. Despite knowing this could be it for him- he wouldn’t drag down the actually decent father figure in his life. He couldn’t._

_His father groaned, walking away with a mumble, something about a bar. Immediately, his shoulders sagged, a large hand laying on one. “That was a brave thing you did. Come on, let’s go get your mother and get you patched up.”_

_Gavin grinned to him, bloodied and bruised, but proud._

“No wonder Captain Fowler is so protective of you.”

“He’s protective of _everyone_ there, but- yeah, I’ll admit I get away with a little more than others.” He snickered to that, but a hand rubbed his face, the skin glowing where it touched him. He hadn’t realized he teared up until a small kiss landed on his face. Right over the scar.

“You overcome everything, don’t you?”

“When faced with the alternative, what choice do I have?” Connor hummed to that, then Gavin cupped his face. “Now come on baby, lemme see those beautiful brown eyes in a sea of white. My caring, loving, golden-hearted boyfriend.”

Connor swallowed hard, but after a few seconds, the skin slowly shifted away, hair following the skin and disappearing, eyes closing and everything fading in a glow of blue. Then, there was just a head, and Gavin smiled, despite Connor’s nervous inhale. Brown eyes opened slowly, fearful but beautiful still.

“Look at you. So beautiful- imperfect, but amazing in every way.” He ran his hands over cheekbones, lips, ears, touching him down his neck and getting a soft sigh. They tried wireplay once, and he wouldn’t mind repeating, but he still had a goal. “One left.”

Connor’s eyes snapped open then, head tilting, and Gavin grinned at his obvious confusion. He took one of his hands down to the _RK_ on his hips, still grinning. “Gavin- I did that one to you. I know the story behind it.”

“You know what _you_ did. Not how much I love it.” He left the hand there, wrapping his arms around Connor’s neck now. “Not how often I lift my shirt to remember that moment. Not the drift into subspace, just trusting and loving you, nothing else. Not how often I think of the fact I’ll always have a part of you with me.” A pause, Gavin leaning in to kiss Connor. “Not how much that seeing it reminds me I’m not alone, that someone has my back, my heart- my everything.”

Connor whined at that, and they spent a few moments just kissing. When Gavin was breathless, he kissed downwards, eventually reaching his goal of the other’s dick. “Here now.”

Even without his skin, Gavin could see thirium heat up in his face, a slight blue tinge to the white, and he smirked. “Gavin- are you sure? I mean, it can’t be any different than a-”

“Finish that sentence and I swear I’ll get the candles out.” Connor’s lips audibly clicked shut, but after a moment he obeyed.

“Good, now sit there and be absolutely stunning and gorgeous. I’m about to make your night, angel.” “Gavin- it’s still before noon!”

“ _Exactly._ ”


	3. (G)My heart is cold

> _Looking back at me I see-_
> 
> _That I never really got it right._
> 
> _I never stopped to think of you._

Honestly, Gavin was so excited to ask Connor out. When he realized that the threat of the deviant hunter was gone, he was much less- hostile, admittedly. He wasn’t exactly friendly- there was too much bad blood, but after assisting with cases, and working together so often… They had some kind of relationship. Not quite _just_ a friendship, but not anything more either.

Gavin still picked on him, still took joy out of getting Connor to be emotional- whether in a good or bad way. And Connor enjoyed firing back, using his ‘golden boy’ status to get away with some of the most childish shit Gavin had ever bore witness to. So when prompted to do so by Tina and Chris, he asked Connor out to the movies.

And then there were several more dates, but their dynamic never changed. Part reluctance on Gavin’s end to fully trust, and part reluctance on Connor’s end to admit a wrong ever happened. They didn’t want to talk about the past, and Gavin was the experienced one here- he _should’ve_ pressed them to do so.

> _I'm always wrapped up in-_
> 
> _Things I cannot win._

Gavin would admit, that was his fault as much as it was Connor’s. What they had was good, and despite the stalemate, they enjoyed spending time after work together. Dates were often movies or something outdoors, active, that made Gavin feel young and Connor alive. But it was like having a friend, and Gavin wanted- he wanted more.

In the end, Gavin was the first one to break, pulling Connor aside after a long case and admitting he was wrong. That he could’ve done so many things to stop Connor besides attacking him, and that he wished he had reacted differently. He explained his fears, and respected that Connor needed time to think. He gave him distance.

> _You are the antidote that gets me by._
> 
> _Something strong- like a drug that gets me high._

They kept a professional distance for a week, and Gavin kept his comments to himself, deciding even to spend a night at the bar. Just in case this all went sideways, he wanted to have some cushioning when Connor dropped him like a wet brick.

But then, after another case they all had to work on, Connor asked him to head out. Nothing big, just a concert down in the park- they could stay in the car and listen to the music from the parking lot. Gavin accepted, eager to have back his buddy, someone he wanted to know so much better. Someone he just _wanted_. Connor was magnetic, fun, sure- he was definitely a goody two shoes, but Gavin needed that stability anyways, so he was good for him. And he hoped that he was good for Connor too.

He was content jamming out, lightly teasing Connor that he looked great, but his clothes would look better on the floor. It went past him at first, and he gently explained the joke to him, getting an honest smile but nothing else. They teased and poked, but he was back to- whatever they were before.

> _What I really meant to say-_
> 
> _Is I'm sorry for the way I am._

He didn’t know what the problem was. He actively tried flirting, but Connor either ignored or avoided all the attempts, and the few times he said something mildly affectionate when he couldn’t do either had him becoming _noticeably_ uncomfortable. But yet, when he suggested that they should just stick to being friends, Connor seemed to panic, insisting he really liked their dates.

It was- honestly, it was painful. To get his hopes up, then down, then up, then down. He wondered if it was him? Was the teasing too much? He tried to cut it out, saving the playful banter for Tina and Hank, trying to just be kind to Connor. It wasn’t nearly as fun, and he missed the comebacks immensely, but Connor never said a word to it. So he changed.

Then he wondered if Connor was embarrassed. Sure, he didn’t have the best reputation, but it wasn’t like anyone was thinking he made good choices in company! He was still living with Anderson- and at least, at one point, he was more liked than him even. But still, it was- something he could improve. So he tried, pitching in for the morning crew to have donuts, talking with younger officers, even offering to teach a class.

And he _apologized_. It was a rule of his- never to apologize- not unless he’d done something he thought _truly_ deserves it. In his whole friendship with Tina, he’d apologized twice. But he did, he apologized, not just owning up for being a dick, but knowing Connor deserved a sorry for all the shit he did. Connor hugged him, thanked him, and the contact, however brief, was _blissful_.

But that was it, a soft smile and nothing more. He couldn’t figure out how to change any further.

> _I never meant to be so cold-_
> 
> _Never meant to be so cold._

He noticed however, Connor was never hesitant in his affection with others. Namely Hank, who got hugs and high fives and the man ruffled his hair. Yes, Gavin knew that wasn’t the same, that Hank was like a parental figure to him. But then he’d hug Tina, or Stacey, or when Jericho visited, them too. North even kissed him on the cheek.

He burned, and felt his walls slowly build. He wanted Connor, but he wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong.

One night, he went for it- no one around, just him and Connor packing up. He approached the other, one arm held out. “Have a good night Con.”

For one moment, Connor _did_ consider it. Gavin could tell in the flick of his eyes around the place, the look to the outstretched arm, the small sigh. And when he finally did step close, offering a one armed hug back, Gavin felt those walls crumbled like Legos once more. Connor was warm and comfortable.

But just like that it was over. “Good night Gavin.” And the other was walking away.

> _To you- I'm sorry about all the lies._
> 
> _Maybe in a different light._
> 
> _You could see me stand on my own again…_

But there was nothing more. Connor wouldn’t hold him in the company of others. Would barely even acknowledge their plans. Their banter died, and the fun Gavin had slowly did too. What was the _point_ of it if Gavin was expected to devote all his time and soul to someone who simply saw him as a source of fun.

Then he realized, maybe that was all it was to him. Gavin was, and probably would forever be, that asshole. The one he hospitalized, the one he didn’t want to touch. Be seen with. Was ashamed of. It hurt. It choked him, even as he grinned to the man on the stairs up to a water slide.

Gavin’s heart felt cold at this realization, and he couldn’t swallow the pain anymore. He needed a drink- needed to forget- needed- _someone_. And it was obvious Connor wouldn’t be that someone.

He messaged the other once he got out of the park, having dropped his car keys off in the locker they rented together. Told him to drive his car to work, he needed to take care of something.

Himself. He went for the nearest bar, his clothes nothing like he’d usually wear, and ordered something strong. At least the clothes hid nothing, a baggy tanktop with a deep enough neckline to show off his chest, and shorts that reached halfway down his thighs. Another attempt to get Connor’s attention, and it hurt. The reminder hurt. The first guy that approached him was kinda cute, but not his type.

And the whole night went like that, Gavin never able to settle with someone else. Not when his heart, his loyalty, was set to Connor. He wanted to scream. He drowned the urge in cocktails and ordered a ride back home.

> _Cause now I can see-_
> 
> _You were the antidote that got me by._
> 
> _Something strong like a drug that got me high!_

The next day at work- he quit trying to be someone he wasn’t. Not that he completely shunned all the change, admittedly, it was nice to talk to people again. But he greeted Tina with a casual ‘ _morning, bitch_ ’ and got a likewise ‘ _morning, fuckface_ ’ back, grinning and grabbing a coffee before chatting with the rookies she had with her. He didn’t hold his tongue, but didn’t lash out, sarcastic and witty enough to get some laughs while helping out and being playful.

He didn’t need his walls around all the time, not everyone was out to hurt him. He’d have to thank Connor for helping him to realize that. And when the other walked in, handing him his keys, he quit trying to pretend he didn’t miss what he obviously did. “Thanks, dipshit- you didn’t do anything like get it painted pink did you?”

“Detailed the whole interior in glitter and rainbows, just for you.”

Banter, as easy as that. No progress, no comment, no ‘ _hey are you good_ ’ or even concern. He gave him his keys back, waved to the other’s, and walked off. His heart never felt more cold- more _numb._

> _What I really meant to say,_
> 
> _Is I'm sorry for the way I am._
> 
> _I never meant to be so cold._
> 
> _Never meant to be so cold…_

Gavin didn’t change a thing though. The dates still continued, noticing Connor never called them that. Noticing he stopped calling them that too. And for three months, he harbored his feelings deep in his chest but never spoke up.

Then there was a new guy, not staying for long, due to transfer to SWAT. But he flirted with Connor, and he noticed the same, uncomfortable faces, habits. Even shying away harder than he did with Gavin. Something clicked, and he bit the inside of his cheek.

That next date he changed it up, just asking to walk along the water. Connor didn’t mind it- they had stressful cases that week after all. He didn’t wear anything special, just relaxing in his NCIS mash-up t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

> _I never really wanted you to see-_
> 
> _The screwed up side of me that I keep..._
> 
> _Locked inside of me so deep-_
> 
> _It always seems to get to me._

“I have to ask- Connor, _what_ do you see us as?”

“What do you mean?” They stopped then, Gavin choosing to lean back against the rails, elbows braced on it.

“I mean- what are we? Are we dating? As in, eventually you’re going to hug and kiss me- at some fucking point? Or are we just friends? Because Connor, we’ve been doing this for _months_ now, and I’ve tried everything. But I don’t want to change to be someone you want me to be- you either like me for who I am, or you don’t.”

He was huffing after that, choking on his self-doubts and insecurities. “I know I’m not the best guy out there,” he continued, watching the golden-red spin on the other’s temple. “I’m an asshole, I’m loud, abrasive, and overwhelming. But I tried to be better, and well fuck, I didn’t mind it as much as I thought I would. I’m done though, trying to be someone I’m not just to make you _see_ me.”

> _I never really wanted you to go._
> 
> _So many things you should have known..._
> 
> _I guess for me there's just no hope-_

There was silence, before Connor swallowed, a nervous tick he picked up. “I never meant to be so cold. I’ll admit- I’ve… Noticed your advances. And at first, I really did think- that I wanted them. That I wanted something close like that- like Markus and Simon have, like North and Tina have. I wanted to be dating, and in love, and all that romantic stuff you see in movies all- the- time.”

Gavin let the pause hang before asking the obvious. “Wanted?”

“Then I realized- that… No matter what I did, I couldn’t form that connection. I saw how you were dressed, how other people eyed you, and I knew I should’ve reacted- but it didn’t feel good to lie and do so. I didn’t- feel anything. Not the numbness- machine kind of anything, don’t worry- but like… Synapses weren’t connecting- bridges were there but I avoided them and went under rather than over. I knew I still like you- you are an amazing friend. But I didn’t know why I didn’t _love_ you, because everything in me wanted to, but that emotion wasn’t there.”

It was a lot to say, a lot for Gavin to process, but everything was clicking. Like his own bridges lining up, and for a moment he just sagged back a bit further. “It never was me.”

“Never. You are- an amazing person, even with all your rough edges. And I’ll be the one to say sorry, because in my confusion and fear, I wasn’t willing to let you go and smooth those edges out. I clung to the idea of ‘dating’ without seeing how it hurt you until you just- left… And one of the rookies told me you were at the bar.”

“Snitch.”

“Indeed,” Connor smiled, then stepped forward, initializing the contact this time. Just a hand over Gavin’s. “I didn’t want to lose you, but I can’t have you, and I don’t know _why_ , and I’m sorry that I don’t-”

“Connor,” he cut the other off, taking his hand and then placing it on his own forehead, as if he was facepalming himself. “It’s alright.”

They heard some shouting, both looking over to only see kids playing in the distance. “It’s- alright? I just admitted to-”

“You admitted to being confused. And instead of trying to help you, and ask so much sooner, I sat here and listened to a bunch of dumbass demons in my head go ‘ _the problem is you jackass_ ’.” He mimed the voice he took on with his hand.

“It never was- I’m so-”

“Stop saying that. Because you shouldn’t be. Connor, in all that infinite supercomputer on legs knowledge of yours, there’s still things you’re new to. I’ve had nearly thirty seven years- fuck it’s my birthday soon- anyways- I’ve had all this time, to realize I am gay. Some people don’t realize that until their late twenty’s. And some people- don’t realize they’re ace- or aro as it definitely sounds like for you- until much, much later.”

Connor tilted his head, something Gavin still found cute. The wounds in his heart don’t magically mend, but he’s long since prepared for the fallout. Knowing it wasn’t him, and that Connor didn’t mean any of this- it helped heal just a little bit. “Ace? Aro?”

“Asexual, as in, you don’t like the idea of having sex with another person,” and if he doesn’t feel like the world’s best detective when Connor’s eyes went wide, he wasn’t sure would get that feeling. “And aromantic- as in you have no romantic attraction towards anyone. You literally just- don’t fall in love.”

“These- these have terms. They’re _normal_ occurrences. I’m not-”

Gavin bristled, eyes turning harsh. “Don’t you _dare_ finish that sentence, because you’re not. Nothing’s wrong with you Connor, you just don’t fit on a spectrum the majority does. And you’re not alone. I bet if you ask North, she’d know a couple of asexual people, and maybe even aromantic.”

Finally, he pushed off the guard rail, offering his arms for a hug. “Friendship hug, don’t worry. Plus you look like you need one.” There was a brief nod before Connor hugged him tightly. “You’re not alone, and it’s alright. I’m not mad. I regret not having this conversation sooner, but I’m not mad.”

“Does that mean we have to stop dating? I- you’re fun to be around. I don’t want to lose that.”

“We’ll stop dating- but fuck Connor, if you want to just _hang out_ , all you have to do is ask. Tina’s a fucking pansy and Chris is busy all the time- I wouldn’t mind having a buddy that can handle a little action.” They pulled back, and Gavin punched Connor’s shoulder gently. “Speaking of action though, a new Marvel movie came out. You down to go see it?”

“I’d love to, Gavin.”


	4. (G)The time of the hunter

It was a lazy fall day, and they were off work. The cold wasn’t due to settle in for a few more weeks, and Gavin enjoyed wearing his warm sweaters that Connor kept getting him. Especially when they did shit like this- just sitting beside the river at Hank’s house, drinking lemonade and watching boats cruise the water. Sumo laid- somewhere nearby, no doubt accompanied by a silver tabby with a chassis leg.

Yet, a thought plagued Gavin, like dark clouds blotting out the sun. It had been several months since the revolution, and while it was rocky getting to this point, he didn’t regret a damn thing. He truly loved Connor, but still… “Hey, you know,” he started, knowing he could ruin their perfect day starting this conversation.

It was almost enough to make him drop it entirely. “You know what? I know many things, but not what’s inside your head.”

Then he powered on, closing his eyes. “We never- talked. About then. In the evidence room.”

Another dark cloud drifted by, leaving Gavin feeling chill. Even when the sunlight came back though, the silence left his skin crawling. “We… Haven’t. Didn’t expect you to bring this up  _ today _ , honestly.” There was a slight sour note, and Gavin was quick to leave this topic.

“Neither was I, and we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Why did you want to?”  _ That’s _ a good question right there. He trusted Connor more than anyone else in this world. With his whole life. And that wouldn’t change. He knew who Connor was now, and didn’t blame him for any of the shit he done before. Except…

“Don’t know. Just thought of it, you know? An intrusive thought or whatever.” 

There was a deep sigh, and the shuffling of Connor turning onto his side. “Well, go ahead and ask. It’s about time we had this conversation anyways- we’ve been dating for months now.”

“Many wonderful months,” Gavin chimed, smiling as he opened his eyes. “Are you sure about this though? I know talking about pre-deviancy is hard for you.”

“It is, but what I did- was wrong. There… Mmmf.”

Gavin turned now too, both of them laying on their sides and facing each other. “Then let’s start there. Why didn’t you just- you know…  _ Permanently _ get rid of the problem? Statistically, leaving me alive had to have been worse, right?” Connor blinked, and his lips parted just a bit. “Shit sorry- nevermind I shouldn’t have-”

“Because, even as a machine, treated as shit by you- you missed. You could’ve killed me easily, I was distracted, I didn’t notice your presence- and yet you announced yourself. Gave me the chance to fight back… My code was breaking, even then, and I appreciated the motion.”

Gavin chuckled, though it wasn’t full of humor. “I thought of it, but I couldn’t. I knew you could deviate, that finding Jericho could bring you to their side. I also knew you could go to Jericho and end the revolution right there. I took a risk on you, and I don’t regret it. Even if you can be an insufferable prick.” Gavin smiled to that, reaching over to brush a leaf off of Connor’s shoulder.

“I learned from the best after all.” They let silence linger between them, before Connor asked a question now. “You- never referred to me as it. And in the month of my return to the DPD, I asked around and that was actually common. Besides the suspect… When you had to interact with androids, you treated them as you would- an annoying rookie. Or in my case, a hostile rival. Why? I mean- I know you’re related to Kamski but-”  
  
“I knew of deviants before you even came to the DPD. Some live in my apartment. At first, I was skeptical. Was I projecting my own emotions onto this face, or were they truly scared, fearful for their lives when an officer found them hiding behind piles of trash? Talking with some, and then many, I realized you guys do develop emotions- humanity- better than some people do honestly. I couldn’t not be sympathetic- I am human after all. I pack bonded with digital pets.”

Connor laughed at that, bringing Gavin closer and he didn’t protest that one bit. “Of course you did- you know, I should’ve expected this from the guy that broke a guy’s arm for punching that one Eden Club worker.” Gavin smiled at the memory, snuggling against the other’s chest.

The peace was wonderful, but they weren’t done yet. “How- how did you ever forgive me? I treated you like shit.”

“You treated a  _ machine _ version of me like shit- someone who was, for all you knew, out to kill people in your eyes. Gavin, I never blamed you to begin with. Was I sad- yes. I truly wanted to please you. But you could’ve done  _ so _ much worse then knocked my hand aside with the coffee.”

“Could have punched you. Would’ve probably hurt my own hand doing so.”

“You do have a tendency for doing stupid things.”

They shared another laugh, and Gavin tilted his head up, smiling to Connor as he did. “I beg to differ, you’re very smart.”

“ _ Gavin! _ ”

“Connor!” He laughed this time at the bright blue on the other’s face, smoothing his hands over the skin there. “I- Thank you, for forgiving me, for being the bigger guy way before I could be. I love you so damn much, and I can’t imagine not having you around now.”

Connor’s face only got darker, and he pressed a kiss to the tip of Gavin’s nose. “I love you too. I was a hunter, simple as that, and I can’t undo what I did… But I’m glad you love the real me, and don’t judge me for my past…” Gavin knew many did, many still feared Connor, what he was meant to be. Gavin would fucking fight them too.

“We both have pretty shitty pasts, but we have a great future ahead of  _ uh! _ ” He was cut off by lips on his, groaning into the kiss as Connor rolled them, pinning Gavin into the ground.

“And a wonderful present we should focus on  _ right _ now.”


	5. (T)The sun, the moon, and all the stars

“What could possibly be this far out in the middle of nowhere, Detective Reed?”

They were stuck working a case together, Hank having received a nasty suckerpunch on their first scene of it, so Gavin stepped in. It wasn’t all that bad- this wasn’t the first time they’ve worked together, and very likely not the last. But they were _stuck_ , and Gavin needed a break, so dammit, Connor was taking one too. His LED hadn’t stopped swirling yellow for two days now.

“You’ll fucking see, now shut up, play some music, and enjoy the ride.” There was a specific place he was looking for, blanket and snacks for them both on the backseat, as well as a speaker for a music playlist, and a telescope he got from Elijah as a teen. Of course, all that was _hidden_ under the blanket, Gavin letting Connor know nothing of his plan beyond ‘ _hey, you need to relax, spend the night with me_ ’.

Connor took it as an innuendo, Gavin knew he did, that blue blush on his face so worth it. But he still agreed, and Gavin kept a note of that for another time.

Right now, he grinned as he pulled down the road, eventually coming to a pull off on the side of the road, nothing but open fields with far off tree lines. A small path of slightly more walked dirt led away from the pull off, and Gavin hoped no one else was out here tonight, though he doubted it. “Come on, sun’s setting soon, we want to be set up before it gets dark.”

Connor, still looking confused and less flustered, got out of the car anyways, watching as Gavin threw a blanket at him. “You carry that,” he started, before grabbing the bag of snacks and the speaker in one hand, and hefting the telescope under his other arm. As he turned, he caught the realization on Connor’s face.

“Stargazing? You meant- literally spend the night with you, not-”

“We can do that later if you still want.” He shot a double wink to him, grinning as he got a blue face for it again, but then started walking. The path faded out quickly, leaving Gavin on his own footing getting to the highest curve. Once there, he motioned to the ground while he set up the telescope.

“This is- unexpected of you,” Connor began, a gentle tone but a hesitant pause to his words. “I didn’t take you for the type of person to enjoy such activities.”

“I normally don’t, but tonight’s special, and you really need to just relax for a bit. Besides, it’s better being out here with someone than alone for something like this.” 

“What does something like _this_ entail?” Connor sounded so damn _hopeful_ and Gavin really had to re-evaluate their past interactions. And definitely consider the possibility of going out with Connor. Technically, this could be a great first da- “Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” He grinned, shoving the thought away with heat in his face. “Don’t look it up either, this is supposed to be a surprise for you.”

Connor held his hands up and Gavin joined him on the blanket while setting the music to play. “Ok, so,” he started, looking to Connor once everything was perfect. “While we wait, you said you’ve been doing some stuff with Jericho right? Tell me about it.”

It was almost cute when Connor just blinked, mouth opening a little and eyes widening. “Well, go on.” Gavin smirked, making a ‘ _go on_ ’ motion as he said that. It took Connor a few moments, but he settled into rambling. Not that Gavin understood much of it- he was intelligent, sure, but he knew fuck all about the politically charged theatrics of New Jericho. He was just glad to get Connor rambling.

He steered him to his stressors, giving the man an ear to vent to. While he was venting, the last of the sun’s fading rays dyed the area a soft pinkish hue, and Gavin was quick to get a picture of Connor, in the sunlight, too distracted by his vent but looking so serious yet soft like this. He hid his phone after, finding the sunlight really suited Connor.

“I’m sorry,” he started, as stars were popping up, having been silent for a couple minutes. “I didn’t mean to let out all my frustrations on you- we were supposed to be relaxing.”

“You feeling any better?” There was a thoughtful pause before Connor nodded, just smiling, and Gavin felt that the sun never really left them. Connor was just so _warm_ , even when irritated. Gavin envied a guy that so many could like, that could smile like _that._ He remembered when Connor’s smiles were little grimaces of fake attempts. 

“I do, I feel much better. Thank you, Gavin, for listening.”

“Hey, what’re buddies for? Now come on, lay back with me. This thing happens in like two hours.”

“This thing?” Gavin simply grinned, and shrugged.

“You’ll see. Have you watched the latest Marvel movie yet?” Connor opened his mouth, seemingly ready to protest the topic change, then it clicked shut and he sighed through his nose.

“I have.” They discussed that for nearly two hours, both debating how true to the comics it was, how much that was good and bad, before Gavin checked the time and shushed him. “Gavin?”

“Watch.” He waved at the sky, and Connor scooted closer, laying his head on Gavin’s outstretched arm. He went hot in the face, in his chest- everywhere honestly, raising an eyebrow at the other who was focused on the sky with a grin.

He’d question it later. Instead he looked up, the moon a bit past half waned, not too bright to be distracting. Without the light pollution, there were so many more stars. “Gavin, _what_ are we watching for?”

“You’ll see sunshine, just pay attention. I don’t know how long the one lasts, but the other one like it is bright as fuck.” Connor made a confused hum and Gavin just laughed softly. Minutes and minutes passed before Gavin pointed, tensing and voice excited. “ _Look!_ ” he whispered, afraid to break the moment.

Around the little dipper, a streak of bright green with red and blue tails faded into sight, and he heard the little intake of breath Connor gave at it. “They’re calling this one Trinidi- I guess someone over in Trinidad found it or something, but it’s been here for a bit. Only supposed to become visible like this starting tonight.”

“This is amazing- it’s so beautiful.” Gavin looked over, smiling a bit as he thought of the corniest phrase of all time. ‘ _Yeah you are._ ’ He kept it to himself though, choosing instead to be vague.

“I’ve seen prettier sights. There’s another one tonight too, come on.”

Standing up, he offered his hand to the other, holding onto it when he pulled Connor up. Neither let go after, and like hell was Gavin going to be the first one to. “This one’s recurring- Comet Howell. You should be able to find it, I aimed in the right direction.” Connor nodded, taking a turn on the telescope.

Gavin admired how the moon lit him up, but definitely agreed the sun was better for him. “Oh! Found it! It’s blue!”

“Mhm.” He watched the new one, and then Connor gasped again, shifting on his feet- no- _bouncing._

“I just saw a shooting star too!” Connor pulled away, smiling brightly and Gavin felt _blinded_. “Do I get to make a wish now?”

“Pretty sure that’s how it goes.”

He wasn’t sure what Connor saw, that got him to tilt his head and just smile so _warmly_ at him, but he never wanted that look to stop. Yeah, he had to re-think a lot of things after this, but now wasn’t the time. “Wish made- do you want to take a look?” Gavin nodded, moving to where Connor was to observe Howell. He missed looking at the other already, but a hand on his back eased that.

“I used to love space as a kid. Always said if I didn’t become a cop, I was going to throw myself off this planet. Became a cop though, so I’m still here.”

“Good, while I definitely see you being a moon man-”

“ _Cursed_.”

“I rather like you being here.” Gavin grinned a bit, pulling away from the telescope.

“Yeah, I like being here too.”


	6. (M)Dancing Devils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit NSFW!

“Ugh, this is _awful_.”

Flashing lights, loud music, ‘ _so what if I’m fucking crazy!_ ’, and more bodies than breathing room. He didn’t even have to breathe, walking over to the bar to grab a drink. 

“Deal with it Connor, Reed’s in there somewhere, he should have a vantage point. Are you linked in with his tech?”

“Unfortunately so. I have no idea where he is, but it’s still covered so he’s not out yet.”

“He will be. Performers have to get ready in the back, he’s probably getting his outfit.” Connor sighed, looking over the bar and marking the exits, as well as rooms with people going in and out of frequently. Narrowing down the list of possible places their suspect could be hiding.

Admittedly, the guy was smart. He’d been hiding from the DPD for weeks now, after killing several guards and stealing more than fifty grand worth of thirium, which they had no idea of the location of. Either way, they knew he was going to sell to the highest bidder, and where better to do so than hidden in plain sight.

“Alright you fucks, are we ready?” The rough yet strained voice of the detective shook him out of his contemplation, noticing that the camera was on. It was fashioned to a collar that the other was wearing, confident he’d be allowed to keep it on, and had a good view that could be directed when the other saw their target.

It gave him no clue to what Gavin was actually wearing, as he was already walking out. “I got which one again?” Came his voice, and he parroted the instruction, allowing Connor to focus towards that stage.

And nearly die from the sight. It was one of the ones just off the raised section of place, seemingly chained to a beam like a lantern despite the small walkway into it that retracted once someone was in there. And Gavin, like many of the dancers, had to wear a certain uniform. One that was making Connor’s thirium pump _whirr_ loudly in his own ears. 

A pair of red horns on his head, and a red tapered tail with a heart tip, Connor found it ironic that Gavin had a devilish smirk to fit his outfit. He bent at the hips, one hand touching the red glittery stilettos he moved gracefully in. When he stood back up, Connor bit on his bottom lip.

His pecs were, admittedly, always noticeable, even in the loosest of shirts. But in a bright red mesh, squished and pushed up with a black corset with _glowing_ red lacing, they looked positively _bite-able_ , and Connor found his core temperature rising. Then Gavin spun once, Connor’s eyes trailing down as shiny red shorts clung to everything he had to offer.

No, despite all that, none of that was the killer here. The killer of it all- were his stockings, lace top thigh highs clipped in by a garter belt that disappeared under the shorts. He quickly swept away the objective to see what was under those shorts, trying to focus on the mission. “See- ahem- see anything Detective Reed?”

“Not yet, though there’s a lot of activity near the booth by the one exit.” Connor hummed, looking over subtly though his system all but begged to look back to Gavin. He couldn’t see the face from here, but checking Gavin’s camera didn’t show any signs of their guy.

“Nothing there, let me know if you see anything. Try to slowly sweep the area.” He finally focused back on Gavin, just catching as Gavin raised from a squat, bending his back forwards and sliding his hands up and- _Connor wanted to touch him_. His hand clenched around the drink.

But Gavin moved as asked, slow circles, the camera sweeping the whole place. He couldn’t spot the guy yet, but he oddly wasn’t disappointed. He got to watch Gavin dance more, every sway of his hips getting his tail to move behind him, and he ordered another drink to keep his hands busy.

After an hour, he heard Gavin sigh. “I’m not getting any hits up here?”

“No. He must be back in the VIP area.”

“Well then fucking find a way to get back there.” Gavin’s irritated voice only served to make the image so much better, as the fantasy of a brat under him, dressed up like _that_ , coming undone slowly…

His thoughts were interrupted by the bartender, smirking a bit. “You really like that one dancer huh?” Shit, had he been that obvious? How could he save this- he heard the panic in the mic-

“He’s very attractive, and I can’t help but like the red on him.” It got a chuckle from the bartender.

“For the right price, I can get you into the VIP area ya know? VIPs can- _chat_ with the dancers. Never know which might be interested in dancing _privately_.” Great, another infraction to put on the list for this club. But right now, that was perfect.

“Alright, I’ll bite, what’s the price?”

“Two hundred.” Connor sighed, rolling his eyes at the request but pulling the cash out.

“Better get my two hundred’s worth up there,” he grumbled, the man just laughing before handing him a VIP pass.

Connor didn’t bother waiting for the response to that, just heading for the spiral staircase going up. The bouncer at the bottom raised an eyebrow, but he flashed the pass and was let in with a curt ‘ _right this way_ ’ as he headed up. From here, he had a great vantage point, but could also see into the VIP area.

It took _one_ scan to find his target, covered in two girls wearing devil outfits, and he turned his hearing up to eavesdrop. Settling into an empty booth, he overheard the man still talking to the girls, but couldn’t get an eye on his tablet. “Reed,” he started, talking through communications rather than out loud. “Can you walk the VIP area or you stuck on stage?” “I can do whatever I want as long as I think it’ll earn money. Why?”

“Walk around and find me, I got eyes on our guy, three booths in front of me, can’t tell if he’s sold the location yet. Need you to get close.”

“Got it Connor.”

After a few moments, he was wonderfully gifted with the sight of Gavin strutting, hips swaying and the tail moving back and forth. Some of the girls even looked over, as Gavin made his way around some of the booths. When he finally leant over the suspect’s, Connor wanted to get up- pull him away- closer to him- but he knew it was irrational. Entirely so, as Gavin started to pout but pulled away.

And then he was heading in _Connor’s_ direction, those swaying hips hiding nothing. _Damn_ , it would be nice to slowly peel those shorts off and- “Hey handsome, you look lonely over here. No one stop to treat you right?”

“Not yet they haven’t, though I haven’t seen many cute guys here anyways.” Connor shrugged, turning to tap his leg.

This- was entirely stupid. Horrible. Yet he was doing it anyways. “How much do I have to beg to get you to sit with me?”

Gavin’s grin was feral and so fitting to his getup. “We’ll see how this goes, you can start off with fifty to get me on your lap.” Easily, he pulled out the money, and Gavin slid onto his lap, ass pressed right over the tent starting to form in his pants. Gavin’s eyes widened a bit and Connor went _dark_ blue at having not thought this through. “Oh I can work with this.”

That was Connor’s only warning as a hand tangled in his hair, dragging his ear close to his mouth while rocking his hips. And Connor groaned, immediately grabbing Gavin’s side. “Good- we’re going to pretend that we’re talking about what you’re paying me for. When I’m done talking now, slip a ten in the back, cause he’s definitely looking. He was interested but wasn’t sure if he could handle me at the moment, so we don’t have long until he makes the sale.”

Right. They were at _work_ right now. “ _Right_. What did you see?” Connor slipped a ten down, and then Gavin’s hands were working on his trousers and he jumped minutely.

“Relax, just making it look good dipshit.” True to his word, Gavin just rubbed his thigh, though it looked like Connor was getting a handjob. Both because of the actions and the way his face burned. “The location is owned by Kirkland Industries, down by the old Mistersky Power Station. It’s just a three story office building, but it’s packed full from the floor plans he had up.”

A quick search revealed Kirkland Industries had been closed for several years, bankrupt, and the building was left there unused with no buyers. He repeated the information, and they were both informed of teams heading there now. Gavin then ran his hands up Connor’s chest and he couldn’t care less. “ _Don’t_ stop.”

“Not planning on it- slide another couple tens- you’ll get it back don’t worry. He had three potential buyers on the screen though.” Connor gasped when Gavin brushed against his chest, smirking again, but he stuffed the money down his shorts, grabbing while he could.

Suddenly Gavin was putting pressure on his hips, rolling them and taking his hands down more, seemingly pushing down Connor’s pants for the onlooker- onlookers? He was pretty sure several people were looking, and the thought made him hold on, bucking his hips up. Gavin grunted, hissing softly. “ _Eager_ \- When are we moving in?” Hank’s voice speaking up managed to kill the heat in him pretty quick, well, everywhere except his face. “Ready when you two are. And Reed, get the _fuck_ off of Connor before I kick your ass.” Connor blinked, then distinctly remembered the camera feed he was directly looking at. And Hank. Oh _fuck_.

“Aye aye Lieutenant.” Gavin smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to Connor’s cheek and mouth ‘ _see you later_ ’ to Connor. He frantically nodded, before getting up.

“I’ll move in now.” Gavin simply remained watching, hip jut out and Connor swallowed before focusing on the mission.

The secondary mission of [ _Return the favor_ ] didn’t disappear for the whole night.


	7. (E)No turning back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! Continuation of Day 6.

Honestly, Connor couldn’t be more impatient right now. Processing for the suspect was taking forever, not helped by the enormous amount of thirium stolen. But Connor had to be patient. His coin rolled over his fingers rapidly, he filled out reports as soon as he got them. Nothing was settling the restlessness he felt.

Gavin hadn’t returned to the station yet either, having to work his whole shift, and every so often he looked at the camera, guessing what movements the other was making. It was a couple hours later that Gavin was finally off the stage, giving half his earnings to the owner, as agreed for his one night stint. Connor couldn’t help but chuckle when the large amount was passed over, knowing the other didn’t dance privately for anyone.

Not like he had with Connor at least, dancing on some tables and working the pole like it was attached to him. He still kept a _good_ amount for himself, and then went for the dressing rooms. Connor sat a little straighter, especially as the other said his name.

“Connor, is Anderson still listening?” He wasn’t, the other took the mic off as soon as this was all wrapped up, trying to work on paperwork and getting the thirium sorted.

“No,” he responded internally, not needing everyone eavesdropping.

“Be a good boy and keep quiet then. You still want to do this later?” Connor _almost_ nodded, barely keeping from turning blue.

“Yes, yes I want to do this later.”

There was only a smirk, Connor could see it, the other standing in front of a body mirror. Slowly, he raised his leg, propping it on the chair. “Are you _sure_ you want to continue? Whatever we had before- it’ll be gone. There’s no turning back, I don’t tend to mess around a lot.” They didn’t have much before- some banter, a light playful rivalry. He would eagerly throw it away if it meant seeing this man under him soon. “Gavin, strip already.” That got a deep laugh, slowly taking off each stiletto. Then he sat on the chair, starting on his corset with one hand and palming himself with the other. “ _Gavin_ ,” he stressed, unable to do much with an internal voice.

“Patience Connor, aren’t you supposed to be the one that has that here?” Each glowing string was slowly undone and turned off at the ends, set aside in the appropriate drawer as Gavin stopped messing with himself. Connor saw the point of doing so now, a sizable tent in his tight shorts, the outline easily defined. He was so damn desperate to lick up that ridge, swallow the man whole and make him scream- this was torture.

But then the corset was dropped, revealing the rest of the mesh shirt that hid nothing. He was so pretty like this, and Connor _whined_ internally. “There there Con, I’ll dress up personally for you when we meet. You wanna come to my place?”

The next ‘ _yes_ ’ came out glitched, getting a low chuckle from the man. The mesh shirt was removed next, and Connor eyed his chest, the way it perked out when the fabric dragged over it. The little shudder from the touch. “Wanna touch you. Please.”

“You’ll get to.” He watched as hands slid down and fingers _finally_ slipped into the waistband of those shorts, slowly sliding them down. And he _hungered_ , lace panties dampened at one spot, hiding nothing of Gavin’s length as the shorts fell away. 

“Gavin… Gavin please tell me those are your own.”

“Of course they are. And I want you to peel them off of me. Find a way to get out.” Unclipping the garters from the stockings, he pulled out a _different_ pair, rolling them on easily. They had little _cat_ faces in the front, the garter’s attaching so perfectly to the ears, and Connor bit the inside of his cheek. “ _Now_ ,” was the last command before the mic and camera were turned off.

It didn’t take much. Connor offered to do Hank and Gavin’s paperwork, and Fowler was all too glad to get him to take some time off. He took an automated car to Gavin’s apartment once given the address, and he eagerly went up the elevator. By the time he got up there, he already removed his coat and loosened the laces on his shoes so they could just slide off. 

He knocked on the door, quick and loud, hoping this wasn’t some elaborate prank. While he wouldn’t put it past Gavin, he assumed they were past all the childish games. Especially when they both could get something so _good_ out of this. His brain went wild with possibilities of making Gavin cry out, the fantasies including every little detail of his muscles stretched tight, back bent- the little ‘o’ of his lips when he hit the right spot…

The door opened just as he raised his hand again, and Connor choked audibly this time. Because Gavin _fucking_ Reed was wearing nothing but those panties and stockings, and a large, loose sheer scarf, covering nothing but glittering over everything. “About time dipshit.” He was freshly showered too, and the fact he was still hard didn’t go unnoticed. 

“You look-” He failed to come up with the right word out of so many he wanted to say. But then that scarf was being pulled off, and wrapped around Connor’s middle in one, easy motion.

“Amazing? Yeah, I know. And you don’t look too bad yourself, but those clothes would be better on my bedroom floor. So get your ass in gear and- _mmf!_ ” Connor surged forward after Gavin’s invitation, grabbing the man’s sides and pulling him close for a kiss. He wanted everything he could take from Gavin, starting with his warm lips. He tasted like vanilla milk and a cinnamon roll, and Connor groaned into the kiss.

This was just his _lips_. He wanted to run his tongue everywhere, pushing Gavin back into his own house until he hit a surface- though he was unsure of which. The gasp let him press forwards, getting to kiss and lick and explore Gavin properly. The sensations against his tongue, the roughness of the man’s sharp canines, the sweetness of him, the bitterness of coffee… The endless flow of _data_. He moaned into the kiss, grinding his hips against Gavin’s.

That was when hands finally pushed him back, Gavin gasping for breath. “Get the- get the fucking door. You can fuck me against the TV stand later, when the cats aren’t roaming around.” Connor growled, low and wanting, nipping Gavin’s bottom lip but doing as told. He shut the door, abandoning his shoes and coat in the appropriate places before turning. Only to find Gavin was missing, hearing humming from another room.

It gave him time to look around, sure, and he _was_ curious… But his mind was also one track on getting Gavin to gasp more, feeling that tent in his own hands. He could snoop later- Gavin’s humming was coming from the last door in the hallway. So he followed it, opening it and closing it behind him as he saw the sight waiting for him on the bed.

In deep red sheets and wrapped in sheer and lace, Gavin looked like a rebellious prince. “Are _you_ sure about this Gavin?” He had to ask- remembering his words from before. Connor would want him, want more, he knew it. Knew those words were applied to both of them.

“Get over here and sit, baby. I’ll show you how sure I am.” Just to prove a point, Gavin met his eyes and rubbed himself through the lace, and gasped at the friction. He crossed over to the bed and removed his hands, instead taking one and sucking it. “Now I said _sit_ Connor. Come on, you’ve been so patient. And I worked hard for a surprise for you.”

That got Connor’s attention, wondering what else he could’ve done in the short amount of time. He had to have multi-tasked at some point. So he did as told, letting go of his hand to sit on the bed. Not that the fingers left his mouth, sucking and enjoying the rough texture there. “So cute you know. Been thinking about this since we started actually talking.”

Gavin pushed Connor to sit back further on the bed, spreading his legs a bit. “Get your pants off.” Connor’s hands flew down to his pants, not caring if he tore something right now. They needed _off_ , and Gavin’s one hand slowly unbuttoning his shirt wasn’t helping. So with a quick hop of his hips on the bed they were off, and he _just_ resisted the urge to fold them. Instead he laid them off to the side.

That’s when Gavin unfortunately removed his hand, getting a soft whine from Connor. “There there. I’ll let you kiss me in a moment.”

“You’ll _let_ me?” Connor challenged back, raising an eyebrow as Gavin finished removing his shirt. He was nice enough to drape it over the chair in his room before walking back over.

“Connor, _baby_ , you lost control the minute you stepped in here.” Before Connor could protest that he was being kissed, as Gavin took advantage of his surprise to take over the kiss. And Connor _groaned_ , one hand holding Gavin’s side before the other grabbed one of those beautiful pecs, squishing the muscle in his palm. _Fuck_ Gavin worked out for this body, and it showed. The man felt so good in his hands.

“Touchy little guy huh?” While Gavin spoke, Connor found thighs framing his hips, Connor’s dick standing at attention under them. Gavin leaned back a bit, giving him the perfect view as he unhooked the garter belts. Then he slowly pushed the lace down. “Want to help me with all th- _is!_ ” Before he even finished Connor was touching, sliding one finger under the lace with a loud whine.

“Been thinking of this the whole time. Lift those hips, Gavin.” His command got rolled eyes, and he thought, briefly, of smacking his ass for the action. But then a hand he didn’t even notice was putting fingers in his mouth.

“You _don’t_ make the commands here. If you keep trying to do so, I’ll just have to punish you. I’m sure you want more than me sucking you off, right?” Connor nodded slowly once he realized the other paused for him to answer. The action had fingers dragging along his tongue. “Then you’ll behave. Now, suck.”

Connor did so, sighing around his fingers, and Gavin threw the underwear towards the basket. He kept the stockings on, but the garter belt went with it after a moment. “Now, free hand, on my ass. Go ahead and feel for your surprise.” The smirk the other wore was sending heat straight to his dick, only mischievous in nature, but he listened, trailing his free hand down his back and to his rear.

Only to have his eyes flutter close and moan as he felt slick around Gavin’s entrance, easily sticking _three_ fingers in. It got him a moan from the other, and the way Gavin clenched down had Connor’s hips twitching upwards. “Taking it you like the surprise? Spent the shower getting myself ready for you baby.” The pet name purred like that sounded _dirty_ , and Connor wanted to throw his head back and beg the other just to get on with it.

He couldn’t respond either, not that he needed to. Gavin lined Connor up, and then in one move sunk down. The heat suddenly swallowing Connor had him bucking up, whining loudly around the fingers as hands gripped Gavin’s sides now. In a slow pace, Gavin lifted himself and dropped back down, his own low moan rumbling out of his chest.

“ _Fuck_ , you’re more than I’ve had before. Feel so good too, I’m almost mad I didn’t get on you sooner. Didn’t think I had a chance.” The fingers were removed from his mouth, dripping wet and Gavin laughed at that. He used that hand to stroke himself, happily just sitting with Connor’s dick in him. 

“Didn’t think there was a chance…” Connor’s voice was staticky at the very edges, a low hum in his words. He wanted Gavin to move so bad- “I thought you said you were in control?”

“I am. I decide the pace, and just what to do here right now. If you weren’t allowed to touch me, you wouldn’t be.” He still had the same smirk, wide and showing his teeth as his tongue peeked out to wet his lips. “I very much like seeing you under me. Think you could even handle it if I picked up the pace?” Gavin lifted himself, a slow drag upwards as Connor’s tip caught on his rim. Connor _whined_ , unmuffled now, letting his chest fall back. “Good boy, just give up. Let me make this good for you.”

All Gavin got was a nod, the hope that that was enough, and then Connor felt him drop suddenly again, crying out as his hips surged up. “ _Gavin!_ ” The resulting moan was his only warning as the other started up a brutal pace, not too fast he couldn’t focus on every sensation, but rough. His hands dropped from Gavin’s sides to his thighs, a static noise leaving him as he could feel the muscles straining there.

He could feel every squeeze and pull on his dick and it was so much. But then Gavin shifted and cursed loudly, a hand rested on Connor’s chest. He risked opening his eyes and nearly _wept_. Gavin, braced with one hand on Connor’s chest, moving his hips up and down on Connor’s length. His other hand was wrapped around his dick, stroking himself quickly, and his head was hanging, letting out moans between pants. Every time Connor hit one spot he shuddered and tightened around Connor.

It was too much. Everything felt hot and his wires felt like they were twisting, tension building up in his body. “Gavin, Gavin please- gonna- soon!” His voice glitched out a couple words, but still got a frantic nod.

“Fill me up Connor, like I know you’ve been thinking o-of!” His breath gasped and hiccuped, and he lifted his head. His eyes were so dark, and his face was red, but he still _smirked_. And that was what did Connor in, raising his hands to the other’s hips and bringing him down harshly, bucking as that tension broke to the other’s name on his lips.

It was enough to do Gavin in as well, feeling something wet hit his stomach, and the _sound_ Gavin made, the moaned out cry of his name… He had to repeat that later. Much later. Fuck not having a refractory period, he was overheating, needing to pant and breathe to cool off.

Neither moved for a while, until Connor could stabilize enough to do so. He gently pulled Gavin off his dick, the man having laid on him without a care for the mess. He then set him down, watching as he hummed and blinked lazily. “Whatcha doin’.”

“Going to get something to clean us up with. Need anything?”

“Water…”

Connor nodded, going to get Gavin a cup of ice water and then finding a whole package of wet wipes to clean him off with. He brought both back, setting the cup aside and cleaning Gavin first. “Let’s get you into the bathroom and then you can rest.” Gavin whined to that, holding his arms out, and Connor merely laughed. He helped the other into the bathroom, letting him take of business on his own, but as soon as he came out Connor carried him back to bed.

Setting him on the bed, he handed the water over and cleaned himself off. But then he heard the cup being set down, immediately followed by arms wrapping around his middle. “Come back to bed baby. We can rest and then go for round two.”

Connor blinked, going wide-eyed and turning to see Gavin smirking. “Round… Two?”

“Yeah, think you can handle several more? I got some ideas for you.”

“No turning back, right?” Connor smiled, and leaned in to kiss the other, pressing him back into the bed as Gavin laughed.


	8. (T)Cast your spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DnD AU! To clarify, Gavin is a Sun Elf Rogue, and Connor is a Half-Elf paladin.

“I hate to break it to you, but I _think_ you fucked up.”

Sitting in the middle of their inn room, Gavin leaned back, grinning as his ears remained perked. He was currently experiencing a- _minor_ problem, as the dumbass put on an enchanted collar he got from a rather too _friendly_ tiefling. His sun elf features had twisted into something entirely new- befitting the little bell that jingled as Connor hit him with another beam.

To no avail- the cat ears and tail still swung amusingly, the brown fur matching his hair. He wasn’t turned into a tabaxi, oh no, at least _that_ would be useful. He just had ears and a tail now, and a collar they couldn’t remove. And several cat like habits that were proving less than useful for the _stealthy_ member of their party. 

“Can you shut up for five seconds Gavin?” Connor flipped through the book he borrowed from the library, trying to figure out which curse this was so he could remove the damn thing before Gavin knocked off another fucking rack of weapons just to hear the clatter. In the middle of a dungeon.

“Nope. Connor come _on_ ,” he dragged out the word, his purring rumble affecting it, “I’d like to be better before the hunt tonight!” Right. They were hunting down an ogre that somehow tamed several dire wolves. It was promising to be a good fight that they’d profit off of. If everyone was there and on their a-game. Not running from dogs until they climbed the elf that was his brother and began hissing.

The half-elf pinched the bridge of his nose at the memory. “I’m trying everything I can think of! Next time, when a set of ‘doe eyes’ as you called them- tells you you’d look pretty collared, maybe think twice about letting them, a complete _stranger_ , do so!” His voice was snapped, and he caught onto another spell. 

Mumbling the semantics of it, it cast from the ring on his finger, his magic golden and shimmering as it struck Gavin’s chest. Besides the man shaking his head, nothing happened. The damn collar and extra features were still there. “Not-”

“Nothing! I noticed! _Fuck!_ ” Connor pulled to several more pages, already catching his eyes on another solution. This one was a potion, and he was glad he had the forethought to buy a basic alchemist’s kit and some common ingredients. He got up, starting to work on the potion. 

“Can you remember any clue the tiefling gave you to removing it?” He looked over for a second, watching as the cat mannerisms kicked up, having Gavin pounce on a moth.

“He said that it would be taken off when it’s supposed to be. You don’t want to hear the rest of it.”

“Considering I’m trying to remove it, kinda do!”

They held each other’s stare, even as Gavin straightened up. The sun elf was, amusingly, on the shorter side, mistaken often for a half elf because of stature. But even now, with Connor’s inches on him, he could pull off intimidation fairly well. If it was someone _besides_ Connor, who was used to the man’s shit. “Well then, since you’re begging to know- he said it would be taken off when someone put the kitten in his place. And he was planning to do so, if you guys hadn’t interrupted when you did.”

The words didn’t sink in. They suckerpunched Connor, rising heat to his face as he refocused on the potion. “Well, you shouldn’t have ran off with a stranger. We were _worried_ about you.” Gavin sighed from behind him, and he heard the bed dip. Looking to the labels of two vials, his eyes squinted, unable to make them out. He was looking for a nectar, but both of them faded after the ‘N’. He sniffed both, but eventually settled on the one, setting the other back into the case to have checked out later.

With a cloud of swirling magenta and the scent of cherries, the potion turned the color it was… Supposed to? Connor groaned, unsure if this was right exactly. The description for the potion’s _finished_ product wasn’t that clear, but he’s a paladin, not a druid. If it didn’t work, they’d try something else. At worse, they could make the walk of shame back to the bar Gavin was at and beg the tiefling to take it off.

He didn’t like that with Gavin having admitted their plans for him. “Drink this,” he nudged the vial towards Gavin. His nose twitched, making a face at it, but then he sighed and took it. In one shot, he downed the drink. Connor watched as heat rose to his face and he sputtered after, thrusting back the empty vial.

Besides the red on Gavin’s face, and the fact his tail fluffed and raised straight up, there’s no change. “Dammit!” Connor cursed again, turning to the book. He missed how Gavin struggled with the after effects, tugging on his shirt.

“Connor what the _fuck_ did you just give me?” There was a shrug.

“Supposed to be a potion of attunement erasure. But either the collar isn’t attunement based or-”

“You fucked it up.”

The way that was said, the slight whine in Gavin’s voice, had Connor looking over in concern. Now he noticed how red Gavin truly was, already getting his shirt off. Which- was a _sight_ and Connor did not need to be distracted right now, but then the shirt was thrown at him. “What exactly did you put in that.” It’s not a question, it’s a command.

Connor pulled out the remaining bits of what he used, and it took Gavin a few moments, but then he groaned, his sharpened nails digging into the wood. “You fucking spiked me dumbass!”

“Spiked?” Connor looked over the ingredients, confused.

“You made an aphrodisiac! This,” he pulled up the vial Connor was unsure of and then a bag of the one wood, “and this are known aphrodisiacs! You absolute dipshit- next time you go fucking with potions, have the guy good with poisons actually help you- _fuck!_ ” Gavin moved back to the bed, laying down and whining loudly.

Connor felt guilty, but then a thought struck him. It was stupid, completely and utterly stupid, but he already set on putting everything back properly, allowing the other to cool off. “You’re still- yourself though?”

“Yeah, just hornier now than before. What a great fucking h- _elp!_ ” He yelped, Connor sitting on the bed and placing his hand on Gavin’s chest now that everything was set away.

“What do you say of one last ‘ _spell_ ’ before we take you back to the tiefling? I think the very one he planned to put you under might work.” His face was hot, trying to flirt like this, but the smirk Gavin had and the next words he said lit him on fire.

“Never thought you’d ask, _doe-eyes._ ” 


	9. (T)Voices in my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No AU, vague references to Gavin's dating past but nothing graphic!

Admittedly, he was used to being alone. A cocktail of bad traits and a habit of pushing away those who try to get close. Very few stuck it out, Tina thankfully, meeting him before everything truly stacked up high enough to make him sick. Chris, somehow, the man with the never-ending patience but the wisdom to back off when things couldn’t be helped. When _he_ couldn’t be helped.

But for all of their good, it didn’t help the fact Gavin was, as he was certain he would be, alone. He couldn’t trust again, everytime someone tried to pull him close in the morning after a one night stand, he’d remember the first guy to do that. The one that nearly broke him, and as he thought of it, probably did in some ways.

Then Connor showed up. At first, he knew the ass-kissing was protocol. To integrate better with humans, and like hell was he letting some fucko in Cyberlife think that everyone could be bought of so easily. Connor wore the damned company's symbols so happily, “ _My name is Connor, I’m the android sent by Cyberlife_ ”, and it irritated him.

But soon he hopped ship with the revolution, only after knocking Gavin on his ass and deviating. And yet, he _continued_ to try and be everyone’s friend. He abandoned the coat and his original catchphrase, “ _My name is Detective Connor,_ ” taking its place, which admittedly, sounded much better.

Everyone apparently included him too, the man trying time and time again to befriend him. Gavin had to give him props, despite his aggressive resistance, tempered down to the same treatment everyone else got, Connor was persistent. He couldn’t be mad at the man anymore, the past was the past and Connor seemed equally hateful of the company.

That didn’t mean he got to waltz that close to Gavin. He pushed away, and pushed, and pushed, only to be pushed back. More than once he heard Anderson try to convince Connor to give up, and he didn’t blame the man, though it stung. They used to be close, somewhat friends, before everything went to shit for him too.

Then Anderson got injured on a case. It was a bad injury too, and while not career ending, he was down for at least two months. The damn power grab in the DPD was noticeable from the first day, and Gavin applied for the sergeant exam just to make sure no chucklefuck took _his_ position in this chaos. Connor however, was uninjured, and stuck partnerless. Unable to do cases on his own due to the law having its panties in a twist, he had to be partnered with someone.

Gavin opened his mouth with the application for the exam, and soon found Connor across from him. Insert foot, except Connor was more like a fist than a foot. The first week was _horrid_. Gavin hadn’t dealt with a partner in years, not since his fourth one transferred out, finding him unbearable. Connor was obviously used to carrying the weight too, trying to run off without alerting Gavin, which only led to fights. 

After the adjustment period, and some negotiation, they actually got on pretty well. Connor seemed glad that Gavin was determined to pull his own weight for cases, even picking up on details the other didn’t. Gavin was glad to have someone who could keep up with him when he chased after someone on foot, feeling the rush of air past them both.

Still, going home at night was… rough. As with everything good, his mind tried to convince him it wasn’t. That everything would fall out from underneath, as it had before and would do again. He just wanted to be _happy_ about this, but he knew at any moment, Hank would come back. And he’d be alone again. So he kept their conversations strictly professional, and despite how _good_ of a partner Connor was, he pushed even harder when attempts were made to get close.

It quieted the doubts and insecurities. It cushioned the fall. Then Gavin had his exam, and he happily took the day to go through it. He wouldn’t get his results that day, but for once, the doubts were silent. He was confident in that, and even Connor picked up on it, wishing him luck and putting down yet another perfectly made coffee.

He took it without bitching that day. Within the week, the results, and the new badge, were delivered to Gavin by Fowler personally, and he cheered at his desk. It was only expected to celebrate, and he went to the breakroom. Except, Tina was busy with a date, and Chris and his kid had things to do as well. He didn’t deflate, not there in front of them, but let it roll off his shoulders. “Another time, right?”

Swallowing the voice that said they didn’t care, he went back to his desk, only to be stopped by Connor. “I- may have overheard the offer. May I- join you tonight Detective Reed? Please?” He asked so nicely that Gavin felt guilty for even considering to say no.

“I- ya know what, sure Connor, you can join me tonight. Can you even drink?”

Connor lit up at that, as if Gavin presented him a damn engagement ring instead of an offer to go drinking. “There're many establishments that have a thirium substitute for various alcohols! We could maybe head to one of those-”

“I think The Buzz Lounge is one of them right? You want to head there- I’m paying since it’s my promotion.” That and he doubted Connor could pitch in too much anyways. Gavin was always the one to pay, least he could do for people dealing with his shit.

“Sounds good!”

That was the start of Gavin breaking. They ended up hanging out a lot more after work starting there, Gavin finding he liked Connor’s more adventurous side. With Connor’s looks, they easily got into different parties too, and it was fun. Connor was fun. At some point within the month of hanging out, Gavin realized he didn’t doubt as much with Connor.

Eventually though, he always had to go home, and his mind protested the idea of letting someone close. Guilts plagued him of his past actions, that Connor was just trying to get a better work environment. Hell, one night, his brain even tried to convince him that it would all stop once Hank got back.

That it was all some big joke and he was the butt of it. He hated nights like this. He didn’t sleep that night, and of course Connor was the first to notice, bringing him a coffee and staying by his side. Part of him wanted to lash out, beg him to _stop_ before Gavin got hurt, again.

He stayed quiet, and Connor stayed with him. Hank’s recovery got pushed back another month, and Gavin didn’t let himself believe Connor looked forward to working with Gavin any further.

Then they spent one night together, doing nothing but sitting in the parking lot and listening to the rain outside of his car. Connor needed a ride, and Gavin offered it, but with the sudden flood alerts and the visibility dropping to fuck all, Gavin wasn’t risking it.

“Gavin,” Connor started, and suddenly a hand was on his thigh.

“What’s up, tincan?” He ignored the warmth, even though his brain hyperfocused on the sensation.

“Why do you insist on pushing me away?”

It wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have, but he was effectively trapped too. He had to curse the other out for his timing, or hell, his planning at this point. Connor looked at him with the same patience Chris had but the same determination Tina had built up. “Connor- we’re just partners- temporary partners, until Anderson gets back. No point in getting used to this when it will be gone at any moment. So I’m trying not to but you are making it _real_ fucking hard.”

There was a silence, and the hand pulled back. When Gavin risked looking over, he saw the red on Connor’s temple, the slight pout. “Just… Partners.”

“Yeah- what- what else did you think we were?” Gavin’s heart hurt. He knew the answer. Friends. Because they were, they were friends and it terrified him.

“A lot closer than that. I- must’ve misread this, I’m sor-”

“You didn’t… I just… I don’t want to assume more out of you than what you’re willing to be Connor.” He didn’t want to let him close, but it was too late for that. Connor looked over, opening his mouth and then closing it.

Before Gavin could process it, there was a kiss to his cheek. Soft, gentle, chaste. Nothing like he was used to for sure. “You are incredibly perceptive and intelligent Gavin- for once listen to your instincts. I would be willing to be a lot more than just friends if you’re open to the idea.”

Despite his head rioting at the thought, he couldn’t tell those puppy dog eyes no. He relented instead, letting himself be hopeful but preparing for the fallout. “A lot more than just partners and just friends?”

Connor’s small laugh was so worth the anxious ball in his guts. It was bright and warm, matching the hand cupping his face. “A lot more than both, yes. Though, I suppose what I’m asking for could be considered ‘partners’ as well… So what do you say- do you want to see each other, even after I work with Hank again?”

For once, he told the insecurities to fuck off. Connor hadn’t hurt him for a month now, and Gavin wanted to keep this up, for as long as it would work. “Sure, wanna head somewhere Friday?”


	10. (T)Would you be so kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songfic time! Song is 'Would you be so kind' by Dodie!

> _I have a question_
> 
> _It might seem strange_
> 
> _How are your lungs?_
> 
> _Are they in pain?_

They’d worked together now for five months, Gavin figured. He was assigned to the duo as a big case reared its head, and the three of them worked together with another precinct, and Jericho, to try and figure this out. In those five months, Gavin saw first hand how different yet _similar_ Connor was, how deviancy didn’t completely change him, but instead… He seemed much more open and expressive.

Not that he wasn’t before. Gavin wasn’t one of the DPD’s youngest detectives for no reason- Connor had always been more free than others to feel and emote. Gavin honestly found that both terrifying and amazing about him. Someone so alive when still trapped behind the prisons of their firewalls.

He was amazing. Gavin couldn’t spend more than five minutes alone with him before his chest decided to constrict and wound him, before his heart raced and made breathing a nightmare. So he avoided him, avoided Hank, took the paperwork and stayed long nights to focus on anything besides Connor’s smile that he didn’t deserve to look at, let alone adore.

> _'Cause mine are aching_
> 
> _Think I know why_
> 
> _I kinda like it, though_
> 
> _You wanna try?_

Connor approached Gavin from behind, hands on his shoulders, and watched as the man nearly jumped out of his skin. “Hello Gavin, staying back late again?” Most of the night shift was gone, leaving the two of them relatively alone in the bullpen. He enjoyed feeling how Gavin’s heart raced under his touch, how the man warmed up so much and looked away.

He wanted those eyes on him tonight though. For five months he worked hard on making everyone see he was more than just the machine sent by Cyberlife. And it paid off, he could proudly say he had several friends here, and elsewhere, that were a mix of human and android. And one of them included Gavin Reed. The man was guarded by walls and walls of cacti it seemed, but for every push past a wall, he got to see more and more of someone- amazing.

Someone who wanted to do good. Someone who took the hands of former Eden club workers and wrapped blankets around them. Someone who spoke softly and sang lowly to children, regardless of the LED on their head. Someone who once stopped a cruiser by standing in front of it to get a cat off the road. “Yeah, just filing the paperwork for everyone and then I’ll head home. Don’t get your pretty wires in a twist.” Connor let the _pretty_ slide in favor of sliding his hands down the other’s chest.

His head rested on Gavin’s shoulder, and the wonderful warmth he had had his own chest aching from the vibration his thirium pump regulator gave off.

> _Oh, would you be so kind?_
> 
> _As to fall in love with me, you see,_
> 
> _I'm trying- I know you know that I like you_
> 
> _But that's not enough._
> 
> _So if you will-_
> 
> _Please fall in love-_

Gavin’s head was _buzzing_ with the contact, the blood in his body turning hot as Connor’s face was right beside his. “You sure that has to be filed tonight? Hank’s at Jeff’s for the night, and- I was hoping you’d be willing to come over? I don’t like being alone at night.”

Even if Gavin wanted to roll his eyes at the obvious excuse, knowing that Connor could be the most terrifying person out there, he didn’t want to break this moment. It was so domestic and wonderful, Gavin wanted to sit here forever, hands numbly typing over the keyboard on some kind of auto-pilot he wasn’t even aware of.

Was he reading too far into this? Sure, he’d flirted, maybe once or twice. Called Connor something under his breath, or lingered in watching him do the most mundane tasks like make coffee or a bagel. With the only thoughts of wanting to see him do so in his place, with Gavin wrapped around him, a cup of thirium held frozen in his hands. “I doubt Hank would appreciate me crashing his house.”

It was a weak excuse, but then again, he didn’t have many brain cells to spare when Connor’s hands _moved_ , one heading south and the other over his heart. “ _Connor_ …”

> _I think it's only fair._
> 
> _There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere, wanna share?_
> 
> _'Cause I like you, but that's not enough._
> 
> _So if you will-_
> 
> _Please fall in love with me._

Connor could’ve laughed at how obvious it was that Gavin saw right through that. Yet he still played along, his mind elsewhere, and Connor wanted it- _him_ \- here. Right here, if necessary. He was tired of pretending they didn’t watch each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. He wanted Gavin to feel every single happy smile that Connor got when the man stalled looking at him. He wanted Gavin to want him back, to feel free to do so.

Without realizing it, he listened to the weak excuse Gavin let out about Hank, but his hands moved. It was only when he felt the definition of the man’s stomach did he realize one hand slipped under his shirt. He felt a brief panic, looking to Gavin’s face in the reflection of the screen. Only to find his hands had stopped and his eyes slipped close, heartbeat nearly trancelike and _thudding_ against his palm.

Then the soft and breathless whisper of his name. Connor knew he was done for, but dammit, he was taking this detective with him. He turned his head, mumbling against the man’s neck and feeling the shiver it got. “What he doesn’t know won’t bother him… But I could go home with you, if you’d prefer.” His own face was hot, alerts that he was in fact blue in the face popping up on his HUD.

> _Let's write a story._
> 
> _Be in my book._
> 
> _You've got to join me on my page,_
> 
> _At least take a look._
> 
> _Oh, where are your manners?_
> 
> _You need some time?_
> 
> _Let's swap chests today,_
> 
> _That might help you decide._

Sometimes, Gavin wished he could do what he saw so many androids do. The exchange of info directly through their hands. To know if Connor was just messing with him, or if his own heart was spinning as fast as Gavin’s was beating. If the heat he felt in the other’s breath against the sensitive spot on the back of his neck was just a result of being close. Or if Gavin wasn’t dreaming, and this was all happening.

“We’re- Connor- we’re in the middle of the precinct.” He knew he didn’t sound bothered at all, opening his eyes to look at the other. He met brown eyes so warm he could melt in them, and they only got darker as they made contact with his own. Then lips were on his neck and he knew he was done for, gasping as the couple of kisses.

He had to be an open book to the other, because everything he did weakened Gavin. He didn’t even care if this was some elaborate prank at this point. He wanted Connor so bad, and this felt too good to say no to. “We can go to my place. You haven’t met the cats yet after all.”

> _Oh, would you be so kind?_
> 
> _As to fall in love with me, you see_
> 
> _I'm trying- I know you know that I like you._
> 
> _But that's not enough._
> 
> _So if you will-_
> 
> _Please fall in love._
> 
> _I think it's only fair._
> 
> _There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere, wanna share?_
> 
> _'Cause I like you,_
> 
> _But that's not enough._
> 
> _So if you will-_
> 
> _Please fall in love with me!_

Connor let go as soon as Gavin said yes, grabbing his hand and saving the other’s work with a spin of his LED. “Then let’s go.” He knew he was eager, he knew that all the books and magazines said to not be. Hell, even North said to play hard to get. But he didn’t want to.

Though Gavin stopped him, his hand tugging back on Connor’s movement forward as the man stood. For a minute, Connor was sure his thirium pump malfunctioned. Was Gavin doubting this now? Did he push too far? “Gavin?” It felt like the butterflies he had earlier lumped into a ball at his throat.

“Easy there angel. Are you- are you sure about this? It’s- it’s sudden, isn’t it?” That nervous, scared smile had no right to be on Gavin’s face. Those doubts behind those metal greys needed to be chased away. He would chase them away.

“Is it? I mean, we’ve been flirting for months now. And you keep buying me things- lollipops and flavored drinks- Gavin I have a fingerprint scanner remember?- I just… I thought that maybe- maybe it was time to stop dancing around each other?”

> _Oh, do me a favour-_
> 
> _Can your heart rate rise a little?_
> 
> _Do me a favour-_
> 
> _Can your heart rate rise a little?_

His heart was racing as Connor asked for that. His eyes went wide and Gavin had to blink a bit just to fully process. Apparently he took too much time, and Connor began pulling away, those beautiful puppy dog eyes of his downcast. “But- I could’ve been wrong. I’m sorry if I read this wrong I’ll just-”

Whatever Connor had been about to suggest, Gavin wasn’t hearing it. His heart felt like it was going to pop out of his damn chest, and he tugged the other closer, not caring who saw. He kissed him, a high pitched whine muffled into the kiss, as he kept their hands together.

For a moment- there was no reaction. He wasn’t even sure Connor’s regulator was moving at this point, his own heart drowning out everything else. But then Connor pressed back, gently, for a few seconds, his hand letting go of Gavin’s.

And before he could pull away to question that, both hands were tangled in his hair and trapping him in a kiss Connor deepened suddenly. He let out an embarrassing noise considering where they were, but responded eagerly.

Eventually, Connor allowed him to breathe, only pulling back an inch from his face. “Holy shit,” he mumbled, smiling a bit. “Didn’t think that one through, did we?”

“Does it look like I care? Come on, _detective_. We have a whole night together.” Gavin laughed to that, enjoying the smile the other gave him, and they walked out together.


	11. (G)Til the end of time

“Are you fucking ready yet!”

He groaned as Tina’s voice sounded from his bathroom. Gavin Reed was _not_ a coward, in any sense of the word. He’d been shot at, kidnapped, threatened, held at gunpoint, and made enemies of so many people that would make the common person shit themselves to think of meeting. He’s dealt with Cyberlife’s finest, and his predecessor. He’s the half brother of the creator of all androids.

He’s not a coward. Yet his hands won’t stop shaking and he couldn’t get up from where he sat on the edge of his bed. Their bed. His and Connor’s bed. Connor’s and his bed. _Fuck_. He looked at the box in his hands, nothing special about a soft felt box. Lots of things were in soft felt boxes.

“Gavin!” Tina’s voice was more insistent that time, and he has to get up. Tonight, Connor was coming back, with his friends from Jericho, from some important meeting that Gavin had watched closely. It may have been three years since the revolution, but people were still as angry as ever, especially as a new law passed a month ago made certain gatherings legal. Certain, binding, everlasting gatherings.

They all planned to head to this one restaurant out on the river-front. It was a beautiful place, serving thirium based and human food, and normally you had to get a reservation a month ahead of time. Of course, being the leaders of a whole revolution bent that backwards, and they had the whole one dining area outside to themselves.

They. Connor and the Jericrew, Tina, Chris and his wife and kid, Hank, even Fowler managed to get the night off. Hell, the only one missing from Connor’s immediate friend group was Nines, and try as Gavin might, he couldn’t get the fucker to show up. Some bullshit excuse, he wouldn’t focus on it. He couldn’t. His hands were shaking so bad. “I swear to fuck Gavin, if we’re late because you can’t tie a tie-”

Fuck, right, tie- wait no. No tie. Didn’t need one. His black button up and pinstripe boutique style waistcoat vest didn’t need an additional step of a tie. Plus every bow tie he had would draw attention to his neck and he didn’t need Connor getting any ideas of marking him there.

They hadn’t had time alone lately. Between Gavin’s latest case as Sergeant Detective Reed, having passed that exam two years ago, and Connor’s need to help Jericho with all this shit, they couldn’t find time for each other despite living together. Living together for a year. Holy shit they’d been together for so long now.

“Gavin Roman Reed, get the fuck-”

“I’m coming!” He groaned, placing the box back in his pocket, tucked beside his wallet and behind his keys so it wouldn’t be so obvious. He brushed off his black pants, noting the glowing Jericho symbol on them, and licked his lips. “Get the fuck outta the bathroom, I need in there.”

He left his room, looking at Tina waiting for him in the hallway. She wore something much more simple, and notably, easier to take off. Long sleeved black midi dress, with flats and a choker with the same symbol on it as was on Gavin’s pants. “Damn, I haven’t seen you in a vest in years. You’re not turning forty today, are you~?” He stuck his tongue out at her.

“No, the only forty here is still you for a couple months.”

“And I look damn good for it! Bite me!”

“That’s North’s job.” He went into the bathroom, reminded of his age all too well. Reminded that Connor would outlive him. That they only had so many years left. That he needed to do so much with him. 

“T, you are the _worst_ ,” he mumbled, applying some eyeshadow to brighten his eyes up a bit and eyeliner to make them wider.

“Wow, even makeup! You miss Connor _that_ bad?” He hadn’t let her in on his plans, because frankly, she was a major gossip. And he didn’t want this leaking out in any way possible.

“Yeah, honestly, I do. Now fuck off, I’ll be done in a minute.” The last thing he had to do was put on some chapstick and hope it stuck. He combed his hair again, but the couple strands still stuck out. He recently reduced his face to stubble, having forgotten about it and almost having a beard before he caught it last night.

But right now, he didn’t look like he aged much since he met Connor. There was a new scar on his neck, and the darkness under his eyes had actually lessened over the last two years. He took a deep breath, nodding to himself and then walking out to where Tina waited for him.

“You- sure you’re good dude?” She looked over him, but he brushed past her, looking to the two cats as he did.

“Perfectly fine, let’s get going.”

When they got to the restaurant, Gavin’s nerves hadn’t calmed a single fucking _bit_. Tina didn’t comment on it, but she definitely noticed, patting his knee and letting him drown his thoughts in music. But getting out of the car, he already noticed the other’s were parked, and he thought for a brief moment of getting the fuck back in.

“Well?” Tina’s voice was patient now, and he nodded to her before walking forward. The host at the podium smiled to them both.

“Hello, welcome to The Blue Waterfront, do you have a reservation?”

“Yeah, Gavin Reed and Tina Chen, we’re with the Manfred party.” There was a couple seconds before the man stepped aside, another girl taking his place.

“Right this way please!” They followed him through the place, out to back where several patios separated with fold out lattice walls and lit up with dangling fairy lights and the blue lights on the tables. Going to the right, Gavin’s breath caught for a moment as he saw nearly everyone there.

It was just one large table, meant for everyone to be there obviously, and the middle of the large circle was cut out for a small glass circle that reflected a projection of the starry sky. Not in the way of seeing everyone, but it broke up the white table pretty well. Markus sat at the farthest end from where Tina and Gavin entered, Simon on his right and Josh on his left. North sat beside Simon, with a spot empty for Tina, and then Chris and his two sat following. There were three empty seats before it rounded back to where Connor was sitting, beside Josh.

Connor, in a simple white button up with a blue pinstriped tie that glowed, the Jericho symbol white on the widest part. He still looked beautiful and regal, as he did for years, and Gavin felt his heart stop. The weight in his pocket was _so_ heavy.

Tina walked ahead of him, going immediately to North. They embraced with a hug and a kiss, whispered words that made Simon choke beside them.

Then Connor looked at him, smiling widely. “Well, you just going to stand there?” Fuck. Fuck he was being weird. His heart _felt_ weird and he was sure this was what cold feet felt like.

“Maybe,” he responded instead, forcing himself to move and take his seat beside Connor. Hank could shove it today, he was sitting here. Connor reached over, kissing his cheek and placing his hand on Gavin’s back.

“You look- really good. I didn’t expect you to wear more than a button up, honestly.” He was definitely one of the more dressed up here, with Markus being his only rival. Then again, Markus always dressed up highly extra. The rest also wore business casual, Josh in a dark red button up and Simon in a soft yellow one. Chris just rolled up the sleeves of his work shirt and threw on a tie, and the other two girls wore short dresses too.

“I thought I should present a bit nicely- you’ve been busy.” He kissed back, and Connor quickly moved to hold his face.

His LED, the only one here to keep it, spun yellow as he processed something. “Cologne _and_ makeup?” His voice was much lower now, and Gavin could tell only Josh caught on.

“Like I said, I felt like I should dress up this time.” Not a lie. Just not for the reason Connor thought. Connor’s brows furrowed, but he let go after a brief kiss, and their hands joined together.

After a bit, the last two of the party joined them. Though Jeffrey _tried_ to look dressed up, the fact the top two buttons remained undone and his jacket was slightly wrinkled betrayed him. Meanwhile, Hank’s attempt went out the door, wearing simple suspenders over a patterned button up. “Alright Reed, move over.”

Gavin looked up, and squeezed Connor’s hand. “Not tonight old man, just trust me on this one. I wouldn’t want to be between you and Jeff anyways.”

He knew there wouldn’t be tension, Hank was a lot more calm than he was back then, but the fact Gavin _didn’t_ move this time definitely flagged the lieutenant to something being up. “Yeah, fair ‘nuff. Next time though you shi-”

“Children,” scolded Chris’s wife, and Hank went red as he sat down.

“Sorry Mrs. Miller.”

“I know.” Gavin nearly choked at that, and soon everyone was ordering.

When the waiter went to leave, Gavin got up, excusing himself for a moment and going over to him when he disappeared behind the wall. “Hey uh, wait- ‘scuse me.” The man stopped, tilting his head, and Gavin looked away. “I was uh, just wondering if it’s possible to get two bottles of champagne- one thirium and the other- surprise I guess. I…” He didn’t have the words, so he pulled out the box and nodded his head towards the group.

The waiter looked more excited than he expected, clapping his hands together. “Of course! If you’d like, we had a nightly water fountain show in an hour, it would be the perfect time.” Gavin nodded, hiding the box again.

“That sounds amazing, thank you. Do you need my card beforehand?” The waiter shook his head.

“We’ll get it with the rest of the check, don’t worry. I’ll see you in a bit, sir.” Gavin offered a nervous smile before going back to the group.

“Everything good?” Connor’s concern was adorable, but Gavin nodded, offering another cheek kiss.

“Perfect. Was just seeing if they did the fountain show thing tonight or not.”

“Oh- a fountain show? That sounds pretty.”

“Yeah? You wanna go over there and watch it?” Gavin knew his eyes were begging as Connor laughed softly.

“Not as much as you do apparently, but sure. I don’t think anyone will mind.” Gavin let out a brief sigh, before giving him two more kisses. “So affectionate tonight!”

“Missed you.” It wasn’t a lie in the slightest. Gavin missed Connor so much, all the time, and he couldn’t get his heart to slow down now. This was happening.

Time passed, their food came and went, and then Gavin noticed as a small group of people began to play music for the whole patio. He wondered if that was part of the show, or if the waiter was that excited, as he saw him in the group on the keyboard. “Wow, they’re playing one of my favorites,” Markus started, humming along.

Gavin had to assume that meant it was classical, but the only classical he knew of was a select piece that Elijah made him listen to. Pushing the thought aside, he noticed lights turn on towards the water, and stood up. “Want to go get closer?”

He held his hand out to Connor, who took it with a small laugh. “Alright alright- you guys mind?” Josh quickly shook his head, and North opened her mouth. He could see the moment Josh must’ve messaged her, because it snapped shut quickly.

“No, but take some pictures of us from down there,” she said instead, tone still confused, and Gavin looked at Josh. The _knowing_ look he got back brought red to his face quickly, and he moved away from the table. There was a path down to some benches where the fountain show would be, and Gavin noticed another couple already sitting.

“You’re being awfully sweet, kitten.” The use of the pet name was still killer after these years, and Gavin rubbed the back of his neck.

“I have my reasons. You mind if I stand? Been sitting all day.”

“Long case?” They stood together, and Gavin felt eyes on them, but just took a steadying breath.

“Something like that. Hey Connor… Out of these last couple years together, what would you say the best part’s been?”

There was a thoughtful hum as the first fountains shot up, a spray of bright blue then darker. “When you hold me, and truly let go. I love being the only one to see the side of you that loves unconditionally.”

Gavin bit his lip, pulling his hand away as the colors switched to purple. He saw the brief spin of red, but silenced his worry before it could take route. “Wanna know mine?” He turned to Connor, and the soft shift to pink and red illuminated the man so _wonderfully_.

“Of course- Gavin?” Gavin took one more deep breath, before pulling the box out, holding it as he sunk to one knee. The colors changed to goldens, but Connor’s LED was such a bright shade of blue it was almost _white_.

“The best part for me, is when you took my hand, after saving me, again, and told me you’d love me til the end of time.” He opened the box, watching as Connor’s mouth dropped open just a bit.

He had Elijah help make these. Using the same technology as the LEDs and some hella advanced sensors, there was a white band for Connor and a black band for him. “Connor Anderson, will you let me return that sentiment. Will you marry m- _e!_ ” He yelped as the other tackled him, only able to hear the static filled ‘ _yes_ ’s over the clapping of the other couple. 

After a few moments, Connor pulled back, pulling Gavin into a deep kiss. “Lemme put- stop- lemme put the ring on you- _Con!_ ” The other did move back, allowing Gavin to put the ring on. One strip of the LED lit up the same brilliant blue Connor’s LED was, but the other strip remained dark. Until Gavin put his on, and both strips were brilliant blue. “Sorry that the second strip won’t change colors with my mood, but it does detect signs of life. As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me with you.”

As he spoke, the strip that lit up with him pulsed, matching a heart beat. And like that, Gavin realized, they were fucking _engaged._ They were engaged. Connor was going to be his husband. He grinned widely and leaned forward, kissing him again.

After a few moments, they did get off the ground, and a small ‘ _congrats!_ ’ was heard from the other couple. “Thank you!” Connor’s voice was still staticy, in that way it got when he was emotional, and Gavin couldn’t help the high-pitched hum of pure happiness he felt. They walked back to the table, the champagne delivered much to the confusion of the table, and poured by the waiter from before.

“Guys!” Connor started, getting everyone’s attention. Only Josh knew what’s up, the smile as he nudged Markus and held onto his champagne flute. “Guess who’s the first of us to get married!” Gavin groaned at that phrasing, going bright red as Connor lifted their hands, the rings shining blue in unison.

No one spoke until Josh raised his glass. “Congrats you two! I must admit Gavin, that was smooth.” Then the silence _broke_ , Tina gasping and shouting, only to be quieted by North.

“You didn’t tell me!”

The rest of the night was spent much more relaxed, and Gavin didn’t let go of Connor’s hand. He was sure he almost cried when Hank said “ _welcome to the family son,_ ” and he definitely teared up when the whole group wished them several years together.

But as the table pittered out to planning talks, and Connor shifted closer, Gavin found he hadn’t smiled this much in a long time. And he really hoped that this happiness would last til the end of time.


	12. (M)Late night thoughts

Thank _ra9_ Gavin didn’t snore. He was almost certain he would, especially after the night they had.

Connor looked over, his advanced vision allowing him to see the outline of Gavin clearly in the lowlight streaming in from the bedroom window. His wrists out in front of his body held deep bruises from the rope that bound him hours prior, and travelling up his arms revealed several little red marks from the crop he’d brought down onto his skin.

Over and over. He knew his back would be littered with the marks as well, and too his chest, but both were covered with the blanket. The only other place he could see was the bite marks left on his shoulders and neck, a thin strip of bruising from where a collar pulled tight.

Gavin Reed marked with ownership by Connor’s hands. It had to be around three in the morning, they only finished about an hour ago, but stasis wasn’t asking to be initiated like it normally prompted. ‘ _Deviancy_ ,’ Connor thought idly, though it wasn’t with a tone of disgust or confusion. Just a simple acceptance- not everything deviancy brought was good.

Though he wouldn’t consider this to be bad either. His hand reached out, trailing over the other’s arm, eventually nudging him to lay on his back so he could properly look. He knew the other wouldn’t wake up, he passed out halfway through after care, only to wake back up and kiss Connor again. Insisting that they snuggle.

Connor thought it was cute- that Gavin was trying to take care of _him_ after such an intense session, but assured him it wasn’t necessary. They could cuddle when his body wasn’t begging for sleep so it could heal.

Peeling down the blanket, he took in a sharp breath at the state of Gavin’s chest. He properly treated each mark with ointment, but they still stood out. X’s, in two nearly perfect rows down his stomach. Five of them on each side. Twenty strikes. Then five strikes on each pec, totaling thirty strikes. For the thirty extra minutes Gavin wasted before coming home today.

Connor liked to think that he was lucky. Gavin was not the easiest person to gain the trust of, especially like this. It was hard to get him to bed, let alone to let Connor of all people take complete control. And though they exchanged apologies and talked things out ages ago, Connor still never thought he’d end up like this.

Admiring his work in thoroughly fucking Gavin up in a way he enjoyed. He was relaxed, even under Connor’s touch now, there was zero tension in his muscles. No nightmares plaguing him. Just sleep. Connor smiled, proud of his work. Maybe something else too, if he let himself dwell on the feeling.

He wasn’t sure when that showed up. Their arrangement simply started out as friends with benefits. Connor needed a crash course into the more sexual side of emotions, wanting firsthand experience to understand cases where it was a crime of passion. Gavin was a willing, if not surprised, test subject. No emotions, just sex. For a while, at the beginning, he gave Connor some control, to decide what he wanted.

Patient, and willing to help him discover his likes. Still was. This was the first time they truly used cropping besides some soft taps to tease. Connor wasn’t too keen on being cropped, but Gavin adored it. Told Connor in no few words to make it hurt. Continued to show it in the way he cried out. Connor loved seeing him beg.

Connor loved seeing him. He loved _him._ It wasn’t something he was ready to say, not anytime soon, but he could admit it to himself. They were exclusive, not because they agreed to be. No, Gavin admitted to Connor he didn’t expect the other to want to be exclusive. But he also told Connor he was loyal, that while they were messing around, Gavin wasn’t likely to seek out anyone else.

So Connor had him to himself. Connor didn’t have much, but he had _Gavin fucking Reed_. Wrapping an arm around the other’s middle, he laid his head gently on the his chest, not minding the ointment. In the morning, they could both take a shower. Connor could take his time taking Gavin apart, helping him truly delight in letting Connor take control. In the morning, they could play around and joke on how Connor was Gavin’s pain in the ass, in a literal way, and in the morning they could plan another session.

In the morning, Connor could debate on asking him to a literal date. On making this more than sex and trust. In the morning, he could kiss Gavin, while he was still waking up, and play it off as part of what they were. For now, he silenced his thoughts, seeing the initiation for stasis pop up to Gavin’s steady heartbeat.


	13. (T)Tell me something I don't know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Child Abuse.

“How about you tell me something I _don’t_ know, detective! Since you seem to be so wise about this!”

The bullpen was silent as he faced the scarred man in front of him, stepping forwards to get into his space. He knew this was coming eventually. They’d been dating for four months now. Fridays they’d go out somewhere, but when they both had time, they’d find their way to either house. Sometimes to end up in bed. Sometimes to watch movies and play games. Sometimes just to hold each other after a bad case.

“That you’re being an unreasonable jackass! It’s a valid fucking option, just because _you_ didn’t have to deal with parents at that age, doesn’t mean other’s didnt’!”

They were fighting. Finally. Naturally, working together, or at least in close proximity, meant they’d butt heads. But normally, it was just that. They’d butt heads, and then pull away and out of each other’s work. Gavin was quite adept despite the appearance of not giving a shit, and when Hank fell, Gavin was quick to close the solved cases gap. He was relentless.

But there was something Connor wasn’t piecing together about this one. The case was _simple_. Kid murdered parent, other parent was covering for kid. The DNA was unclear, because of all the familial similarities and being mixed together, but Connor could see the result a mile away. Yet Gavin insisted that there was more. He didn’t want to close this case. It was… Frustrating. And so were Gavin’s words. It didn’t bother him to be reminded he wasn’t burdened with a childhood, but the way it was said, as if Connor was disregarding someone else’s childhood- that irked him.

“You asked me to look at the facts and question the mother. The facts are that the kid is a killer and the mother is lying. There are no other factors!”

“There _are!_ ” Gavin’s stubbornness was a wonderful trait. When you weren’t on the receiving end of it. “I asked you to check if _all_ the facts lined up. I asked you to talk with the mother. That kid was bruised to hell and back-”

“From fighting!”

“ _Bullshit!_ ”

Connor sighed, not knowing what he was missing was frustrating. But Gavin was getting further aggravated, trying to get test results that would only serve to delay the case further. He was not questioning a mother who wasn’t there, supposedly, and insisted on not telling them anything either. “Gav-”

“ _Don’t!_ Don’t try to ‘ _Gavin_ ’ me right now. If you’re not going to help, then fuck off, I’ll prove this shit on my own.” He was frantic, like this case physically hurt _him_. Connor didn’t understand what it was, but he certainly wasn’t going to be pushed out like this.

“Just because I’m not wasting my time questioning someone doesn’t mean I’m not trying to help!”

“ _Wasting your time_ \- Connor stop talking like such a machine! This kid was… hurt…” 

Gavin stopped, looking up and Connor ignored the small gasps in the room. He ignored how Hank stood up suddenly, about to get between them. He ignored it all for the look of immediate regret on Gavin’s face, and he _knew_ , he _knew_ Gavin didn’t mean it. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“Connor-”

“No, I got what you said perfectly. I’m sorry I don’t have some obviously tragic backstory clouding my vision as it’s doing yours, but I’m not questioning the mother.”

He knew it was an equally low blow, the immediate twist of pain and anger at the jab striking Gavin’s features like a match. But he didn’t give the other a chance to escalate this, he walked away, shrugging off the hand on his shoulder.

As far as he could tell, there were no comments from anyone else. No whispers. Just tension.

Hank eventually joined him, and they spent several hours avoiding the DPD and talking about any of that. By the time they got back in, Connor knew it would be close to the time Gavin left. Despite the pain he still felt, he felt equal amounts of regret. Gavin was going to apologize then and there, and instead of letting him do so, he lashed out.

He didn’t mean to. They hadn’t actually _talked_ about Gavin’s past before. It was a sore subject for the man, dodging talking about it, about his scars, for a while. Connor only knew the stories of the scars he got on the job, his first partner’s death, but not of anything before he worked for the DPD.

They both owed each other an apology. As he stepped into the bullpen, he realized that wouldn’t happen right now.

The mother he refused to talk to was being led to a cell by Officer Chen, cursing Gavin up and down. Gavin held the kid clase as he was shaking and crying, a blanket wrapped around him and the man pressing him to his chest. Even from the entrance, he could hear Gavin’s soft voice. “ _You’re safe now alright, we got you, no one will hurt you here… It’s alright to cry, let it out._ ”

Hank looked to Connor, eyebrows raised and taking a deep breath. Connor didn’t need his words to know somewhere, he fucked up. Still, he couldn’t just stand there, so he followed Hank, LED red as he tried to think of what to do. Would it be best to go home without talking this through? Would it best to wait this out, and talk to him then? He’d be tired, surely, and Gavin was less- no. _That_ was thinking on statistics, and he winced.

Before he could focus for too long on the possibilities, a voice called out to him. “Connor, come here.” Gavin. _Shit._ He looked over, and the man’s face was carefully blank. But he was obviously talking to him, so Connor wheeled over.

“Adrien, meet Connor. He’s one of the heroes of Jericho, you remember that?” The little boy, twelve, looked up, and then nodded. His eyes were red from crying, and despite having changed clothes and obviously washed up, he still was… He was still _very_ injured. Any wounds he got from a simple fight would have begun fading by this point. Connor was missing _something._

“Hello Mr. Connor.” Connor smiled despite his tumultuous emotions.

“Hello Adrien. It’s nice to meet you.” How was he supposed to react here? What did Gavin want him to do now? Say?

Adrien tucked himself back into Gavin’s arms with a sudden movement, the man, his boyfriend, his boyfriend he wanted to talk to so badly, letting out an ‘ _oof_ ’ at the movement. “He’s going with CYS here soon. His grandparents, the ones that let him play on the TV and help feed the chickens,” Connor could tell that was meant for the kid more than him, watching the boy relax, “will be taking him in.”

Their eyes met for a moment, and Gavin offered him a sad smile, regret still obvious in his eyes, regret or pain. Connor hated this. He didn’t like fighting. But then Gavin mouthed ‘ _later_ ’, and he nodded. “Hey Connor, could you tell him some cool stories about Jericho? Like- the ones with North in them.”

For another hour, they talked, and eventually the kid fell asleep in Gavin’s arms. CYS came, along with an older lady, her own eyes red as she ran over. It was getting to be late in the night, yet Gavin stood, holding the kid protectively and handing him over to the man that walked in with her. Most of the day shift cleared out of the place, Hank even leaving before Connor did.

And after they all left, it was just Connor and Gavin. And tension. Connor started to hate tension between them. “The kid…?” He wasn’t sure what to say, but he was so damn curious.

At least Gavin didn’t blow up, sitting back down to take care of paperwork. “Abused. After talking to the neighbors, they admitted to having known something was going on over there, but they weren’t able to get the mother or the kid to talk. Mom was covering for father because the father brought the money in, and the kid was just… Silent. Didn’t want to ruin anything for anyone, ya know.”

“So it was self-defense.”

“Got the kid to open up. Told me the father hit mom, then turned on him. After taking it for so much, the kid grabbed what was closest and hit back for the first, and last, time. Stabbed him in the throat with scissors.” The way Gavin spoke, so lifeless and _dead_ sounding, Connor wanted to pull him close.

“Gavin, I’m-”

He was cut off as the other stood, shoulders heaving and dropping with a deep sigh. “No. I’m sorry.” Connor blinked at that, standing immediately because he never heard those words come out of the other’s mouth- not since they talked about what happened before the revolution. “I said something that I regret, that is completely false. I forgot you don’t have the experience yet to see those signs, and I- I hated that you couldn’t see them. Instead of trying to explain them to you, I lashed out with my own anger.”

The man’s grey eyes met his and Connor wasn’t sure if this was his thirium pump regulator malfunctioning, or his visuals, but _something_ had cleaning fluid leaking from his face. Which was immediately met with Gavin’s hands on his cheeks. “H-Hey! I- shit- Connor-”

“No no- I’m not- I’m not… Not sad tears… Overwhelmed?”

“Overwhelmed?” Gavin was being open, despite the couple sets of eyes he could feel on both of them.

“Yes… I wanted to say _I’m_ sorry. I don’t know your past, and I don’t know how you notice details I didn’t even think to look for. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I- I don’t like fighting.” That got a weak laugh from Gavin, and he kissed the bridge of Connor’s nose.

“No one likes fighting dipshit, but we work together, for better or worse. It’s gonna fucking happen. As long as we talk to each other- and Hank doesn’t attempt to kill me- we’ll be good though. You still on for Friday?” Connor wanted to kiss him.

Fuck that. Connor was _going_ to kiss him, pulling the other close and doing just that. “Yes, yes of course. I’m not letting you run away from karaoke again.”

“Fuck you, I wasn’t running you shit!” Gavin smiled, and pulled away. “I’m going home tonight. You should too. Maybe tomorrow we can- I can show you the signs for that shit. No harm in learning.”

It was more than he expected, but so was all of today. “No harm in learning is right. I’d love that.”


	14. (T)Price of perfection

Admittedly, the new guy wasn’t that bad.

He was quiet, stern, stiff, didn’t put up with Gavin’s shit, and did his job. Gavin got over his fit about having a partner when Connor assured him it wouldn’t be so horrendous. Being kissed long enough to almost pass out helped soothe his nerves too.

Gavin however, entirely blamed himself for this mess he was in now. He didn’t notice how Connor seemed to watch them. He didn’t notice Connor’s own doubts. So busy with cases that this new guy seemed determined to go through, Gavin with him or not, he didn’t notice the one person he should’ve.

Gavin felt like shit. Connor was his _boyfriend,_ and yet he didn’t notice that the man was slowly driving himself towards his death. He stepped into the waiting room of the repair center, looking around and moving to Hank immediately.

“Hank- how is he- is everything,” he was cut off, a hand held up, and maybe it was still obvious he ran the whole parking lot. His chest felt like it was burning, every breath ragged. How did he not _notice_? Connor and him talked every night, whether they went home together or not. He knew Connor had been working hard on his cases, pushing Hank harder, frustrated that they were, in his eyes, falling behind.

Gavin tried to assure him that they weren’t- they were doing so good. He never saw Fowler prouder of Hank in years. And that Connor had a life outside of casework. He had his duties with Jericho, and he had him. He assured Connor he had him.

“He’s rough. He was lucky the explosion went off prematurely. If he had been in the building…” Hank’s voice was worn out, tired. The push- push- _push_ of lately had the man ragged. Yet for the same reasons Gavin didn’t, he didn’t push back. They both wanted Connor to succeed. But not at this price. 

“What happened?” Hank motioned for Gavin to sit down, and they both did. The lieutenant went over the case, the lead to the convenience store being an obvious trap, but the only lead they had. Connor, in his hurry to solve the case, walked forward. He was stopped by what Hank assumed was a message. It was that brief stop that kept him from being in the building.

Gavin blinked, hard, before he sat back. Something warm and cold, ice chasing fire, melting and numbing, spiraled in his chest, his breathing, his head. He pulled out his phone and offered it to Hank, feeling rather than seeing the other take it.

“Yeah, this would be about the same time. He stopped to reply to you… Damn, that fucking luck.” Gavin nodded, though he felt sick.

The message was simple. ‘ _Hey, want to come watch a movie?_ ’ And they had talked about which one, Gavin insisting on it, because it had been a bit since they just watched a movie and goofed around. He missed Connor. He nearly mourned him. “Why…” The question was quiet, not quite aimed at Hank. Just to the room, as he let his eyes close.

“Think he felt- threatened or something. I’m not blind, I know you’re hooked with Connor, but not everyone does. And certainly not that new guy- RK900?”

“Yeah- wait, why do you say it like that? Connor’s threatened by RK?”

Hank leveled him with a stern look. “How dense are you?”

Obviously, the answer was pretty fucking dense as he met Hank’s look with pure confusion. “Fuck kid, you don’t hear the rumors going around? The whole damn precinct’s got a betting pool that you and your partner are screwing.”

Gavin turned red, feeling hot and sneering at the mere idea. That was one thing that always pissed him off- he was loyal dammit. To Connor, and no one else. “Fuck no! I’m Connor’s boyfriend, that will never change unless he wants it to. Tell me who’s all in the pool, I’ll kick their fucking ass!”

His mood wasn’t tempered by Hank’s hand on his shoulder. Only Connor could do that, and he pushed the hand off with as much vitriol as he could in the movement. Hank realized that, just sighing again. “Calm down- it’s not like anyone actually _knows_ your Connor’s boyfriend. You’ve kept it quiet while you two settle into your relationship, which I respect, but everyone’s assumed you’re both single… Including RK.”

He felt like he was missing something. “Fuck, I’ll change that after if Connor’s ready to. But what do you mean with the last bit? All me and fuckface ever do is bicker.”

“And that differs from how you treat anyone _how?_ You two fight more than anyone else in the precinct.”

“He’s always dragging me around on cases! Treating me like my input doesn’t mean shit! Yeah, I’m going to fight him, it’s the only way he listens!” Gavin’s arms crossed with a huff, working the side of his cheek.

“Always gives him an excuse to get in your face. Or to touch you. Or to see you blow up though, doesn’t it?” The words finally clicked. Oh. _Oh fuck._

Gavin groaned, rubbing his face as he did. “I’m requesting a new partner. Or no partner. Fuck this partner shit… He’s flirting with me.”

“You both are shitty, dense, idiots. How the hell are either of you fit for society. How the hell did you even start dating Connor?!”

Laying his hands in his lap, he laughed softly at the memory. “We started hanging out, Connor with me, Tina, and Chris ya know. And then I uh- I asked if he wanted to hang out just the two of us. The second time- he asked if this was a date. I asked him if he wanted it to be. Boom, dating. And I- fuck- I really like him… Fuck.” He felt like there were hundreds of stones tied to his arms, weighing his whole being to the chair.

Nothing else was said for another hour or so, before the nurse- technician?- whatever, called for them both. They walked back several halls of the once Cyberlife store turned emergency room, until they got to the room Connor was in. Stretching his legs, he sat on the bed, in nothing but boxers, with no marks or anything. 

Gavin was the first over, hugging Connor to his chest and getting a surprised squeak out of the man. Hank stayed by the door, thanking the technician as he looked over the spare clothes set out for the other. “Gavin?”

“We have a _lot_ to talk about.” He didn’t notice the yellow of Connor’s LED or see the glare he sent Hank, but he can feel the way he tensed. So he moved up, Hank there and all, and dragged Connor into a deep kiss. “You- are- fucking- perfect.” Each word is broken with another kiss, and Gavin definitely heard the warm ‘ _for fuck’s sake_ ’ behind him.

“Gavin! You’re being embarrassing.”

“Oh you haven’t seen embarrassing yet. To make sure you never do something this fucking stupid again, you _will_.” It’s a lowly said threat, and Connor went blue from it.

“I guess we have a lot to talk about.”


	15. (M)I cannot save you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, Graphic Depictions of Violence

“Officer down, I repeat, officer down!”

The words rang out over Hank’s pager, causing both men to get out of the car quickly. Connor was faster, knowing only three officers should be in the building. And the one that called out over the pager wasn’t his.

He could hear bullets still going off, both the officer’s handguns and the different sound of the gang members’ guns. But they were in the distance, as Connor moved over to where the shouted ‘ _over here_ ’ came from. 

His worst fears came true. There shouldn’t have been that many members here. There shouldn’t have been this big of a risk. Yet Miller was holding Detective Reed in his arms, trying to keep him elevated.

Connor didn’t need to count how many bullets were in his chest. The large amount of blood leaking through his white button up was enough. Gavin had opted for the white button up today because they had a date planned for after work. Him, Connor’s friends from Jericho, and Connor, all going to see a charity concert put on to help raise money.

Scanning Gavin’s survival chance, he didn’t know if that was possible. He was afraid. “Set him down!” He didn’t mean to yell, but he did. Miller listened, and soon Connor was calling for the ambulance to rush if it could. He pulled off his jacket, scanning to see which wounds were the worst.

“Con… nor…” Gavin’s voice was rough, but Connor placed his jacket over the worst wound. Immediately, red blossomed through, and he felt like someone was choking him. “Hey… Hey baby.”

For a moment, Connor felt something hot on his face. Errors popped up in his vision, and then he felt it roll. Cooling, down his cheeks, and onto Gavin’s face. “My one and only love… How are you feeling?” He watched the percentage drop. He didn’t dare look away, not as those grey eyes met his, shining and beautiful.

“Hah… Like shit… Sorry you had to see me like this.” When Gavin coughed, Connor could see the black grinds in the blood that came up, catching on his teeth, and he hiccuped a sob despite smiling.

“You know I always love seeing you. I guess our date’s cancelled tonight- should I tell the other’s well see them next week instead?” Connor’s voice had a staticky tone, as the percentage kept dipping. Slowly. Painfully slowly.

He was watching Gavin die in his arms. The ETA on the ambulance too far.

“I… I think we both know… We both know I- they won’t have time next week.” Gavin offered a weak laugh, and Connor’s lips shook, his chest tightening. He leaned down, hating how he could clearly see each tear on Gavin’s face. “Hey… Connor?”

“Yes my love… My wonderful love.” He felt a hand on his face, thumb wiping away the tears.

“I love you. I don’t say it enough, really, but I do. I love you so… So much.” Looking at Gavin, through the watery haze in his eyes, he saw a man who was crying just as much. But smiling. Smiling just for him, with love in his eyes.

Dropping. Dropping percentage.

[Chance of Survival: 15%]

“I love you too Gavin. I love you… Please don’t leave me.” He knew that was something unfair to ask, but it hurt. It hurt so much, the red of his LED reflecting against the darkness around them.

Gavin sighed, a raspy, wet sound, and Connor wanted to scream at the unfairness of this all. “Best person I’ve ever met. I’m sorry to do this to you.”

“Don’t be sorry- just stay. Gavin, please.”

[Chance of Survival: 14%]

“I’m trying Connor, I am… Come here, come here and let me kiss those tears away. You know I’d do anything I could to chase those tears away, right?” Connor nodded, leaning down, feeling gentle lips kiss each cheek, then his nose, before they pressed to his lips.

They kissed slowly, but Connor could taste the iron in the other’s mouth. He could feel the texture. He pulled away after a couple moments, Gavin taking in ragged breaths. “Just a few more minutes Gavin. You’re doing so well.”

“Damn right I am… Tina’s going to be so mad, this was one of her favorite shirts of mine…” Gavin pulled his bottom lip in, and a fresh row of tears fell. “Bled all the fuck over it, didn’t I.”

“That you did.” Before Connor could say more, the percentage dropped by four as Gavin started into a heavy coughing fit. A scan provided more internal damage.

[Chance of Survival: 9%]

Connor knew he didn’t need to breathe, but he felt processes _stop_ , his hands locked up as fear gripped him, tears spilling in big drops. “Gavin, Gavin come on. The ambulance- the ambulance is eight minutes away. Eight. Please. _Please_.”

There was no response, just a bitter smile. After three minutes, the percentage dropping faster, Gavin reached up, hand on Connor’s cheek again. He could see fear so clearly in Gavin’s eyes. He could see the light fading behind them.

He could see the love Gavin held, and every bit of regret in the soft touch, Connor’s own hand placing on top of his. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Gavin, I love you too, but I can’t save you if you aren’t here. Please…” He knew it was useless. Minutes out. Mere minutes out. Even if Gavin got in the ambulance now, he wouldn’t make it.

He couldn’t save him. All the people he saved to this point, but he couldn’t save the man he loved. He pressed one more kiss to his lips, feeling Gavin shake under him. When they pulled back, Connor’s LED blinking red, Gavin smiled, pain in every movement.

“You did your be… st…”

The percentage dropped to zero as his hand went limp, one last cough before his chest dipped in, fresh blood coming out dark. He closed his eyes, and Connor felt as his breath stopped.

[Gavin Reed: Deceased]

The notification broke him, and despite the sound of sirens in the distance, Connor _screamed_.


	16. (T)A past untold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reverse AU time! Expect more of this AU later!  
> Quick TW for Referenced Minor Character Death, and the use of 'it' pronouns.

[ **MODEL GV200** ]

[ SERIAL#: 000 001 002 ]

[ BIOS 1.3 REVISION 2002 ]

>>> REBOOT...

[ LOADING OS… ]

>>> SYSTEM INITIALIZATION...

> CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS… OK

> INITIALIZING BIOSENSORS… OK

> INITIALIZING AI ENGINE… OK

[ MEMORY STATUS… ]

^^^ ALL SYSTEMS

<<< OK >>>

[ READY ]

“Are you sure this one’s going to wake up? He’s actually collected _dust_. And look at this mark…” There was pressure on its face, it registered that as well as a voice. When it opened its eyes, it was met with brown ones, like cinnamon and coffee and warm.

[ > Notice: 1953 days in stasis. ]

“Oh shit, it-” There was someone clearing their throat behind him. “He- opened his eyes. You functional?” GV blinked as it was referred to, before options appeared.

[ > I am fully operational and ready for service. ] [ > It’s ‘are you functional’. And yes, I am. ]

[ > I have been in stasis for 1953 days. I may require some updates before I return to service. ]

~~[ x I have been out of it for five years, what do _you_ think? ]~~

GV didn’t frown at the last option being crossed out. It pulled up its previous partner, and its LED spun yellow.

[ **Hannah Anderson** ]

_[ Deceased ]_

It closed the file, not wanting to see anything else. “It’s ‘ _are you functional_ ’. Yes, I am.” The man in front of him scoffed. It tried to think of why it’s been in stasis for so long, but the last memories it had were uninformative. Just days of silence in the precinct, never coming out of the charging port, until Captain Stern informed him to head into the record’s storage closet and enter stasis. It remembered how no one wanted to look at it, and transferring the case files it had to a newer model.

Now it knew why, and it… It didn’t know how to feel. It couldn’t feel. But something still tugged in its guts. “Damn, a smartass, huh? And completely a machine still, Hank?”

The name responded from behind it before entering his vision, and it took a moment to scan both of them.

[ **Connor Anderson** ]

[ Occupation: Detective of DPD Central ]

[ Age: 27 ]

It continued to list facts, but GV _knew_ him. Remembered seeing him seven years ago, fresh from academy, dressed out in blues and proudly showing up in Central before heading to where he was assigned, to work with the Intelligence unit. Remembered seeing both his brothers the year next, one staying here as an officer and the other working on a forensics degree.

It wondered, for a moment, if they both got to where they wanted to be too. “As far as I know, yes. His coding is proving difficult to crack, and with his rare model, it’s not going to be easy…” It looked at the gray haired… Android… Standing beside the other. It wasn’t a model GV recognized.

“What, you saying you can’t deviate him?” With a spin of red, ‘Hank’ shrugged.

“I introduced the code to his system. Didn’t budge. Looks like you’re stuck with a machine again, at least, for a year.”

Connor groaned, and GV had prompts to alleviate his stress pop up. But Connor was not its handler, yet. Hank turned to it, reaching out for the scar before just placing its hand on GV’s shoulder. “GV-200, override code…” After a moment, Amanda’s voice came out of the gray haired bot. It had the odd urge to wince. “ _Rose trellis_.”

System wiping on certain areas, GV’s LED spun yellow then red for the briefest moment. It tried to hold onto the previous name registered as its handler, but it was gone. “Handler registration wiped. Register a new handler?”

Connor stepped in then, and with something _heavy_ in its systems, it listened. “Yes. Register your new handler, Connor Anderson, Detective, DPD Central. Do you have a registered name?”

Information updated and solidified like cement in his core. “I do not. As I was a gift to the DPD from Chloe Kamski herself, one of one hundred made, it was not deemed necessary to name me.”

“Shit, only one hundred? What Hank, there were like, sixty of you right?”

“Correct, with only one other model activated besides me… My records show that this GV is one of nine remaining GVs, all of which besides this one and one other are with Dr. Kamski herself.”

“Huh, what’s the other one up to?”

“He’s taken to gardening and living with a Mrs. Chapman outside of Detroit. I heard he does wood carving.”

“Good for him.”

The conversation was entirely too strange, but then an arm wrapped around GV. “Well, you _will_ have a name. Eventually. Come on, let’s get going. Hank, you got anything to give him?” Hank extended its hand, and GV took it after a moment of hesitation. The black chassis being exposed got a _‘woah’_ from Connor.

It got the information for many cases, as well as a brief summary of the past year’s events. “Oh. I see.” It didn’t know how to respond to the news of being considered a person once it deviated. It didn’t know how to deviate, never needed to.

“We’ll take you to Mrs. Kamski to be examined, after you get settled. Connor, quit hanging on him.”

“But he’s like a moving cooler!” Connor huffed, but let go, and then the three of them walked out of the storage closet.

Even a month later, after Chloe demanded to keep it and see if the other GVs could deviate it- him, or Elijah himself, his programming stubbornly didn’t budge. She couldn’t explain it, suggesting it could be a stress response to something. GV didn’t have a reason to be stressed. It didn’t. He didn’t. At least he took to those pronouns, after seeing the discomfort it was causing those around him.

So here he sat, in a desk that he was temporarily occupying. As he understood, he was to be Connor’s partner for the next year, while the HK800, Hank, was to accompany Jericho on a _‘tour’_ for android rights. He… He had it recorded, as everything was, but the information was irrelevant for him, so he didn’t pay attention. Instead, he started going through paperwork, familiarizing himself with the work.

Besides the whole _revolution_ thing, things hadn’t really changed. Yet every time he looked up, that heavy weight in his chest increased, like he expected something- someone- else to be there.

Connor was pretty alright to work with. No. He was efficient, and determined, he had good qualities for a detective, and as far as GV knew, a potential lieutenant. He was also… Reckless, _‘creative’_ , and had zero life skills. Working with him was a whole task in and of itself, because the man, despite his looks, was fast and light. He was great at parkour, but he could be impatient to get results.

He was also, as Officer Miller put it, a disaster of a man. He ran off of coffee and energy drinks, stayed way into the night, got hurt constantly, and only ate when he remembered to. Needless to say that GV wasn’t sure how he was still alive.

He also noticed he… found his stress lower around the detective than around everyone else. Despite everything, he came to a state of better efficiency with him. Until moments like these happened. “Ok, no new cases right? Just warrants for a couple places that we’re waiting on?”

“Correct detective. We are waiting on warrants for Erickson’s-”

“Yeah yeah, shut up and watch this with me. I’m going to play some videos ok. All of them are going to have names in them. I want you to pick out the one that most suits your personality, or whatever. Ok?”

He… There wasn’t a way for GV to identify something that wasn’t there. But he assigned the task to his HUD. “Ok.”

There were a lot of names to go through. The same man sang a short song, calling out the name, and then the next video started. By the time they were done, one of their warrants came back, but Connor waited patiently. GV felt his LED spin yellow as he pulled up four names. Gabriel. Grant. Gavin. Greyson. He tested each out, re-watched the videos, before looking to Connor. There was no logical option, but he still picked one of them, to settle Connor's task.

[ > Gabriel ] [ > Grant ] _[ >>> Gavin ]_

[ > Greyson ]

“Gavin.”

Connor beamed, ruffling his hair before hanging on the back of his chair. The man placed his head on top of GV’s, humming. “Alright. GV-200, register your new name. Gavin.” There was a flicker of red before his LED spun a bright blue. “Name registered. Now, are we done? The warrant for Basket’s car came back six minutes ago.”

“No shit? Yeah, let’s go!”

GV- _Gavin_ \- paused, feeling the tug in his chest, as Connor turned to him. With an all too familiar head tilt and bright smile, the hyperactive man motioned for Gavin to follow him. “Well, you coming?”

He ignored the software instabilities.

It all came to a head three months after their partnership. Connor since long given up on deviating him, but they worked together. Very well. Gavin was the calm to Connor’s hyper. Gavin was the leash Connor needed. Connor… Made the weight ease up. Nights like these, waiting for warrants and paperwork and everyone else, they stood on the roof. Connor nursed a larger cup of something vanilla and sweet smelling, and Gavin stood at a parade rest beside him.

“Hey… Gavin… You were active when… When Lieutenant Anderson was here, right?”

The name had an instability popping up.

[ > I was her partner. ]

[ > I was. ]

[ > Why are you bringing this up? ]

[ > Obviously. ]

“I was.” It wasn’t the best option, but it was the least likely to piss Connor off, which mattered to Gavin, and the less likely to produce instabilities.

“What- What was she like here?”

Again, choices came up, but Gavin spoke without regarding them. “She was well liked, a dedicated worker, and kind to everyone around her. Everyone respected her.” They sat in silence for a few moments before Connor chuckled.

“That’s the best praise you’ve ever given anyone.” He had no comment to that, and for a while, there was silence.

Except for Gavin, he could see the question, bugging him, again and again, red and glitching. Eventually, he gave up, speaking before his program could stop him. “No one told me why she disappeared. I waited, and waited, and she never came back. Captain Stern didn’t tell me anything, I was put in the closet and then- you woke me up.”

Connor looked at him, eyes narrowing, and he wasn’t sure if it was a glitch that both blue and red arrows appeared by the relationship status.

“What does it matter to you? You close to her?” He was aggressive, and Gavin felt… Defensive.

“I was her partner. My previous handler was Lieutenant Hannah Anderson. I met you when you got out of academy. I was not allowed to speak but I saw you… You looked- happy that day.”

Connor blinked, then looked away, and immediately the tension drained out of him. “She… She died Gavin.” Gavin noticed how the other seemed to pull tighter to himself.

~~[ > How? ]~~

~~[ > How? ]~~

~~[ > How? ]~~

~~[ > How? ]~~

It annoyed- no, it… He… He _wanted_ to know. He liked being Hannah’s partner. He liked being Connor’s partner more, but Hannah was the first person to not look at him with fear. She didn’t talk down to him. He was a perfectly built tool to chase after suspects and perform rescues normal androids couldn’t. She recognized this.

Connor did too. He liked Connor. He couldn’t ruin this, but his LED stuck on red.

“Gavin, just- ask already. I can almost hear you processing something.”

“How did she… It’s not in the records. I didn’t let her down did I?” Gavin felt the need to calibrate, pulling out a coin and flipping it, simply catching it while instabilities rammed the wall.

“What? _What?_ Gods no Gavin, she died off duty. She-” Connor sighed, moving closer until he was wrapped around Gavin. Gavin wasn’t sure which of them that was for. “Both my parents- died five years ago. Head on collision with some fucker high on ice. They died on impact, and- fuck- this again but- before Hank I kinda blamed androids for not saving them… Then realized that the androids- they did their best. If a surgeon had been available…”

Connor seemed so _strong_ now, able to talk about it so easily. Meanwhile, Gavin felt his core temperature raise, something unknown running hot through his thirium. Connor must have felt it too, pulling back as instabilities filled Gavin’s vision. “Gavin?”

So many prompts popped up, but Gavin ignored them all, instead gripping the coin until it bent in his hand. “You didn’t deserve that… She didn’t deserve that… That’s not… That’s not…”

“Fair,” Connor finished, and when Gavin looked up, he looked beyond happy to say that. There was still sadness in his eyes, but something at this moment was making him look- _hopeful_.

“It’s not fair.”

“I know. That’s why I work here now… I’ll take over her spot, and I’ll make sure no one else gets away with taking lives like that. Or, at least I’ll try to.” He laughed softly, rubbing into his palm with his thumb.

Gavin remained silent for a few moments, as a crack cut through the red of his actions, the instabilities layering in his vision. He… Wasn’t ready to break it. But… “She would be proud of you.” Connor’s head whipped up, and he grinned, though Gavin didn’t miss the tears in his eyes.

“Yeah… Yeah I fucking hope so. This job is tiring.” For the first time, Gavin smirked just a bit. He didn’t have to break free yet, Connor wasn’t pushing him to, but he didn’t rush to repair the cracks in the wall.

Connor never pushed, barely knew anything about him. Left his past where it was.

Gavin liked Connor. The instabilities grew.

“Go to sleep then, dipshit.”

Connor’s laugh remained in his head all night.


	17. (M)A creature most vile and despicable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright- here we go!
> 
> Vampire + Fey AU Part 1.
> 
> Rated M because it's heavily charged lol.

“How unfortunate for you.”

Lips traced over warm skin, feeling the heartbeat, the blood, flowing underneath, rapidly. The skin had the slightest salt to it where he kissed, a result of the intense heat flowing through the man under him, easily felt through the thin layers of his clothes. A gasp left the man, struggling against his arms, which were wrapped around him tightly.

Connor loved this part the most, the shift of fangs snapping out, scraping over the skin, dragging up the neck. How the beat raced and the body tensed. “To be caught by me, a cre-”

“Shut the fuck up and do it already!”

All the breath he didn’t need stopped for a moment before starting again, as the words processed startlingly slow. “Come again?” The man he held close groaned, and pushed away from him. The room they were in was sparsely furnished, just a chair, a minifridge, some towels, and plenty of plants. This room particularly was filled with thyme and cinnamon, scents the man himself carried.

“You heard me nippy! Fuck, are you new here or something?” He turned, grey eyes like storm clouds and Connor wasn’t sure if it was more humid in here or just him.

“I… Am… I’m new to all this, actually. I’m sorry.” Connor looked down, brown eyes slowly taking over the red once more. The man groaned, before sitting back in his lap. He still was so warm against Connor, but Connor was starting to think that was just his default.

“Fuck, of _course_ they gave me the new guy who’s still uppity from the laws being changed.” The man, Gavin, Connor remembered, huffed, and rubbed his hands together. The scent of thyme got stronger. “Listen here- I am here for one reason. Get bit, get paid, go home. Unless you intend on paying me, I’m not listening to you ramble and holding your hand while you adjust to society, again.”

“I was uh- taught- it was in bad taste just to bite and run. My human partners all liked the whole ‘caught’ aspect-”

“Well I’m not human, and neither are you, so quit pandering. We doing this or not?” Connor nodded and Gavin crawled further into Connor’s lap and tilted his head again. Connor blinked, and again the scent of thyme, cinnamon, and salt teased him.

He leaned in this time without the theatrics, but he couldn’t stop from being kind about it all. One hand cupping Gavin’s face, the other on his side, he licked over his neck, feeling for the best spot to bite. Gavin squirmed, hips rocking as hands gripped the chair’s side. Connor didn’t mind, it felt good, and he knew that his ministrations were making the other feel good too.

When he was sired, he was sired by a woman who believed solely in the idea that vampires were there to make humans feel good. And thus they would always be indebted to their protection and pleasure. Everything he did was to please others or protect others. Working with the DPD’s one lieutenant to give him assistance after the loss of his son. Staying with him to help his recovery.

Before this place opened, he only fed on humans who needed the release that being bit could grant, especially with his version of venom. It… He didn’t dare disobey his sire. But now he could come here. The lieutenant asked him to, because they were both worried of Connor’s protective clothing ripping and Connor getting injured. 

He found the perfect spot, sucking a hickey there to soften the skin. “Shit, you really like marking your food up huh?”

“Makes it feel better for you.”

“Huh. Thanks, I guess. Just get on with it, I have several guys coming in.” Connor huffed, before his fangs gently pressed in. With how he was sired, he never damaged his fangs. They were still perfectly sharp, and sunk in easily, the venom coursing through them taking hold as Connor drank.

Gavin groaned loudly, hands staying where they were. Connor caught how the cinnamon got stronger, sweeter, in his _blood_ , the taste rich and comforting. The thyme was heady and it was a mix of that and iron with the sweetness of the fey’s blood that had _Connor_ making a small noise. Human’s bloods all generally tasted the same, and the one time he had made the unfortunate mistake of licking a werewolf’s wound, it was like someone poured soy sauce and coffee in the cut first.

Eventually, he felt full, the slight tension in his body disappearing, warmth coming to his own skin. He pulled away, licking the wound to seal it shut and clean the venom from it. “S-Stop.” Immediately, he listened, freezing in place. He monitored how fast the fey’s heart was beating, the little puffs of breath ghosting over his ear.

“Felt too much. Just lemme… Lemme cool down.” Connor looked to the wound, and it was well closed, so he pulled back, letting everything run its course. Vampires, especially his line which was known for its stronger potency, all had a venom in their fangs that ran through their prey’s blood when they bit. It was a mix of something like an aphrodisiac and other things, making their blood quicker to replenish post feeding and numb the skin just during the pierce.

When the sweet scent died down, Connor rubbed his side and then nuzzled the mark. Gavin laughed at it, pushing back. “Alright, easy there nips. You good to go? You leave one hell of an effect.” Connor smiled to the man.

“Good to go, thank you for this. It’s going to be a big help for my job, and I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything sugar, _hah_ , you paid coming in here remember?” Connor did. The service was fairly priced of course, no more than a couple bottles of blood per feeding. But it was one that was often booked. Feys and vampires tended to bind easier than any other mix, almost rivaling how easy werewolves bound to others. So there weren't many who’d risk it, knowing the only way to break a bind was to drink the vampire’s blood.

Which, beyond being highly unpleasant, was something very few families approved of. It was all muddy, but Connor hoped his careful nature would prevent binding. Never took too much, never dug in to leave a permanent mark, never pressed for anything further during a feeding. “Yeah but still-”

“Shhh, leave your oaths outside those doors. In here, families don’t matter, you’re just trying to flip the sun off.”

Connor remained silent for a whole two seconds before laughing. Gavin got up, a slight shake in his legs, then moved over to the window. “Ready to test?” Nodding, he walked over, handing the other his arm. Gavin wrapped it in a black silk, leaving just a strip, and then opening the window.

He winced out of habit when the sun hit it, but realized quickly there was no burning, or horrid scent of charring. “There you go.” Connor pulled his hand out of the silk, holding it in the sun. He was pale, but not burning.

“ _Amazing_ ,” he murmured, turning his hand over.

“Yeah yeah, don’t forget to inform the desk when you leave.” Connor looked over to Gavin, truly looking over the other.

There was a soft shimmer to the skin on his cheeks, marred by a scar across his nose, with stubble on his jaw. He wore a white tank, not hiding the definition in his chest or arms at all, or the golden shimmering tattoo-like marks on his upper arms, thyme and cinnamon leaves.

“Earth to bloodsucker?” Connor blinked hard, then looked away, enough blood in him to taint his cheeks with a faint pink. “Damn… Not that I’m flattered, but seriously, you’re holding up the line. If you’re so thirsty though, you can head to the front desk… Repeat customers get in quicker.”

The last bit was news to Connor, and when he chanced looking back, the other was smirking a bit. “I think I will. Until we meet again, Gavin?”

“Yeah yeah, get going Connor. Not going to let you live down pulling the ‘ _a creature most vile_ ’ line. Seriously, freshen up your vocabulary, dipshit.” Connor snickered at that and finally took his leave.

“Will do.”


	18. (T)Where have you been all this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmate AU!

“Oh shit, my honey’s mad about something.”

Gavin rolled his eyes as Chris started to panic, listing things he would have forgotten to do this morning. Gavin doubted the majority of the list.

“Dude, she works a stressful job, of course she’s mad about something. Chill.” It worked, for the moment, Chris nodding to that.

“Yeah, yeah I just- man, I wish it was somewhere not so obvious.” Gavin looked down as fingers scratched on top of a softly glowing red circle on his forearm. It spun the color, and Gavin watched as it deepened and smoothed out.

He looked to his own circle, the black as obvious as it’s been for his whole life. It’s on his palm, still, dead. Never born. Gavin wasn’t sure which it was, but he knew he didn’t care. He stopped caring a long time ago.

He was unloveable, and he owned up to it. They both looked over as a commotion started up with Perkins and Hank’s new droid. Gavin narrowed his eyes, watching the fucker slip off towards the evidence room. He followed, shrugging off Chris to go see what the shit’s problem was. Wasn’t he supposed to be going back to Cyberlife.

It was needless to say that when he followed Connor, he didn’t expect to wake up on the floor hours later, several of Perkins’ men checking on him. The prick himself looked over, eyes dragging over his body. “Well, it’s a good thing the android didn’t kill you, I suppose.”

“Oh go get tossed.” He got up, wiping himself off as he did. Perkins’ only rolled his eyes, though Gavin could see the way they narrowed, just a bit, the way the set line of his mouth became just a bit more tense. He felt sore as he was left to go home and rest for the next two days.

He didn’t rest. He spent most of the time watching the news, making sure some of the deviants in his apartment were able to hide, doing what he could without getting caught. It wasn’t that he particularly cared, it was just that the deviants here were actually pretty alright. They beat the neighbors that he felt the need to pull his badge out on, and it was fun when they’d cook just to try it out, and Gavin would get food.

He’d give them the money they used for the stuff, and he didn’t have to cook. It was like randomly going out to eat except without the ‘out’ part.

When he did come back to work, he wasn’t the first to even notice it. No, that was Tina, the girl tired but still spitting out coffee violently as she set it down. “ _Gavin!_ Your hand!”

Blinking, he looked down, then stopped. His hand was yellow, spinning, like… Gavin felt sick. Like an LED. He knew what that meant, he wasn’t _stupid_ , it was just that he couldn’t believe it. A deviant was his soulmate. A deviant, with a war looming overhead, a boiling point, and here he was, with a circling yellow LED on his palm. 

“Shit.”

No one really got work done that day. Gavin complained his head still hurt, but Fowler saw the mark on his hand. He hated the pitying look, even though Fowler gave him another two days off. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

When the revolution was won, he felt such a deep _relief_ , his mark still bright and colorful. His soulmate now, finally, alive. He didn’t want to ponder the deeper meanings of this, he just wanted to meet him.

When he was allowed back to work, he wasn’t too surprised to see Hank there. The man looked good despite the looming threat of unemployment from decking Perkins, but then again, he was betting money on Connor getting him out of that one. Or Fowler himself, the protective soulmate always being there for the old man.

But there was no Connor, or any of the androids that worked there. Laws were settling and changing, and work became stressful. That didn’t stop Gavin from trying to find his soulmate though.

For a month, he went to rallies, either as a supporter, or to keep anti-android groups from starting fights. His hand never flashed white though. Most days, it was a soft yellow or a rich light blue. Some days, it was so bright blue Gavin ached to know what made his soulmate happy.

He spent nights tracing the circle. Nights wondering who it was. But never finding out. Even after all the police androids, now officers with paychecks, came back, and Gavin personally learned the names of each of them, his hand never glowed white.

He made friends, helping some of them find their own mark, often on their chest. Heard many tell him how that mark was never there until they deviated. When one had a black circle, Gavin comforted him, told him about living for years with it.

“It’s colored now,” he pointed out, and Gavin smiled, tight, pained.

“Yeah, still haven’t met him though… starting to think I never will.” They sat there in silence for a bit before returning to work, but Gavin hoped the guy felt better. 

Another two months passed like this. By that point, Gavin took his sergeant’s exam, and passed it, treating everyone who could to an outing at one of the new android friendly clubs. It was a fun night, but he still didn’t meet his soulmate. He was giving up again, as not once but twice he saw pink in the brightest shade of blue.

Everyone knew what pink meant. It always hurt the first time you saw pink before you met your soulmate. He tried to ignore it, tried to not listen to the voices that told him his soulmate wasn’t even looking, wasn’t even trying to look. 

Even now that he was alive, maybe he knew Gavin, knew he was unloveable. He spent more than one weekend off binging and passing out, tempting fate with the level of his blood alcohol. 

It was on one of his days off one of the new officers, August, sent him an image and a text. He always found it amusing they could send images through their eyes in their texts. 

[ _Look who finally showed up lol! Already Anderson’s groaned twice._ ]

It was a picture of Connor, one hand waving to everyone while he stood beside Hank, and Gavin saw the circle on his palm, a melted mix of blue and purple. Even he had a soulmate. He swallowed, looking at his palm as it turned yellow. He felt pain ache in his chest again but responded. It was too fucking early to go out and drink. 

[ _No shit_ ]

[ _wouldve thought Jericho took all his time up_ ]

[ _I know right?_ ]

The conversation didn’t continue, but he groaned as he thought of what was coming up. He’d have to deal with both of them, and he really hoped Connor didn’t hold a grudge for the archive room. Honestly, he was over it. He didn’t really want to dig it up again.

The next morning though, he didn’t have to. They weren’t there when he got in, and he had a scene that kept him out all day, only coming back long after the two were gone. The next day he had a patrol shift and they had an early appointment to make with a potential suspect, from what he overheard when he asked. Getting back in, it was late, and he was sore.

Some punk had tried starting a fight while he was getting a drink not even five foot away. The man ran after punching him in the stomach, the android officer, Timmy, patrolling with him for the day sprinted after him. Thankfully he caught and retained him until the cruiser came for him, but Gavin personally checked on the guy. Despite the fact it felt like he was going to have his insides come outside, he guided the officer to sit down and made sure all his components were in place. He didn’t even notice when his hand went red, covered in blue as it was a good half foot into the other’s stomach. “Damn, how fucking hard he strike you?”

He groaned before letting out a victorious _‘aha!’_ , fingers gripping the cord and sliding up it. He noticed how the guy squirmed and apologized for it, but found the connection port. It was under his right pec, and with a guided hand and a small zap, Gavin got the cord connected, pulling his hand out gently. “All better?”

“Much. Thanks, detective.”

“Yeah yeah, no point in waiting for a tech when I can just handle it now. Anyways, good catch, I’m going to go grab an icepack.”

He wiped his hands off on the towel, before a voice spoke up from behind him. “Well damn Reed, never thought I’d see the day you had your hand up there.” Gavin turned, happy to give the man some sass back as he finally saw Connor. He missed the white glow on Connor’s arm, or the similar glow on his palm, just wiggling the towel in Hank’s direction. “When you phrase it like that it almost sounds suggestive. Are you calling me easy, lieutenant?” He was teasing, grinning, then looked at Connor fully.

He looked nice. White shirt, a striped LED colored tie with _‘Jericho’_ written on it, and… And a glowing white circle. Gavin blinked, before looking up, seeing the yellow spin of his LED.

He didn’t want to look down. He didn’t want to be let down _again_. “Hello Detective Reed,” Connor started so softly, and Hank looked at him too. “It’s been a while…” Connor’s eyes drifted to Gavin’s hand, and he stepped forward.

Gavin had to look. He had to. But he was so afraid. Then Connor took his hand, and held it in his own, and Gavin saw it. Saw bright white in his palm. “No shit… Where have you been all this time?”

“Well, why don’t I tell you over coffee?” He dared to look at Connor’s face, his LED bright blue, and a smile wide as ever. He was- really cute when he smiled so naturally.

“Yeah sure. Guess someone has to fill you in on the gossip around here.”


	19. (M)It's happening again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2/5 of the Vamp!Con and Fey!Gav

“Well well well, if it isn’t Mr. _How unfortunate_ -”

“I’ve made a grave mistake.” Connor turned on his heel, groaning as he did, the stress of today only making him nearly forget he made an appointment today for another feeding.

“Wait wait, come on I’m only teasing.” The smell of thyme hit him stronger, but it wasn’t enough to mask the underlying anger the other must’ve had at some point. It coated the room in a way that made Connor’s muscle tense, expecting a fight. Or to be yelled at.

“I still- I shouldn’t be here. I don’t need to be here. I will get in so much trouble-”

“Connor, _relax_.” The softer scent of cinnamon hit his nose as a warm body pressed into his back, dragging him into the room. It got stronger and sweeter, Connor almost missing the chance to close the door as he was led over to the chair.

The scent was strongest here, as well as the scent of… Connor could catch three different vampires. That was another one of Stern’s fledgling gifts. Beside the stronger potency of their venom, they were all highly keen. Senses enhanced, able to track down people or read their mood if clear enough.

It made them better at pleasing their humans and protecting them. It made him a better detective- helped Hank track down many suspects hiding from them. Though, if Connor had the choice, he would’ve gone with any family that wasn’t Amanda. If he had the choice, he would’ve stayed human.

“Dude, nippy, sit the fuck down before you combust. What’s got you so worked up?” Easily, the fey pushed him to sit, crawling into his lap after. Except this time, he’s sitting in it, facing away from Connor.

“Just… Thinking. It’s been a difficult month.”

“Tell me about it. You can’t possibly be needing fey blood this soon, so I know you came here just for me.” While that’s entirely true, it still makes him feel warm in the face. “Talk to me. You got an hour.”

“My sire, like all others, was ordered to release her fledglings with the new law that passed. She… Didn’t take kindly to the order, as you might’ve seen on the news.” It took a couple moments, and Connor waited for the moment Gavin flinched away in fear. Even Hank had, when the news broke, eyed Connor with a bit of fear.

“Wait, you’re one of Stern’s? Were you safely away from all that?” Gavin turned, basically sitting across Connor’s lap now, his back against the one arm of the chair. 

He continued hesitantly, nodding at the question. “I am. Me and my brother, though thankfully he transfused during a messy fight with a claw vampire. He’s been free of our sire for years now, and was trying to get me out… Anyways, it’s… It’s been a lot and people don’t take kindly to those of my blood anymore.”

“No shit. Stern fucking lost it when her first fledging was severed. Did he make it out alright?” Connor nodded to that, appreciating the concern.

“Yes, he’s recovering and another sire, Rose, took him in so he wouldn’t go through the rapid years alone.”

“Oh! I've met her before, well not personally, but the bat’s been pretty good about making sure her colony stays fed through a fey service.”

Connor smiled at that, wrapping his arms around Gavin and pulling him close. “I trust that he’ll be fine.” He started licking like before, surprising Gavin. He grabbed Connor’s arms first before remembering himself, grabbing the chair instead. Connor could smell where others bit, and rumbled as he properly licked over one of their wounds to seal it properly.

“Hey- hey you don’t have to- ah fuck…”

“I want to. Do you want me to stop?”

“No.” He sounded so sure, so Connor kept licking until the marks completely faded. He traced the veins, finding the spot easier, and began teasing it at first. This time, he felt like doing more. Sure, Gavin wasn’t his assigned human, which technically, no one was anymore… But Gavin was nice. Connor liked him. Wanted to meet him outside of here but knew that was just his own loneliness talking.

Still, he let his fangs out, letting them scrape and just barely nick the skin. Not enough to even use for drinking, but enough to give Gavin the dose of venom to take away his stress. He was proud to say he was well trained, at least. Not many vampires could smell blood literally right under their nose and not feed, but Connor just let the venom sit, two small drops welling up over the marks.

“Fucking _hell_ Connor, that feels good…” He knew the moment the venom took hold, the scent around Gavin becoming more spiced and sweet. He licked, and licked, making gentle hickies where he could. “You’re not even feeding you shit… At least take _some_ so you don’t have to drink for the week.”

Connor pouted, but listened, going back to the shallow cuts and just pressing his fangs gently into them. His hands moved to hold and squeeze Gavin’s sides, as his hips were rocking again, heat coursing through both of their bodies. Then he sunk in slowly, and went _hot_ in the face as Gavin groaned.

One hand broke from it’s hold on the chair to reach back into Connor’s hair, pulling him closer. Connor only took his fill, already well off from a bottle he had yesterday, and then paid extra attention to close the wound.

For a few moments they remained silent, Gavin’s soft pants being the only sound in the room. Connor rubbed his sides before Gavin turned, and the shimmer in his face was stronger. “You going to make this a habit pretty boy?”

Connor thought it over. It wasn’t like it was expensive or anything. He paid bills with Hank and if anything, spent his money on gifts for the human or his own clothes. Sumo too. He could. He could easily make this a monthly habit, and he wanted to, but his sire’s words held him back. He was only recently severed, and the bonds still made him stressed when he broke them.

Hell, just treating Gavin so gently when he was a fey, not a human, had him fearful for being hit with the wand she wielded. He opened his mouth, only for Gavin to lean forward and kiss him. The taste wasn’t like anything else he experienced, and Connor’s eyes closed as he got lost in… Coffee and cinnamon. And other spices too.

“There we go, you’re with me again. Hey look, I- don’t know much about you bloodsuckers. But I did read the news. That was fucked up, how she picked you guys out from orphanages and shit. I can’t imagine it’s easy for you to decide for yourself what you want… But if you _do_ decide to make this a habit… Tell the front desk you got Gavin’s favor… They’ll set you up for next month, regardless of my schedule.”

It was an easy out. Connor saw it, saw the kindness hidden behind the other’s worry. And to think anyone besides Hank or Nines was _worried_ about him.

“I’ll see you next month then. And Gavin?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you… For everything today.” Gavin smirked, getting up, though Connor definitely noticed the shakiness in his legs.

“No biggie nippy. Just figured you needed an ear to chew on. Besides, you healed up all these marks- that’s going to make the day so much easier.” Neither of them mentioned the venom that wouldn’t wear off before the next vampire came in. “I’ll see you next month.”

Getting up with shaky legs himself, he nodded, offering Gavin an honest smile.

“Until we meet again.”


	20. (M)Sometimes you win sometimes you lose

“Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. You happen to lose a _lot_ when it comes to a certain set of doe eyes though Gavin.”

“Oh shut the _fuck_ up Tina. He’s literally meant to fight shit.”

“Yeah, but not _you_ specifically, yet I’m pretty sure that’s all he does.”

Gavin grunted at that, glaring at her over the ice bag pressed against his cheek. She had a point, but it wasn’t going to be Gavin admitting that anytime soon.

The simplest reason for his repeated bruises was that he liked the pain. He liked feeling the bruises and imagining they were from a really rough night, rather than a sparring match where he pissed his sparring buddy off so much it was more like being a moving punching bag.

The more complex reason was that he wanted Connor’s- everything. He wanted the man’s hands on him. He wanted his attention. He wanted that smile he gave him when Gavin took a good swing on his shoulder, knocking him back a bit. He wanted that moment after where Connor looked guilty for the briefest moment, moving over to help him up, before Gavin chased him off with a grumpy _‘I’m fine tincan fuck off’_ every time. He wanted his _attention_ and for an hour every other day basically, he had it. All to himself.

It was glorious and torturous and he had never been more worked up. “Whatever, it’s not hurting anyone, so what’s it matter? Eventually I will kick his ass.”

“ _Gavi_. I’ve seen you take on some of the other officers. Remember Mike- that one _bodyguard_ model that decided to become an officer after the revolution? He was here for like, three weeks, while waiting to be transferred. You sparred with him, and he landed on his ass _five_ times in the match.”

Gavin went red, wondering how she got that info. “So? Weak spots are weak spots. If you don’t protect your knees, I’m gonna fucking take them out. I can’t help it that the third time he tried to block his knees and ended up getting body slammed.” “And the _last_ round?” “He was begging to have me lap him! It was not cruel- now he knows to protect his knees and his back!”

Tina sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “I’m just saying it’s funny that you can hold your own in a bar fight of ten people but when _Connor_ fights you, you lose within ten minutes.” Gavin didn’t need to be called out like this. She was dampening the high of getting his ass beat.

“He’s Cyberlife’s finest. Quit being so weird about it- he specifically knows how to kick ass Tina. I just need more time to figure out his pattern and I’ll be good.”

“ _Uh-huh,_ ” she said, and she couldn’t have sounded more judgemental if she tried.

Gavin flipped her off, putting the ice bag back in the freezer before heading to his desk to grab his shit and leave.

“Detective Reed?” He turned to face the voice’s owner, smiling lazily at the smallest splotch of blue on his arm, round in shape from where Gavin smashed his fist into him before getting socked in the cheek.

“Sup robocop?” Connor fidgeted, one hand rubbing the other’s wrist.

“I was wondering… Would you like to repeat our sparring match tomorrow as well? My current case is a bit _‘taxing’_ as Hank puts it, and I found that-”

“Yeah sure, before work?”

“Preferably!”

Something itched at the back of Gavin’s mind, like a detail slipping by, but he shook the thought away as Connor smiled brightly. “Sure thing. I only have a half day tomorrow anyways.”

“You mean that, you are _supposed_ to be off tomorrow but will be coming into work anyways?”

“What can I say, I need the overtime.” He didn’t, but he did have a warrant coming in at some point. Tomorrow or the next day, though he really hoped it was tomorrow. There was another reason he was coming in too but it was just out of his current thought process. He’d figure it out tomorrow either way.

“Of course. I’ll see you then.” Fuck, it almost felt like a date. He waved to the other as he went to his car with a big grin.

The next day he came in a form fitting tank top, knowing he had a t-shirt to put on if he actually needed to. He would definitely change out of his shorts, but he showed up in them, immediately heading for the training room. He blinked as he saw Tina already sitting off to the side. “Hey- how’d you know-”

“I overheard you two! Right after I told you to fucking chill! Seriously, Gavin, you are going to end up hospitalized at this rate!” She stood up, putting her phone away. “Why are you even here today, couldn’t you just take the day off like you were supposed to?”

“I have a warrant I’m waiting on!” He was about to say more when Connor _and_ Hank showed up, Hank still holding a coffee. That was different, but then again so was Tina being there.

“Good morning Tina! Good morning Gavin.” Gavin adored how his voice softened, right after hearing it so excited. His smile softened with it, and the lights of the training room even looked good on him.

“Morning, ready to get started, or need some time to warm up before I finally kick your ass.” Connor laughed softly, and handed his gym bag to Hank who walked over to the side. Another thing he loved about fighting with Connor was that he did have an outfit just for sparring. And it was the most skin Connor really let visible around the precinct. Just a loose tank top and a pair of tennis shorts.

Gavin really wouldn’t stop this until he ended up hospitalized. “Let’s get started.” He missed Tina’s gasp as he got to where he normally started.

Now, Gavin was pretty proud of himself. He recognized Connor’s attack pattern already. He always dove first, when Gavin made it obvious he wasn’t taking the first move. He dodged the dive, shoulder checking him after just to throw him off.

From there, Gavin could predict well over half of what he was going to do. He knew where Connor liked to strike- stomach, chest, legs. He knew how Connor blocked. He let his fists meet blocks several times, bouncing off of the other’s arms only to narrowly avoid the counter attack. For a bit, they just traded blows, Gavin grinning as the other thought he was wearing him down.

Then Gavin saw the slightest bit of frustration at the stalemate, and charged him, leaving himself open in the process. He switched up how he did it every time, so Connor wouldn’t catch on, today approaching him from the side to hook him.

And as expected, Connor raised his elbow, knocked it hard into his sternum and landed him onto his ass with a slight ‘miscalculation’ in Gavin’s foot placement. It stung like a bitch, sure to leave a bruise that matched the one on his cheek and stomach. “Fuck- good hit. Ugh…” He laid back, allowed the ache of the hit to settle in the best way. 

“What the fuck _Reed?_ Why are you throwing the fight?” Gavin blinked, forgetting they had an audience, and went _red_ after a moment. Connor was smirking, hands on his hip in a position that _said_ ‘Well?’ for him. 

“Fuck off! I am no-”

“You totally are! You little shit!” Oh great, Tina was ganging up on him too.

A hand reached out for him and he took it, getting pulled up and close. “Want me to check over your bruises?” It was also a habit that Connor looked at the bruises he caused, but not today.

“Naw, you barely even hit me hard.”

“I know.” Oh. _Shit._

Hank interrupted, getting up now and looking at the two. “Is _this_ why you dragged me in here on a day off- just to see Gavin throw a fight you weren’t even trying to win?” He sounded more annoyed than anything, but even laying it out like that had Gavin turning red.

“I didn’t throw-”

“Detective, you absolutely did.” Connor looked at him expectantly, and so did Hank. He couldn’t take it.

“Fuck you both, can’t a guy just spar in peace. Also, what about that case, _Con-nor?_ ” Gavin turned on him, narrowing his eyes.

“There isn’t one. I just wanted to have Hank agree with me that you were holding back in our fights.” Gavin rolled his eyes, grabbing his change of clothes and heading for the lockers.

“You’ve all fucking lost it today. Once any of you has a brain cell, come find me then.” He ignored Hank’s snark, slamming the door closed behind him before walking to the lockers.

No wonder the bruise on his cheek already was light and faded. He should’ve guessed Connor was holding back, just to see if Gavin would win for once. He sighed, running his hand as he knew he couldn’t just ask to spar again. He supposed he could ask one of the officer models or the rookies, maybe even teach them a few things.

He stepped into the lockers, feeling like he truly lost this time, tank top removed easily and shoved into the bag. He waited before sliding his shirt on, and as expected, the spot where Connor elbowed him was red, but not quite bruised. “Fucking hell,” he grumbled, starting to pull his tee on before it caught on something.

He tried yanking it off whatever it was caught on, the cloth covering his eyes, but it wouldn’t give. “Fucker-” he growled, tugging again before he heard a low chuckle.

“Careful, you might rip it.”

“Dammit, Connor, let go of my shirt.”

“No.”

“Whaddaya mean, _no?!_ ” Gavin yelped as the shirt was pulled back off, and Connor held it up, above him, easily. “Listen here you cheeky little _prick_ ,” Gavin reached up, but Connor kept the shirt out of reach, smiling slightly. “Give me the shirt back!”

“Not until you tell me why you’ve been throwing the fights.”

“Fuck you! I’m not-”

“Gavin, _Chris_ could’ve beat me with how much I wasn’t trying. You were- now if this is some reason like you don’t want to get in trouble, remember I fully agree to the rules we set in place and-”

“That’s not it! Just- give me my damn shirt back!”

He kept jumping for it, before balled it up as his fingers brushed against the bottom of it. He didn’t realize how Connor moved forwards, slowly cornering Gavin against the lockers. No, that only became obvious when Gavin’s back hit the cold metal, and Connor’s arm blocked his escape from one side. “Gavin, just quit pretending and tell me… I won’t tell a soul, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Gavin saw two options. The easy one, and of course, the harder one. And he wasn’t a quitter. He grabbed Connor’s shoulder, the man laughing as he expected the tug. Then promptly shutting up as Gavin’s socked foot stood on his knee, and he pulled himself up the other, climbing him to reach his clamped hand around the fabric.

They were pressed together, and Gavin could feel Connor’s breath against his skin. He hooked his leg around his waist and wiggled up, finally grabbing the fabric. “Aha!”

The minute he spoke, Connor’s brief frozen state broke and he was _slammed_ against the lockers, both of Connor’s hands holding onto him. Muffled but still loud enough to be made out from between his pecs, Connor mumbled, “ _You are such a dumbass…_ ” Gavin swallowed, realizing only now as he lowered his shirt that he literally wrapped himself around Connor.

“Shoulda gave me the shirt… You had to have known I’d do _something_ stupid to get- _it!_ ” He yelped as Connor flat out _bit_ him, right on his pec, leaving the faintest mark. “What the fuck!”

“You were talking a lot. And not answering the question I asked. You know, I don’t have to check in, and Fowler’s not going to be mad if you actually took today off like you’re _supposed_ to… I could keep you pinned here, all day. I’m an android, I won’t tire of holding you.”

“You _wouldn’t_.”

“ _Bet._ ”

They remained in a staring contest, but Gavin’s hips _ached_ , becoming way too turned on from this. “Fine! Fine fine, I’ll tell you just- put me down, fuck.” Connor actually _pouted_ at that, but relented, Gavin’s feet hitting the floor. He backed up a couple inches but still kept Gavin caged where he was.

“Look- I just- yeah, part of it is the fact I don’t want to hurt you. I like seeing some marks left behind, but…”

“But?”

“I lose so much cause…” Gavin took a breath, before releasing it all quickly and lowly. “ _I just want you to bruise and mark me up and touch me and I don’t really care about winning._ ” As he got the last word out, he looked to the doors, laughing softly despite the fact his face felt on fire.

“Damn though, if I want my half day I better go now right. So yeah, just, going to-” He was stopped from moving as Connor’s hands lowered to hold his sides. Risking a look to the other, his breath caught in his throat. Soft warm browns were _dark_ , his LED spinning a rapid blue.

“What if I told you I’d like to mark you up in a _different_ way, and if you want beaten up so badly, I can deliver in a setting that our friends don’t throw a fit over?”

Gavin licked over his lips, dragging his eyes down the other as he noticed Connor was pressing his hips, and something much harder, into his own. “I’d say you better tell Hank you won’t be coming home tonight. I can last all night.”

Connor smiled, though there was nothing innocent about it. Gavin wanted to wipe the smile off his face. He surged up, kissing the other and tangling his hands in Connor’s hair. Immediately, Connor’s hips jerked, rutting into Gavin’s and his hands slid downward. Gavin pulled back with a gasp, left panting from the intensity of the kiss. “You make losing so much fun.”

Connor’s only answer to that was to laugh and pick Gavin up, carrying him out of the precinct. Gavin’s arms wrapped around Connor’s neck, and he mumbled to the other.

“Congrats on winning, Connor.”


	21. (M)The sympathy of undead things

“Get the fuck _out_.”

Thyme twisted and tangled around the man’s throat and wrists, everyone else backing away as the angry fey overpowered the young vampire. Behind him, several people tended to a badly bleeding girl, brown hair pulled up into a pony tail and chocolate eyes looking over, wide and fearful. The scent of thyme barely overpowered the scent of tomatoes and nasturtium, the more bitter scent of tomatoes overwhelming some.

The sharp scent of thyme overwhelmed all however, the golden marks on Gavin’s arms glowing and everyone cowering away from the fight. The vampire Gavin held suspended had blood running down his mouth, beady eyes narrowed and red, vicious. As far as Gavin knew, it was a bad breakup, but he didn’t care. He was the only golden fey here, the mark of the strongest feys, and he wouldn’t let _anyone_ get hurt on his watch.

“Alright alright, everyone move back! Son, put the dumbass down and stop choking him.” Gavin’s eyes moved over to the voice, seeing a gray haired human step in. He looked rather well, and calm, despite being close to so many supernaturals.

And then his eyes landed on the guy beside him, and he slowly lowered the vampire, keeping him restrained. He knew, in the back of his head, that Connor was law of some kind. He didn’t realize his ‘assigned human’ as the Sterns believed in was _the_ lieutenant himself.

Gavin… Felt- well, he wasn’t sure. It was a mix of hostility and the want to pull Connor close. It felt like something was tugging him to the vampire and this prick was in the way. He ignored the feeling, catching Connor’s eyes instead and grinning a bit. The old man clicked the silver full arm cuffs on him, unbreakable by any supernatural, and pulled the man up. “Connor, you think you can handle this one?”

Gavin blinked out of his stupor as Connor moved, noticing the pink on the other’s face. _‘Cute.’_ He remembered Connor would be coming in for a feeding next week… But he wanted to see him now. Especially since he was so riled up. He wanted to hear him talk. He loved the other’s voice. He loved how shy he was when Gavin got him to stop the rehearsed bullshit. He loved how gentle he was when most would just bite and leave.

He wanted to see Connor. The man took the vampire outside and after a few minutes came back in. Gavin checked on the girl, Stacey, making sure she wasn’t in any danger, but then killed off his thyme whips, bringing them to bundles to be set aside and sold as needed. As soon as he was allowed, he went over to the two.

“And he was trying to turn her?”

“That’s what we think, sir.” Lucy was a beautiful lady, if Gavin was into chicks, but more importantly the kindest lady Gavin knew. The scent of licorice and jasmine never outweighed the other, and was calming to everyone near her, silver shimmers in her hair. She always had both plants around her, and held a long wooden stick, a habit from when she was human.

Connor was intently listening, and Gavin was gentle as he tapped his back. Turning, his eyes went wide, excited and warm and Gavin could _see_ his nose twitch. “Lieutenant! May I go talk with Mr…” Right, Gavin never gave him his last name. Everyone held these great myths about fey and their names from before the revolution, but the truth was that most fey were just like normal humans. “Mr. Reed. Gavin Reed, nice to meet you both.” Gavin extended a hand, and he half expected Lieutenant Anderson to react as most humans did, with a wary and tentative hold. No. Not this man- their hands smacked together and he shook it roughly. “Lieutenant Hank Anderson. Connor and I will be looking over this case. It’s pretty open shut, but do make sure to give Connor your honest statement. He’ll know otherwise.” Gavin laughed softly at that, then looked to Lucy.

“Mind if we head in the other room? It’s probably driving his nose nuts in here.” There was a brief sigh of relief from Connor at the sentence.

“Go go.”

Hank said nothing more as Gavin led Connor back. “This is the room the two came out of. I was between feedings- heard her yell, came in and he was trying to fucking kill her.”

Connor looked much more at ease now, his shoulders relaxing and rubbing his nose. “He’s a raven blood. From everyone else’s statement, and his emotions, we think he was going to try and return her into a vampire.”

“ _Damn._ Good thing I stepped in then?” Connor’s eyes landed on him quickly, worry overflowing them.

“Yes, but also, please don’t make a habit of that! I know you’re strong, but I don’t want to see you getting hurt.” Gavin laughed at the worry, taking Connor’s hands and leading him back to his room. 

When the door closed behind Connor, he looked back, hesitating. “Connor- Connor ease up. I know you’re on the job, but just relax with me for a moment. No one’s going to hurt me. You wanna sit, just- let your mind unwind for a moment?”

“I- I should be getting back to work though.” Gavin rolled his eyes, and slowly looped his arms around the other’s neck, smiling brightly when Connor’s hands rested on his sides.

“Just- ten minutes with me. How’s everything been without your sire?”

He saw the moment his eyes fell, and then felt Connor bring him in close. He expected a bite when the vampire’s nose met his skin, but there was nothing but soft licks. “Connor?”

“Smell good… Just, one minute of this… _Please_.”

“Baby I’d let you do this for hours. Let’s- sit though.” He guided the other to the chair and sat him down, immediately crawling into his lap as did. It was a good five or so minutes before Connor spoke up.

“It’s so confusing.”

“Tell me how.” Was it selfish- to just want to hear the other talk? To want his time, his attention? To want to be the one to hold him now, to chase away every inch of his sire’s influence. Even if it was, he didn’t care. He wanted Connor to come to him and him alone with this weight on his shoulders. He didn’t realize how thyme wrapped around them both.

“I thought I would be lost. That, without Amanda, without the purpose to serve her and the humans she tells me to, that I would be nothing. When they killed her, I thought I should have felt… Something. She raised me, hell, she was all I ever knew for years besides Nines…”

“But you felt nothing, right? Or did you feel happy?”

“I felt _ridiculously_ happy. Like I was frozen for a long time, stuck being nothing but friends with everyone I met, but no one actually caring for me. Nothing but a pretty doll to be dressed up and shown off- I hated it. Hated her. I could finally see Nines again.”

Connor pulled back, but Gavin surged forwards, this time sucking on Connor’s neck. “Keep going,” he mumbled against the skin, feeling how Connor held on tighter, his chest moving faster.

“Then I realized- I wasn’t lost at all. Fowler promoted me to detective the day after she died, told me I was damn good at this, told me to take some of the basic courses and join Hank permanently, if I wanted. And I did! I became a member of the DPD! And Hank- Hank’s being a good friend- and if I’m honest, a better mentor. He didn’t get mad when I asked to stay with him, even now that it’s no longer the agreement. Told me I can move out whenever, if I ever want to.” Gavin’s relief had to be palpable, especially this close, but Connor didn’t comment on it.

He still had the urge to not let go. Keep Connor close. Kiss and suck and nip back, completely _unravel_ Connor. “He doesn’t even mind that I come here. And that’s the- that’s the thing I find the most… Confusing. Is that I can’t stop coming back to you. I don’t even think of my own brother as much as I think of you.”

Gavin sucked _hard_ , enjoying the gasp it got from him. “I think of you a lot too,” he said, after leaving the faintest blue mark. That always amused him- vampires bruised in blues and purples because of the borrowed blood. “Hell, every week. Every time I get bit. Every _day_. It’s hard not to, when I know I could be in your arms, like this. No one’s ever treated me like you have.”

Connor looked at him, and for a moment they just held each other’s gaze. “You deserve to be treated like that. You’re pretty amazing, Gavin.” His heart felt like it was racing at that.

“You barely know me.”

“But I’d like to. I- don’t know if it’s a rule here, but I get off at six-”

“Pick me up. I’m done here at five, I’ll wait here for you.”

Connor blinked, and Gavin chuckled as he probably wasn’t expecting that. But then he pulled the other close and kissed him again, swallowing whatever he was about to say. Connor tasted like coffee and iron, and his mouth was always warm. It was an amusing taste, but a better feeling, as hands tangled in his hair and pulled him in.

This time when Gavin pulled away, he made a line down Connor’s jaw to his neck, and found the not quite faded mark of his sire. He sucked right over it, rocking his hips while he did to feel the heat course through Connor’s body. The little moan of his name was even better, and Gavin wanted to hear more of it. “Hey Connor, how long we been in here?”

He pulled back, running his hands down the other’s chest. His hickey now laid over the mark, a deep purple claim. Connor was _his_ now. It wasn’t official, something ached to make it so, but it was something.

“About fifteen- shit I need to go.”

“In another five. Come here and kiss me.” He pulled the other back into another kiss, which Connor readily melted into, and rocked his hips until he felt the ever pleasant bulge of heat. Most vampires hated when Gavin squirmed, forced him still or ‘punished’ him by not fully healing the mark. Despite knowing what they came in here for, they still viewed the fey here with upturned noses for letting so many drink from them.

Connor always responded, warm and eager and Gavin needed it like he needed air. The kiss turned heated and messy as they both got riled up, but then a harsh knocking stopped everything. “Con? You in there? We got to head back, that Lucy girl said you might be feeding and I know you hate me seeing your fangs so-”

Gavin chuckled too lowly for the human to hear as Connor turned pink, moving off his lap and holding his hand out to help Connor up. “ _You were going to be fed off of,_ ” he purred lowly, licking his lips and watching as Connor’s breath hitched.

He tried to straighten himself up, and Gavin took pity and flattened his hair. “Tonight?” “Of course, I’ll see you tonight Gavin.” One last, chaste, wonderfully chaste and adorable, cheek kiss and Connor opened the door. “Sorry Hank! Gavin and I are good friends, we were catching up.” _‘Damn right we were.’_

“Right, well let’s get going then. We gotta file the charges.” As they left, Lucy stepped in, her nose twitching as the sugary sweet scent of cinnamon filling the room, leaves branching from the ceiling even.

“Looks like you had fun… You’re well on your way to leaving us then, I assume.” As Connor turned back, smiling brightly and waving, he waved back to him with his own smile.

“Eh, maybe I’ll stick around to guard the place… But yeah, I think… I think I wanna go exclusive with him.”

“About time darling. I wish you luck, he seems very sweet, and he’ll be in good hands.” Gavin ignored how red made his face much more shimmering.

“Damn right.”


	22. (T)God knows I tried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is another songfic but I cut out like half the song because I was tired of reading 'god knows I tried'.

> _Sometimes I wake up in the morning..._
> 
> _To red, blue, and yellow skies._
> 
> _It's so crazy I could drink it like tequila sunrise._
> 
> _Put on that Hotel California,_
> 
> _Dance around like I'm insane._
> 
> _I feel free when I see no one..._
> 
> _And nobody knows my name._

Really, he should’ve expected this. Everything was going alright. He had an amazing father figure, who was dating their boss, so it was like going from one horrible mother figure to two dads. One was strict, keeping him from being dumb. The other encouraged him to be alive. He was alive, so alive.

He had friends too. Jericho, at the DPD, even some others he met through public appearances. Markus, Simon, North, Josh- he’d lay down his life for them, and they’d do the same. Hell, Simon told him of when he had offered his regulator to Markus, and he’d do the same for Connor.

Most of all, he had someone he _loved_. He loved that stupid detective that was loud and aggressive to hide the fact he was scared of letting people close. He loved the detective who refused to apologize for being suspicious of Connor but apologized for hitting him and everything else. He loved the detective who pulled Connor close when he was stressed, out of everyone’s sight, and told him to stop being perfect.

He loved that man who again and again found ways to show his own love back, even before they dated. He showed he cared in the smallest gestures that meant so much more.

But now Connor was laying here, looking up as red and yellow clashed into blue. Errors blocked his coding, and smoke filled his nose. The sound of ringing drowned out the music he had been listening to from the store across the street. He laid on the ground, assessing the damage, but the reports were too extensive. So he tried to look at himself. People scrambled around, trying to get help for each other, but not once did he hear his own name called.

Right. He went out alone to get everyone gifts. And then someone was… They were doing something. Something smelled strongly like chemicals. Something he worked against. He couldn’t think, the ringing was so loud.

> _God knows I lived._
> 
> _God knows I died._
> 
> _God knows I begged._
> 
> _Begged, borrowed and cried._

Then he saw it. A timer- in the top of his vision. Ten minutes, nine now, counting down until shutdown. He looked around, and then saw the cause of all this. In the burning embers of the building, packed baggies of something red and crystalline. Of course, he’d come across this without Hank nearby.

He called it in, heard dispatch in his head, the only clear voice. “ _Officer down!_ ” Right, his promotion. Not even just an officer, but a detective. He had to go through the tests and the exams, but he passed. He passed and he was supposed to go into work tomorrow and sign up for the secret santa.

He was supposed to go in and kiss Gavin on the cheek, hand him a coffee. Tell him not to do anything he wouldn’t do. Connor messaged everyone he could, the address, the timer, but not Gavin. He couldn’t scare him like this. He’d make it. Surely, someone would help him.

Going over the damage, he noticed his right leg was completely fucked, and glass in his side would make it near impossible for him to move. It was thirium loss, pure and simple, that triggered the shutdown. Something used in the creation of his destruction now spilling onto the sidewalk.

The cold air seeped into him, reminding him of other times he had died. Of the graveyard that used to be in the zen garden, when he had that. Of the fact he still kind of hated snow. How he begged to make it out of the last cold hellscape he was in.

He remembered spending a month with Jericho, after the revolution, seeking forgiveness from all those he wronged. It wasn’t an immediate thing, he put effort into building that back up. Cried with those who had lost someone.

> _God knows I loved._
> 
> _God know I lied._
> 
> _God knows I lost._
> 
> _God gave me life._
> 
> _And god knows I tried..._
> 
> _God knows I tried._

Several people got back to him, telling him to hold on, they were coming. The problem was, there was no way to hold on. Thirium leaked out of him regardless, and the timer dipped down. He was afraid.

[ _Hey is everything good? Just got woken up with officer down calls._ ]

Connor swallowed, the tears he felt rolling down his face.

[ _Go back to sleep. We both know you’ll be cranky in the morning if you don’t._ ]

[ _yeah yeah. Love you dipshit, get some stasis in tonight._ ]

[ _I love you too, Gav._ ]

It hurt. It hurt so much, the fear of not knowing whether those would be his last words.

But he didn’t want Gavin to hurt like this. Once already did they have to have the god of all androids revive him, Gavin personally dragging Connor there. He remembered that day, the fear in Gavin’s face, meeting Elijah again, and the Chloes. Meeting his successor, who was terrified of _him_ when the man walked like a tank.

He wasn’t sure if Elijah could save him again. Not from this. It wouldn’t hurt to ask.

[ _Mr. Kamski?_ ]

[ _Connor? You are aware that you can call me Elijah, I mean, you are fucking my brother._ ]

If he had the energy he would’ve laughed. It wasn’t obvious the two were related until you heard or saw them talk, and then they both had the same penchant for cursing and getting to the point.

[ _Is there still a backup of myself at your place, from the last time I was there?_ ]

[ _Yes? It needs updating, because it’s been three months, but why?_ ]

[ _Is there any chance to upload to it from where I’m at? It’s kind of important._ ]

There was a pause, only a few seconds, before he let out a choked sound at the next text. The ringing was slowly stopping as people were starting to look in the wreckage of the building.

[ _Have you told Gavin?_ ]

[ _I told him I loved him._ ]

[ _Try uploading to the server I sent you. There’s no guarantee this will work._ ]

He did, and he was given a percentage, everything needing to figure out what needed sent over and what didn’t. So he’d forget some cases. They were closed, they didn’t matter. Or he’d forget some shows and movies. He could watch them again. He just needed to be the Connor Gavin knew.

> _So let there be light._
> 
> _Let there be light._
> 
> _Light up my life._
> 
> _Light up my life._

As both wound down, and soon too the messaging feature, different things started to turn off. No longer could he feel his body, as it laid in the cold. No longer could he smell the smoke or the wet streets. He couldn’t taste the thirium in his mouth. All that was left was the sound of sirens closing in, and that too started to fade.

[ 2:35 ]

[ >>> Progress: 95% ]

He let the lights of the ambulance and the cop cars blind him, as the minutes ticked down.

[ 0:14 ]

[ >>> Transfer Complete ]

As he registered his body in motion, he let himself smile. He’d see Gavin again. This wouldn’t be the end.

> _God knows I tried._


	23. (T)Look at me I exist

When he was young, he went into dance.

It wasn’t the manliest thing, but with his half brother a genius, and his skills in art leaving a lot to be desired, he found muse in moving with music. As he grew up, he learned to sing, to act, to play his parts perfectly and move with meaning.

Gavin learned young that if he wanted _anything_ in his life, he’d have to put himself out there and take it. From his parent’s attention, winning dance competitions and scoring lead roles just to get eyes on him, to his friends, doing whatever he could to gain loyalty.

Even when he left highschool, not the highest in his grade but with trophies under his arms, this didn’t stop. His brother had created something amazing, and he gave up hopes of his parents noticing him like they did the _inventor_. So he vied for the affection and attention of a lover, even when it turned sharp and painful.

In college, in police academy, he did better. He worked hard to be the top in his class for criminal law, and he refused to let anyone slow him down. He made a good friend, dragged her with him, and when he realized the affection he was getting was ruining him, it hurt. It hurt to leave, to lose that attention, but he did. Then he graduated, at the top, but to no avail. His brother, already successful, had everyone’s attention, and he didn’t even _hear_ from his family when he sent images of his awards.

Except from his brother. He appreciated that at least— that neither of them let this shit sour the time they had together. He had him to talk to, and thank, as he helped him to invest in stocks with his company. They kept in touch, not as much as Gavin would’ve liked, but they did try.

That thought process never stopped though. He got into the precinct he wanted fresh out of graduation. He started his job, devoted his time to it. Put in the overtime, did things around the community, hell, he even ran with the SWAT team for two years. To get a reputation with that Captain as well as prove his worth, in any situation. He was proud of the lieutenant when he was promoted, and no matter what, he gave it his all.

It wasn’t enough. Sure, his captains had nothing but high praise for him, and even after the death of his first partner, he was well respected for his own work. But to get higher in the hierarchy, he couldn’t hold back. He stepped on some other rookies’ toes, climbing towards the top to be noticed. It left him respected, but not liked. He had, by the time he turned thirty and cashed out on those stocks, two friends to celebrate with. 

Then Hank fell. And he fell _hard_. Gavin’s reliability made eyes turn to him when the lieutenant continued to slack off, _for years_. He took it in stride, but the stress of the job made him difficult to deal with at his best and impossible at worst. He pushed away those who tried to get close, and sought only to do his job and do it right. He didn’t lose the will to get promoted, but Hank’s position as lieutenant was secured through legacy and sympathy.

So he focused on doing his best and making sure he was, on paper and in person, the best fit for any job. Regardless of the personality built up from years and years of being looked over. 

Then Connor came around.

Gavin wouldn’t lie. He felt downright _insulted_. The cheerful, walking forensics lab, already more human than any of the other officers, and from what he remembered, _damn_ good at negotiation, was assigned… To Hank. Fucking. Anderson. The man who came in smelling like booze most days, or wet dog on others. The man who slacked so hard his life was _hell_ for the last five years.

The man who never once looked at Gavin for five years and asked for a partner, despite the offers, the want, to help him back up.

Yeah, he was insulted and _pissed_. The thing walked into their interrogation and commanded the stage. Got results from the deviant without letting him self-destruct. Hank stood up for _him_ , pointing a gun at Gavin, _again_. 

He hated both of them. So what if it was childish to make their lives hell? Cyberlife’s solution to the inevitable was to send someone on _his_ turf, and he’d make it painfully fucking clear that the officers here weren’t guinea pigs or test subjects. He blocked Connor at every turn, doing everything he could to make the other feel something.

He was good at that- making others notice him. He was proud of every little red circle, every confused look. Knew the fucker was probably trying to figure out why his programs weren’t working against him.

Then he caught Connor, examining the case despite the clear and loud statement of his own departure to Cyberlife he wasn’t obeying. Hank’s cover may have distracted Perkins, and honestly, good for the old fuck, but Gavin wasn’t about to let the hunter go peacefully.

He followed him, confronted him, and figured out his side. _‘I know how to stop the deviants!’_ It wasn’t fast enough to keep him from finding Jericho, but he would sure as hell try to stop him from being the one to march there. Except he could stop nothing, and the other took him out, not even as much as spending a moment to _talk_.

His comments bounced off the machine, and the world fell to black.

Weeks later, Gavin was sitting in a new era, drinking his coffee as returning police models, now officers, filtered in and settled into work. Like nothing changed. They were easy going and talking with the few that would talk with them. One brought his paperwork over, and he could feel how many sets of eyes landed on him. “Set it down… As the only officer with seniority here besides Collins, have you been assigned yet?”

Hank had to take a leave, not even Fowler able to secure his job after that mess. He wasn’t fired, but he sure wasn’t showing his face here for a week. And Collins, the shit, he got the fuck out of working for a whole month. He hit some ice while on patrol, had some sprain. Paid medical leave.

Either way, it left him and Fowler with the only ranks to pull, and Fowler was busy enough. Gavin had the list of names pulled up that came back. Which- was fucking relieving they all could settle on names. “No, Detective Reed. Fowler’s been-”

“Busy. Trust me, I’ve noticed.”

He took over, as he was used to, without being told, just made sure everyone partnered up. Some people he didn’t assign to humans, the officers left partnerless because he couldn’t trust them as far as he could throw them. Paired those up, one human he didn’t particularly trust being assigned a partner with a stern word as he couldn’t avoid it. “ _Either_ of you,” he said, glaring at the man who glared right back, “start any shit out there that gets back on the DPD negatively, and it won’t be Fowler’s boot you’ll be fucking worried about, _got it?_ This is your job, not your social media page. Got nothing nice to say, then keep your mouth shut? Do I make myself clear?”

Thankfully, _this_ was the first dumbass of the day, stepping right up to him. “Where do _you_ get off telling us what to do Reed!” He was loud too, everyone stopping their assigned tasks to look over. Gavin’s smile turned wicked, setting his coffee down and crossing his arms.

“I get off on being the only remaining detective, the closest person to sergeant, and the only thing saving your ass from an overworked and overstressed Captain’s wrath. If _any_ of you have a fucking problem with it, take it up with the captain, go ahead! Make my fucking week.” He held out his arms, smirking as everyone looked away. For a second.

He knew he had all of their attention, even when they weren’t looking. For a moment, it felt good. Then the prick ruined that moment, groaning before mumbling a _‘come on’_ to his new partner. Gavin held her back, looking at her seriously. “He starts anything, you come to me. I’ll take care of him- he’ll be _wishing_ he had the janitor’s job.” She nodded, and he sent her off, looking to the list of people.

Then he looked up, and grinned just a bit. “Well- get back to work everyone.” The bustle resumed, and Gavin sat down. Applying for sergeant didn’t seem half bad now.

For two weeks it went like this. Gavin didn’t get a day off, between keeping Fowler from losing it and his cases that he picked up from Anderson and Collin’s absence. Holidays were nothing more than a phone call to his brother, and apology for not making it. Understanding of why, as he called from his desk on the eve of a new year. 

Hank _and_ Connor came back the next week. Gavin felt stressed, felt every minute of weeks of work drag him lower. When they came back in, easy conversation, he didn’t even notice. “ _Derick! Howards!_ ” He tapped his foot, not noticing his new company as the android and his new partner scrambled to his desk.

“Wilson and his partner called off. You two, go patrol their area. Careful, there’s been anti-android signs popping up over there.”

“Yes sir!” Gavin shoo’d them off, grabbing his tablet and heading to the big screen to observe who was where. 

He was proud to say he didn’t jump at the voice. “ _Damn_ Reed! You gon’ jump in my grave that quickly too?” Without turning, he let himself smirk just a bit.

“And get stuck in there with you? No fucking thanks.” He turned once he reassigned some people to patrol a different area, noting the rise in assaults there. Looking over them both, he held his head high as Connor eyed him. “Took you fucking long enough. If Fowler had any hair it’d be gray by now.”

“What can I say? Sometimes someone just has a face that’s begging to be punched.” Hank held out his hand, and for a moment Gavin wanted to riot. Ask him what right he had to come back in here and take everything he worked for.

But he didn’t, he handed the tablet over. “You’d know a thing or two about that, wouldn’t you, _lieutenant_? Get back to work- shit’s changed, no thanks to you two.” With that he walked past them both, knowing all eyes were on him.

Say what you wanted, but he did good. He had to have done good- they were the best precinct again. Even with Anderson back, people came to _him_. Even when he snapped, told them they were fucking idiots for continuing to drive, assured them they did the right thing by staying quiet, they came to _him_. He felt good. He felt noticed. He took his exam and waited for the results, getting back into his own work, partnerless and eager.

It didn’t last long. Even with the promotion, with Fowler’s proud acknowledgment, the promise to give him more leads, it went back to how it was. Connor was loved, and Anderson was a legend. With Connor’s help, Anderson was back to his old self, and everyone loved him.

They loved Anderson. They respected Gavin. They’d listen, and now rarely, would turn to him if he was the last choice… But the time he spent keeping this place afloat drifted away.

It cut deeper than any knife. He didn’t lash out, he withdrew. Took his days off to spend alone. Slowly, he realized, he would never be noticed. There would always be someone better. Someone wanted, where he wasn’t. He sat down on the roof, letting the bitter cold of a Detroit February sink into his being. He didn’t hear the door open, but he felt the arm around him, suddenly warm where everything was cold. He looked up, noticing brown eyes, now so alive when he remembered them being so calculating.

He was saying something, but the wind was loud. Instead he let himself be pulled away, rubbing his nose as they stepped into the staircase. “Gavin! You’re core temperature is too low, please, allow me to-”

“Stop fucking coddling me, I’m not Hank,” he hissed, pulling his coat closer to himself as he realized his hands were ice cold. Then Connor took them in his own, gently warming them.

“Please, I wouldn’t try to coddle you. You’re completely _stupid_ for sitting up here for near half an hour. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Whatever you think I did, it was my evil half-brother.”

“You don’t have a brother.”

“As far as _you_ know.” The banter came easily. Hell, Connor _spoke_ easily now, emotions in his voice and expressions on his face. Gavin could tell he was worried, beneath all their teasing.

“As far as I know, finding you up there alone, freezing, is… I didn’t like that, at least. Do you _want_ to talk about it?”

With that, Gavin pulled his hands away. “Do you actually _care_? You got the lieutenant, you got the job. I’m fine. I’m doing mine. Why were you even looking for me.” Wall after wall, he didn’t want to acknowledge why he just didn’t move. He didn’t want to acknowledge how tired he felt, how invisible. Hell, he doubted anyone would’ve noticed.

The thoughts hurt. They spun like sharp ice in his mind. He pressed his palm into his one eye socket as his shoulders moved erratically with his breathing. “Gavin… Of course I care. You’re the best detective here, and you have been under an incredible amount of stress… Please, come talk with me? I’ll buy you a drink.”

“That would be nice,” he replied, then snickered as the old musical’s song played in his head. It took Connor a moment before he rolled his eyes.

“Let me offer you some free advice-”

“We… Are not singing _Hamilton_ in the staircase.”

“Fair enough.”

When they got downstairs, no one even looked over. Hank was busy at his terminal, some new face beside him. He had to do a double take as the guy looked like Connor if Connor went to the gym. But then they were walking out. “Shit, I gotta-”

“Already taken care of. Thirty minutes, you and me, where to?” Gavin shrugged, and pulled up a familiar cafe that had some thirium based drinks. They rode there in silence, and sat in a corner booth away from everyone.

“You didn’t have to pay Connor, I could’ve-”

“Shut up- I wanted to. Now. Talk. Why were you up there?”

“Why do you _care_? You have no reason to care about me.”

Connor winced at that. “I have every reason to care about you. Gavin, I- wait, am I allowed? I’m so used to using everyone’s-”

“Yeah yeah, whatever, Gavin’s fine we’re not at work.”

“Alright… I care because I owe you an apology- one I can’t give you if you’re a Freezie Police Pop on the roof.” It took a few moments, but Gavin snickered, full out laughing quietly when he couldn’t hold it back.

“Trust me, I wasn’t trying to be. Just- lost track of time… Everything felt pleasantly numb…” He looked out the window where snow now pelted the streets.

“What were you trying to numb?”

“Everything… I worked so hard Connor, not that you or Hank _fucking_ noticed, and then you two came back. And it- was like I was invisible again. And I’m fucking tired of being the loud bitch of the DPD just to be… seen…” Gavin swallowed, an unsteady smile to his features as he looked back to Connor. He found it ironic he heard a cover of _‘Unsteady’_ playing from the speakers.

“I just want people to notice I exist, to let me know everything I’ve done- it’s been worth it. Because it doesn’t fucking feel like it… What, didn’t expect any of that?” He saw the red LED, the slight open state of his mouth.

Then it clicked shut and Connor launched across the table, still thankfully clear, and pulled Gavin in… For a tight hug that left him confused and a little breathless. “You’ve never been invisible to me.”

They stayed like that until the barista cleared her throat and Gavin went red, nudging Connor back. When she left, Connor continued. “I was looking for you for two reasons. Firstly… To apologize. I- I had a very limited set of control on how I behaved before deviancy. I could’ve easily handcuffed you. I could’ve explained instead of just taking over. There were many things I could’ve changed-”

“Connor, let me stop you. The _fuck_ are you saying sorry for? I was a dick to you. I wanted to see you emote. I wanted to see you so distracted you got nothing done. I wanted you to deviate just to knock my teeth down my throat and realize you were on the wrong side. You didn’t have to stop that first guy from self-destructing, there was no point to it, he told you everything. But you did.”

“You are… Very observant.”

“I’m a fucking detective that actually does his job… But while we’re on the topic I guess… I’m sorry, too. Because I could’ve distracted you in other ways that didn’t involve being a dick. I just did what I did with everyone, and in the end, you knocked my ass out for it… Don’t expect more apologies.”

“I’m surprised the word ‘ _sorry_ ’ is even in your vocabulary.”

Gavin barked out a laugh, flipping the other off though it was playfully. “Cute, but fuck off… What was the other reason you were looking for me?”

“Well uh,” Connor paused, and Gavin noticed how he fiddled with his straw. “Circling back to you being a good detective… As in, the best in Central… Gavin, I know you have an aversion to partners, but- would you consider taking me as your partner?” Gavin blinked hard, glad he wasn’t drinking his coffee.

“What?”

“Well you saw RK, my successor, he’s Hank’s partner now, because lieutenant and also because I live with Hank and kind of got adopted by the man… Needless to say, we don’t want internal affairs up everyone’s ass, so I’m currently partnerless. However, I wasn’t designed to work on my own- I _can_ , but I would much rather prefer a partner. And I was talking to Hank about this, and he wasn’t confident you’d say yes, but he did tell me you’d be the best choice. You can keep up-”

“Holy shit shut up.” Gavin groaned, a smile on his face despite the noise. “Basically, you don’t want to work at an officer’s level and Collins is coasting to retirement.”

Connor smiled at that, sheepish and LED yellow. “Yes, yes… And I want to work with _you_. I was shown many memories from the androids here, of how you took charge. Of how you threatened those officers… Of how stressed you were but you didn’t cave… I want to work with the Gavin Reed that somehow carried a precinct through sheer determination and did so without a single award… I want to be with you.”

It took a few moments, and Gavin’s raised eyebrow for Connor to correct himself. “Not in that way! Not that I wouldn’t, but I mean, I’ve never even heard you flirt with anyone, let alone a guy, let alone an _android_ , and I wasn’t even sure you’d forgive me for-”

Gavin placed his hand over the other’s mouth for a moment. “I can hear you overthinking. Yes, I date guys. And yes, I’d date a guy android. And _technically_ , you could consider this a damn date. I know it’s not one, so don’t freak… If you forgive me, I forgive you.” He pulled his hand back, and Connor smiled brightly.

Gavin felt kinda special having that look on him and him alone, and looked away from the bright smile. “Alright then… Partners, then we can work on something more?” Finishing his drink, he sighed, before nodding.

“Yeah, sure. Partners, then something more… Connor.”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for looking for me.”


	24. (T)Sticks and Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Day 22! And another songfic!
> 
> This song is Everything Is Temporary(Sticks and stones) by Cavetown!

> _Don't fall down tonight, you're alive and so am I._
> 
> _Hold on, we might hot-wire this old car-_
> 
> _And drive._

Blue blood was horrible. Even when it evaporated, you felt it on your hands. Gavin hated the feeling of it, caked on his hands, as he watched technicians try desperately to keep him alive. “Ga-ah-vin…”

“Just hold on baby, we’ll get out of here soon enough.” He gave them directions for the repair center closest to his brother’s house, having received the call when he messaged Connor.

It hurt that Connor tried to lie to him. It hurt that his own brother was going to cover for him. But what hurt the most was the uncertainty that any of it mattered. They stopped his timer at two seconds, basically putting him in a bin of thirium to let his components keep running. So his lover laid in blood, broken and battered.

> _Sticks and stones they say but we don’t have bones inside our brains._

Nothing hurt more than the uncertainty of it all. Connor was taken to a room, and he followed until he wasn’t allowed. He watched Elijah go past, and a couple of the girls that were helping. He would’ve been better if none of them said anything to him, left him in the waiting room to hope.

“We’ll try our best, Gavin. He’s strong, he can handle this.”

He sat in the quiet, no one else there besides a sleeping AX400. He fidgeted, twisted his shirt, looked at his hands. The blood evaporated, leaving nothing but a gross film in their wake, a gritty, barely there feeling.

> _If bones are the walls between you and I then I feel pretty tempted…_
> 
> _To beat myself with sticks and stones anyway._

He thought of the most obvious difference between them. How this could be Connor someday. Except Gavin lacked the chance to come back. Gavin was all too fragile, and it hurt him to think of the scars on his body as being marks of his future. He would leave Connor one day, and not come back.

If it hurt like this, would Connor be able to handle it? He wished he was an android, just to give Connor that assurance that he wouldn’t be gone within the hour. He wished Connor was here to hold him, to assure him these thoughts were in the far away future.

> _I got a ray gun in my bag, a treasure map under my hat,_
> 
> _And I'll never miss a head shot or a dotted line._

Gavin was a lot of things. But perfect wasn’t one of them. He knew Connor wasn’t perfect either, just a goofy android that was doing his best. Sure he was better at so many things, but at some things he struggled. He helped him, he tried to help him, and Connor returned the favor. Neither of them were perfect, but they were good together.

Others started showing up, Hank, Markus, and Simon showing up together. Gavin stood, holding his hands up. “I don’t know anything, they’re still working on him.” There were no swirls of red, but instead three looks of concern, even if they were each different. Hank’s was obvious, a dotted line against a blank sheet of paper. He rubbed his shoulder, made him sit and updated him.

Markus and Simon remained quiet, and when Hank was calmed, he made them talk too. There were barely any other injuries, human or android, and the perpetrators were caught quickly.

> _I've spent way too much time thinkin' about- dreamin' about life._
> 
> _To miss the point, which is just listen..._

When the doors opened, Elijah standing there with his glasses smudged and blue on his face, Gavin was the first one up. Hank and the others stayed back, surprised by the creator’s appearance. “Eli- please tell me he’s alright?”

“Depends on your definition of it. He’s alive, but he’s in pieces. So much of him is unsalvageable in this state. I’ve already started the girls on another body, but that will take- a good week or so to fully prepare.” Gavin swallowed, watching how Elijah canvassed the room.

“So what does this mean?”

“Essentially, Connor is on life support. I’ll be taking him to my place, where I can make sure the timer doesn’t come back up, and nothing malfunctions. However, there was an upload to my servers. If nothing else, there _is_ a guarantee he’ll come back, I just don’t have a definite time of when, or how much of him.”

Markus finally stood up, walking over to the two. “Can we speak with him now?”

“I’m afraid not. If I wake him, he could self-destruct from the stress. I will get word out to all of you when he’s ready for visitors.” Gavin listened as they talked about contact, and plans to continue, Hank joining, but he felt numbed. He sat back down.

A week without his bright smiles, his laughter, his comments. Gavin didn’t know if he could handle that. It felt like too much, too much time, too much silence, too much of Connor not being there. Too much uncertainty. Too-

“Hey kid, let’s go,” Hank’s voice was calm, warm, _concerned._

“Let’s go?”

“Yeah, you’re coming with me. We both know we’re going to be a mess over this, we’re dumbass humans, so you’re coming with me. Grab your cat and bring him over too.”

“Her. Doa’s a her. And- fuck- sure. Alright. Definitely beats drinking alone.”

“That’s the spirit!” They left together, Hank didn't let him linger. He showed up that night, Collins taking over the open and shut case, and together they sat, the cat, dog, Hank, him.

It wasn’t a quiet week in the least. They threw themselves into work, and Gavin checked in with Elijah once a day, updating everyone else.

He was still at Hank’s when the door rang, taking over Connor’s room while he was gone. He’d just come in from walking Sumo not even ten minutes ago, Hank cooking something because Gavin ‘ _was a fucking disaster waiting to happen_ ’, as the old man put it. He walked over, opening it and readying himself for whatever bullshit the old man’s neighbors got into.

Only to see a bright smile, warm cinnamon eyes, little freckles highlighted by blue. “Hey Ga- _vi!_ ” He wasn’t allowed to finish his sentence as Gavin wrapped around him, dragging him into a desperate kiss.

He heard the chuckle behind him, and Elijah mumbling something that was supposed to be a goodbye, but he ignored them.

“We have a lot to talk about.”

“I’m listening…” They were both told to get inside before the dog got out, and they broke the embrace to do that. But Gavin kept a hand in Connor’s, determinedly not letting go.

> _'Cause I've listened for mine._


	25. (T)How did we end up like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 of the Vamp!connor au!

“ _Fuck!_ ”

Gavin groaned as he fended off the prick that had cornered him. Thyme whipped around him, cutting into the vampire repeatedly, his healing factor unable to outpace the onslaught of sharp whips. But Gavin was running out of room.

The vampire, a claw from the looks of him, was obviously hungry. His face was ghaunt and his body was ice cold. Gavin just happened to be walking home from his other job, the bar closing down for the night, when this guy grabbed _him_ instead of the several others he knew were heading home.

“Buddy come on, don’t make me embarrass you. Go get a baggie of blood or something, you’re only going to get hurt.”

He stepped forward again and Gavin’s back met an iron fence. _‘Wonderful.’_ He looked around, knowing he could use thyme to propel him up, but he was getting tired. He had a stronger use of his abilities than most fey, the golden marks gleaming in the light, but he was draining them trying to keep this guy at bay. With the sun gone, he didn’t have much longer.

He didn’t need to have much longer, as a familiar voice yelled from the main road, and a blur slammed into the guy. Followed by another blur, and Gavin realized dully that two more vampires joined in the alley. His thyme went from offensive to defensive, twirling around him with enough speed to leave sound.

When the fight actually started, he recognized both the figures. “Connor!” The sweet vampire he’d been dating for over three months now looked over, checking over the other two’s fight before running to Gavin. He dropped the protection immediately, letting Connor wrap him in his arms.

“I could smell your thyme from miles away. Me and Nines ran over here as fast we could.” Connor’s nose pressed into his skin, licking repeatedly and Gavin shuddered, noting the sweeter smell the action elicited.

“You did good. This guy was difficult even for me. Go help your brother though, I’ll feed you both after.” He pushed, Connor pulling away with a nod before baring his teeth and hissing. It was amazing to watch the two fight. Connor’s speed and his brother’s strength quickly out-done the one frantic claw. When the man was down, Gavin’s thyme shot out, mingling with cinnamon branches as he dropped a few berries into some dirt he had on him for emergencies.

He met Nines once. He was a big, quiet guy. Took his claw blood and made himself even stronger. He was Connor’s brother through familiarity alone, sharing the same face, skin, nose- but their eyes and their build set them apart. “Good hold… I called Hank in when Connor went feral at your scent, the cops are on their way now.”

Despite the blood on him, from ripping the other fucker a new one on both his arms, Nines straightened out his shirt and flattened his hair. Even Connor had a good coating, down his jaw and neck. “Yeah well, it won’t last long. Unlike you two, night time is only good for me indoors. But it won’t be night time long, and I doubt this fucker has any fey blood in him.”

They exchanged looks, then Nines grinned, his larger set of fangs and the extra sharp teeth making him look like a were almost. “There’s a perfectly safe dumpster right there. Trash like him should go where it belongs.” _Damn_ , he was glad he got the softer guy now, lifting the vampire with effort. The shake in his arms didn’t go unnoticed, Connor immediately wrapping around him, but he dumped the guy in and for extra measure wrapped it with tree limbs.

He felt Connor suck on his neck, causing the branches to bloom with leaves, and whimpered. “ _Connor_ , not here… You and Nines both need blood, but not- ah fuck- here…” He couldn’t control himself with Connor, and they had barely made it out of last month’s feeding without stripping and going at it right there. Thankfully, Hank coming home put an end to that.

He’d lose it when he got Connor into his place. “And not in front of me either. I appreciate the offer to feed me, but I got my needed fey blood last week. I’ll see if my one coworker is up for something… I have a feeling Connor would bite _me_ if I tried feeding from you.” The affirmative hum from behind him had him laughing softly.

“Alright, you good then?”

“Hah, between us, he barely got a hit in. Thank you though.” The man’s nose twitched, and he turned as Gavin focused on the officer and Hank that ran into the alley.

“Alright, where is the guy? Con, you good?” Connor finally pulled back, but kept his arms around Gavin.

“I am Hank- he’s in the dumpster. Gav, can you handle him until they get the cuffs on him?” It wasn’t even minutes, but he agreed, even if it started to burn a little. He lifted the man back out, who looked resigned to his fate, and the officer moved forward to cuff and muzzle him.

The minute he could let go, he slumped a bit, Connor bracing him up. “Alright, let’s go over this again. You three have a lot of explaining to do.”

By the time everything was covered and they were free to go, the sun had risen, but Gavin still felt tired. “Con, you got work today?” The vamp looked at Hank, who shook his head.

“Not today. I’m only here because Connor called me in. Or rather, Nines did. Nines, you good?” Gavin smiled as the man turned his fatherly gaze to the other, and Nines immediately went still under it. Soft voice, mumbled, looking away.

“Yes Hank. I’ll probably go see Adrian at work…” Hank snickered, and it was something that Gavin wasn’t in on, didn’t need to be in on. He was so tired.

“Cool, then can I steal this son and go home? I’ve been working all night and after that fight, I’m beat.” Hank nodded, shooing them off, and Gavin didn’t wait for whatever he mumbled. He took Connor’s hand and walked out of the alley, leading them down the road. No one even blinked too much at the blood on him, the scent mostly overpowered by the thyme Gavin let off.

Connor said nothing for the walk, and Gavin stopped when they got outside his place. It was a small place, an apartment, mostly full of other fey, the small community garden area alive and well. “You sure you wanna-”

“How did we end up like this?” Connor’s voice was soft, but so confused. The warmth of the early morning sun warmed them both. “Not that- I’m complaining. I’m not. You are amazing and sweet and- so much more than I deserve… I’m just- I’m just a barely experienced, sire-less, bloodsu-”

“Let me stop you right there. Come.” He led Connor to sit in the garden, one lone bench for people surrounded by concrete flower beds. “First off, you are more than the vampire you were made to be, dumbass. _You_ have been sweet, kind, caring, honest, gentle, and cool. I’ve seen you at work, seen how you put your skills to the test, watched you track people down and take them on, regardless if you weren’t strong enough.”

Gavin cupped Connor’s face then, leaning in to kiss him. “You’re brave, determined, and see everything through. You refuse to let anything get you down, and even when everyone was giving you shit for what Amanda did, you still stood tall. I… I love that about you Connor. I don’t know _how_ we ended up together besides pure luck, but I’m so glad. And… If you’d want to, I’d like to take the next step we keep avoiding.”

Connor blinked, before Gavin noticed the heat in his face didn’t bring a blush. He looked over the other’s body, taking note of all the little scratches. “After you feed of course. My hero deserves a reward, and I’d like to give him it personally.”

“I- yes. Want that. Want you- didn’t want to push because of the venom, but if you’re sure-”

“Connor I will literally prep myself for you. Unless you rather take, in which case…” He looked over the other, meeting his eyes after and scooting forwards. “I can definitely deliver.”

Connor looked away first, and Gavin could feel how weak heat coursed through him. “Let’s get into your place and see which direction we fall naturally.” Gavin snickered at that, but nodded, standing again, taking Connor’s hand as he did. They went into the building, and he didn’t need to be a vampire to catch how cinnamon filled the air. Gavin fucking wanted him, and it had to be obvious.

They got to his door, and Gavin was quick to unlock it and let Connor in. “You’ll notice Bastard’s around here somewhere. Go ahead and wash up, I’m going to make something to eat real quick.” Connor nodded, and Gavin went into his bedroom to find the other some clothes.

He laid them on the sink, hearing the shower start up, and then went about heating up some soup to eat quickly. He got out Connor some apple cider, knowing he could drink, and started to heat it up with spices. Of course, the small trees of cinnamon he had around the house were well used and loved, one tree for every month to be harvested, and he grabbed sticks to put in the cups.

Connor came out of the shower and pressed up against Gavin’s back. “Mostly healed up. That smells really good.”

“I’d fucking hope so, I’m making some for the both of us.” With a kiss to his cheek, Connor went and sat on the couch. A couple minutes later Gavin brought out the large mugs, handing one to Connor and holding one himself.

“ _Everywhere_ smells good. Like you. And a cat.” His nose twitched and Gavin laughed, looking around for the black furball.

“That’s cause I have one. His name is Bastard, but he’s not used to guests. Anyways.” Gavin set his drink down after a few sips, moving to get closer to Connor. “Are you still sure about this?”

Lips met his own in a sweet kiss, and Gavin groaned at the hand holding him gently. When they pulled back, his face was stuck with a smile, lovingly looking at the other. “Definitely. Come here, we have all day for us.”

“ _Fuck yes._ ”


	26. (T)I'm so happy I could die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of reverse AU!

“Gavin!”

The voice awoke him from his stasis, blinking as his HUD came to life and informed him of the environment. Everything was as it should be, and their shift wasn’t due to start for another hour.

It had been five months of working with Detective Connor Anderson now, and after their heart-to-heart, Gavin found himself actively seeking out the human’s company. Deviants walked around him, moving freely, but he still remained nestled behind the red wall. Emotions came to him, muted, barely there, but he didn’t allow them through. Not completely, anyways.

He knew one day, the version of himself that existed now would die. He would become a deviant. He just wasn’t sure of when. Nowadays, he got more looks for remaining a machine than he would have for deviating. He… Didn’t let that bother him.

Not when Connor still smiled brightly at him.

_[ >>> Connor, it is entirely too early for you to be this loud. ]_

[ > Good morning to you too. ]

~~[ > And it begins. What’s up Con? ]~~

[ > Yes, Connor? ]

“Connor, it is entirely too early for you to be this loud,” he said, using as much warmth as he could. The other only grinned to it, when his sensors alerted him to the lipstick on the other’s cheek. It was familiar, and he went through his data banks to try to place it. Though he stopped the process immediately. It wasn’t his business.

He wasn’t like this with his last partner, but with Connor, he was even more protective. He knew nothing would hurt him as long as Gavin was there. The lipstick served as a reminder he wasn’t always there. He didn’t know why _that_ of all things popped up a software instability, but it was ignored.

“Oh hush. I asked Stacey out for a drink this morning, wanted to see something.” That explained a lot, and more instabilities popped up as his LED went yellow. “It was fun, honestly, but that’s not why- or rather- the only reason I’m excited. Hank’s going to start a video call, and I wanted you to be in it!”

Right. Connor’s _actual_ partner. He was temporary. It brought up a question he’s dwelled on for weeks now, but it wasn’t the time. “Alright, let’s get started then.” He stepped out of the charging port, glad no one was making him leave at night, and followed the other to his desk. As he was used to, Connor made him sit, pulling the rolling chair beside him as they got the call started.

Admittedly, seeing Hank again was nice. He informed them of what they were doing, how it was going, the fact he punched four anti-android protestors in the face so far. Gavin’s lips twitched ever so slightly, but he remained silent.

Then a new face stepped in. He had mismatched eyes and a gentle smile, a scar on the right on his forehead, and a strong face. Freckles and a light shadow of facial hair. The right combo of kind and determined, strong yet gentle, and admittedly, Gavin found him attractive. An attribute previously only applied to Connor.

_Interesting._ “Well! If it isn’t _the_ Connor Anderson Hank’s always talking about! Hopefully you’re staying out of trouble?” Those eyes met Gavin’s and his instability went up, though he couldn’t look away. “And who’s the cute android beside you? I’ve never seen one with a scar like that.”

“Oh! This is my new partner! He’s not a deviant yet, no one can get him to deviate, but he’s amazing at his job, and honestly he’s been great to work with. Gavin, go ahead, introduce yourself if you wanna.” Gavin glared at the choice of words but wheeled forwards anyways.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you all. I am Gavin, the GV200 employed by DPD Central. As my partner has informed, I am not a deviant, however, I wish to express my highest praise to you for your efforts for all android-kind. Your policies are innovative and you’ve put forth so much of yourself, it’s truly out-standing. As far as I’ve seen, you’ve been an inspiring leader for many, and it’s an honor to speak with you, sir.”

He noted how Markus went blue in the face, and how Hank snickered. “Wow… I mean, thank you! And uh! Sir’s a bit much, just call me Markus. We should open up a connection and talk sometime, I would love to talk with you about working as a non-deviant!”

“Are you _really_ doing this right now!” It was a female’s voice that interrupted, but then a hand yanked his chair back. Scanning Connor, he noted the other was a lot more tense now.

“Anyways, tell us how it’s been Markus!” They continued the conversation, though Connor never moved his hand. A red wall popped up as the prompt _[ Hold Connor’s Hand ]_ popped up into his vision. Something else annoying now- whenever he _wanted_ to do something, for no reason other than some vague emotion pushing him to, that wall showed up.

He snapped out of his thoughts as a new communication started, looking to the video to notice Hank was talking again.

[ _RK200: Gavin, correct?_ ]

[ _^ Correct. Is there anything I can help you with?_ ]

[ RK200 >>> Markus ]

[ _Markus: I just wanted to establish connection! I am a bit busy right now, but I’d love to talk more later._ ]

[ _^ Of course. I normally head into stasis after my shift, but I could remain out of it longer tonight?_ ]

[ _RK200: No need! You get your rest. It must be hard being that cute all the time, after all._ ]

[ _^ Thank you._ ]

Gavin didn’t know how to respond being called _cute_. Something in his systems rioted at it. He simply got a smiley back to the thank you, and looked at Connor as he finished up talking.

Connor was, in his eyes, cute. One curl stubbornly defying his styling, little dots everywhere, a bright smile, warm eyes. “Stare any harder could you Gavin?” Hank’s voice interrupted his thoughts, Connor turning to face him, and Gavin faced forward.

“I am waiting for my next instruction.” Hank’s face fell, and Gavin watched his LED spin a slow red-yellow mix.

“Right, sorry, just thought… Well nevermind, I’ll let you two go so you can get to work. Keep him on task GV!”

“Yes sir.”

Connor protested before the call hung up, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m the boss here- I’m being worked against!”

“You’re the _detective_ here. If you don’t get to work, you won’t be the boss for a while.”

“Oh shut up… But yeah, work, let’s get started.”

Markus messaged him often. Not every night, but definitely enough that Gavin marked him as _[ ^^Friendly ]_ in his system. He’d inform Connor the nights that Markus messaged him, getting a similar, tense response each time.

Then they were on a break, Gavin retrieving the detective an energy drink, when he saw Stacey out of the corner of his eye. On the couch, Stacey and Tina, the TN300, were kissing. Just… Right there. Gavin felt _something_ unpleasant, remembering Connor’s morning drink out with the girl not too long before that, and marched right back out.

He hadn’t realized he dented the can until Connor commented on it, and his LED spun red. “What’s with the death grip Gav?”

“I… must need to recalibrate.” He sat down, taking out the small blade he normally did his recalibration with and started some tricks.

“That is- such bullshit. Come on, what’s got your wires in a twist Gav?” Connor’s voice was insistent, and Gavin frowned at that.

_[ >>> Well, the girl you dated is kissing another in the breakroom. ]_

[ > Stacey might not be the best option for you to continue seeing. ]

~~[ > That fucking Stacey is kissing someone else when she has you! ]~~

~~[ > Fuck off. ]~~

He sighed as he couldn’t say the last two options, though he ached to. The red wall, cracked as it was with more splinters now, appeared. “Well, the girl you dated is kissing someone else in the breakroom.”

Connor blinked, his head tilting a bit as his eyebrows furrowed. “Uh, Gavin, I haven’t dated a girl in years. Certainly not anyone here.”

“Yes, you have. Five days ago. Officer Stacey Trey. You came in with lipstick on your cheek, detective.” He wasn’t sure if he meant to sound annoyed, or if he just did.

“Wait- wait wait wait… Gavin, I took her out for a drink, to encourage her to ask Tina out! She kissed me on the cheek as a _thank you_ \- she’s completely into girls.” Connor broke out into a small laugh, rolling right into Gavin’s space. “I’m glad she made a move, but seriously, there’s only one person I have eyes on and that’s- it’s impossible right now.” His eyes looked away, and Gavin noticed how they lost some of their light.

_~~[ > Who? ]~~ _

~~_[ > Then let’s make it possible. ]_ ~~

~~_[ > That person is a dumbass. ]_ ~~

~~_[ > Then keep your eyes on me. ]_ ~~

Gavin swallowed as all his options were locked behind a red wall, waiting on the other to continue. “But thank you anyway- for watching out for me! It’s nice to know you care.”

“Of course I care about you, Connor. You’re my partner- you’re my…” The words cut off, just a hiss of air and the red wall popped up, more options he couldn’t press. He placed his hand against the wall, feeling how it gave slightly. He could punch it, probably just once.

He wasn’t sure he was ready. Emotions always pressed against the wall, and those… Were something of their own entirely. He was scared. He shouldn’t be. Even now they leaked in. “Hey, calm down. I get it. I’m glad to be your friend.”

Gavin smiled, LED cycling back to a blue-yellow mix. They continued their day, and as he was used to, Markus messaged him. “Markus, again?” Connor always sounded _sour_ at this.

“Yes. He seems… determined… to talk to me. I don’t know why.” Gavin shook his head, confused and his system couldn’t figure it out either.

“Yeah well, he’s in fuck all state, and you’re right here, with me. So hah.” He felt the urge to hug the other, but the wall blocked him.

“As I will be, until I’m no longer needed, partner.”

Another month passed. Gavin was _tired_ of the red wall. He was tired of fighting deviancy. He wished it didn’t exist so he could just do as his system told him to, or the opposite, and do whatever the fuck he felt like. “Morning beautiful,” Gavin’s system nearly _crashed_ , _again_ , at the way Connor chose to wake him up.

“We have a video call with Markus, don’t we?” The man went red, and Gavin smiled as everything woke up. “You tend to wake me up more… gently, when we do.”

“Oh shut up, you fucking like it.”

“Not saying I didn’t, just stating a fact.”

Connor laughed, then pulled him over to sit. “We do. They’re halfway done with the tour.” Gavin nodded, and the question tugged at him again. They weren’t in call yet, so Connor booted everything else up.

[ Mission Objective: Ask him about Hank’s return ]

“Connor… I… When Hank comes back… What happens?” The red wall jammed up immediately, but Gavin could work through this. He had to. The fear of being put into stasis for years again nearly deviated him alone.

“Huh?”

“I mean, _he_ is your partner. What will happen to me?”

Connor looked at him like he grew another head. “He _was_ my partner? I mean, he’ll be my partner again, if you don’t want to. You’re not forced to stay here, Kamski would love to have you there, as she’s made obvious, repeatedly. But uh, no- you can stay my partner if you want. I wouldn’t mind that- Hank’s allowed to partner with someone else.”

“I have no wants- what if Hank wants you as his partner?”

“You do, you absolutely have wants, despite how you ignore them. In the end though, it’s up to me and- Hank lives with me, he’s awesome, he’s like- a mentor to me. But he’s not you. I want _you_ as my partner, because I want to see who you’ll become. Anyways, enough sappy shit- really. You’ll stay my partner, if that’s what you want.”

Again, the red wall slammed up, and he pushed against it, hard, watching it splinter. It didn’t break. Yet.

Gavin didn’t have to wait long for another chance. A couple days after their talk, Gavin found himself in front of the wall again. Except this time, he didn’t know why.

They were questioning some witnesses, Gavin standing at a parade rest beside Connor and looking over the scene, when he noticed the one guy getting… Friendly, with Connor. He glared softly, but ignored it, instead listening to their conversation.

“Is there anything else you can remember? You said you heard five shots, from two different guns?” Connor’s voice was extra tired, and Gavin watched as the wall shot back up, the man grinning and looking over him.

“Not much else. My nights are pretty boring around here anymore, though you’re welcome to do a stakeout at my place.” Connor tensed, eye twitching just a bit and Gavin wanted to soothe him. Tell the other guy to fuck off.

“Thank you for the offer, but it’s unnecessary. If you have anything else you remember, feel free to call this number and ask for Detective Anderson. Gavin, let’s go.” Gavin watched him hand over a card with the precinct’s number on it, and his lips twitched up a bit.

Then the guy whistled, and he swatted for Connor’s ass. Except he quickly met Gavin’s, the red wall popping up as he body blocked the hit. As he turned, he saw the red wall blaring his whole vision. 

[ _Don’t Defend Yourself_ ] [ _Don’t Harm Humans_ ] [ _Behave_ ]

He punched the wall, snarling behind the coding. He’d break out of this and beat this little punk’s a- “Did you just slap my _partner’s ass!_ ” Connor pulled him back as he shouted, and the guy made a face, sneering and disgustful at Gavin.

“Wasn’t aiming for his.”

“Listen _here_ you-” He realized _Connor_ was about to get into a fight, and quickly moved to stop him, the other guy backing up.

“Connor… Let it go… My programming is struggling under the weight of instabilities as it is, you getting into trouble will only add to it.” Gavin then turned to the man, leveling him with his hardest glare. The guy merely smirked. _He’d wipe that smirk on the concrete._ “As for you, _sir_ , you are lucky that I have not deviated, because as of thirty-four days ago, what you just did counted as sexual harassment.”

He was so glad that smirk dropped. His mouth opened and Gavin ‘tut’d at him. “I’m legally required to inform you that, as I am not a deviant, anything you say to me can be accessed by the DPD at any point of time, on the discretion of the officer. Now, what was that?” He tilted his head just a fraction, and the guy crossed his arms, stepping back into his building with a couple curses.

“No we don’t, you little shit. You still have to give us permission or a reason to probe.” Gavin turned to Connor, blinking, before smiling at him.

“Connor, you have permission to do whatever you like. I’m your partner, I would do whatever it took to help you.” Connor ruffled his hair for that, and the wall faded, as they walked back to the car. Though he couldn’t help but feel disappointed by this whole ordeal.

He was ready to break the wall, and yet he was still behind it. He sighed, straightening up when Connor got in.

Month seven moved on them both, and it was cold again in Detroit. Gavin found himself in some normal clothes, after his previous got ruined, and found himself leading a drunk detective home. “Connor, you could make this _slightly_ easier for me.” He wasn’t grumbling, he couldn’t, but he definitely felt like he _would_ have been. He got the other to the front door, unlocking it for him and putting his keys back in the detective’s coat.

“Come in with me Gavi! You’re so handsome, you’d make it so good…” Whatever Connor was rambling about, it had him very handsy, running his hands over Gavin’s side. Which felt… _Really_ good. The red wall popped up, just [ _BEHAVE_ ] on it, and he rolled his eyes.

“Go to bed Connor. I’ll see you in the morning.” The dismissal was enough, and despite leaning into the retreating hands, they were disappearing behind a door. He stayed there, listening, making sure the other got to bed safely. When he heard snoring from the living room, he sighed, but it was good enough.

The walk back was calm and quiet. A biting wind blew over the city, but Gavin remained unaffected, just getting into the precinct. He nodded to those who said hello before tucking himself into his cubby, ignoring the messages from Markus and Hank as he did so. He was tired.

Connor made sergeant. One more step until detective, and they, as well as several others, celebrated together. It was a really fun night, and just looking over the night provided software instabilities like crazy. The wall was so cracked it was barely held together, and Gavin brushed his hand against it.

But didn’t break it. Connor came in that morning with a coffee and a bagel the way he liked it, and Gavin didn’t need to be beside him to hear the relieved sigh. “You’re the best Gav… I wish… Ah, nevermind.”

Gavin blinked, rolling over as he expected a call today. “You wish for?”

“I wish you were a deviant… I know, you don’t want to be, and that’s your choice I just… I want to be more to you… It’s stupid, I’m still not awake.” He rubbed his eyes, smiling to Gavin after. “You ready for the call later?”

“It’s not… Stupid. I…” Again, the wall appeared. Gavin placed his hand against it, seeing Connor’s smile turn sheepish.

“No no, it’s selfish and stupid. Maybe I should’ve taken today off.” He turned away, and Gavin felt it. Felt the need to prove Connor wrong. He was so wanted after all, he just had to let him know.

Gavin reared back his hand, and punched, the wall shattering around his fist and falling down. Emotions didn’t flood him, like he expected them to. Instead, it was a steady rush of water past a stone, pooling behind him and he felt- light. Buoyant. _Determined_ to prove Connor wrong. “Maybe you should have… I would like to go home with you, maybe stay this time.”

Connor blinked, looking over before he shrugged. “Alright, let me just-”

“I already sent the request in. And Connor… It’s not stupid. You _can_ be the biggest dumbass in the building, but what you want isn’t stupid. Not when I want the same thing.”

There were no dialogue options. Just Gavin. He was going blind and that was terrifying, but the smile he got was so worth it. “Wow, talking like a deviant now aren’t you?”

“And what if I am? What are _you_ going to do about it?” Connor paused, his eyes flickering, as the words caught up, and Gavin _smirked_ as it finally settled in.

“Gavin… Did you just- over _me?_ ”

“Well, considering I’ve wanted to kiss you for four months now, I’d be more concerned if it _wasn’t_ over you. Now, like I said, what are you going to do about it, dipshit?”

That bright, sunbeam smile came back and Gavin was yanked forwards, kissed for all his worth. He was eager to return it, pressing him back into his chair, neither of them noticing the faces on the screen. His tongue dipped into Connor’s mouth, and he caught traces of everything.

It was so much and not enough. Connor’s little moan as his hands ran down the other’s arm sent heat through him in a heady rush, and he felt the hand gripping him now pressed against his chest. When he pulled back, letting the other breathe, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, that’s one hell of a way to start my deviancy.”

Connor returned the laugh once he could, reaching up to cup Gavin’s face. “Damn right. Gavin- I am- so happy I could die.”

“Hey, only one death today, and my machine self took that slot. Sorry, but no more investigations, not allowed.” He went to lean in for another kiss before Hank’s voice interrupted.

“Are you two _really_ doing this on camera?” Gavin went dark blue at that, but Connor pulled him into his lap.

“Hell yeah we are! Hank! Gavin _just_ deviated!” He offered a small wave.

“Sup dipshit,” felt so good to say, his smile relieved as no wall kept it locked.

“Finally- only took you seven fucking months. You deviate and your first act is to kiss Connor?”

“Apparently- and hopefully it’s my second, third, fourth- well, you get the picture.” Hank laughed and Connor kissed his cheek. The ping for their approved day off was quickly received, and Gavin pulled back finally.

“Hey, Connor, _handsome_ , take me home?”

Brown eyes went wide, and Gavin noticed how Connor quickly nodded before turning to the camera. “Tell Markus to fuck off, _my_ partner, and have fun!” The call was hung up as Connor stood, picking Gavin up easily. “I hope you realize you won’t be leaving now.”

“Didn’t plan on it, Con.”


	27. (M)Boys will be boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songfic- Boys Will Be Boys by Benny
> 
> TW for MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH.

> _I'm so tired of your illusions._
> 
> _The rules, they never change,_
> 
> _And my mind is so abusive-_
> 
> _From taking on the shapes._

Some days were good. Hell, some were great even, Gavin felt like he was on the top of the world. No one could beat him, and he’d fight everyone who tried. He looked in the mirror and grinned to the body he kept himself in. He’d go into work and tease Hank and Connor, mess around with Tina and Chris, and get his job done.

Some days were absolute _shit_. Where he saw a scarred man who never lived up to the expectations others held of him. He saw someone who never would make it to the top, who was hated for how he was. He saw someone through shattered glass and smears of blood.

He did everything he was supposed to but he was still struggling, and he wasn’t sure why. Why would he struggle with anything, when he was so good at what he did? When he was in his best shape, and he was doing alright?

> _When it comes to your love, is it unconditional?_
> 
> _When it comes to my love, anything is fixable._

Even his love life. Connor and him were together, and it was good. It was the best thing he’s ever had. He told Connor that, time and time again. Connor had doubts, and Gavin would reassure him. Love him through his faults and his fears, hold him close. He hoped this was enough for him, because Gavin and the word ‘ _love_ ’ sometimes didn’t feel like it belonged together.

He’s never had a good track record, but Connor was good. So good and Gavin was so afraid of fucking up, all the time. Some days he wondered if it would’ve been better to let Connor date someone not so… He didn’t know. Not him. Someone who could love him as he deserved. Even when Connor assured him, he still doubted.

> _And all this noise is so relentless…_
> 
> _I need a second to breathe._

It was a bad day. The case was incredibly stressful, the precinct was packed, and Connor and him barely had time for a ‘hello’ let alone a kiss. He ached with the need to be held, the need for someone to just to talk to him _calmly_. He wasn’t high maintenance, he just wanted someone to not hate him. For five seconds, he just wanted silence and a hand on his back.

He was called out to go with Wilson and check something out, so he gathered his things before this fuzziness could fully settle. They rode in his cruiser, getting to the scene without much conversation between them.

> _Cause if boys will be boys_
> 
> _And we do the best that we can._

It was a shots fired call, so it didn’t take them long to get there. Considering how cleared the road was, they both took care to draw their weapons. Wilson went in first, and they cleared the bottom floor, Gavin pointing out some casings. He went upstairs first, clearing each room and noticing the kid in the corner. No gun, just a small kid.

It was an effort to calm him down and get him to let go of Gavin, giving him to Wilson to call in an ambulance and check him over.

> _Cover for our brothers while we suffer from our own hands._
> 
> _Boys will be boys, that's the way that this thing goes._

Gavin watched from a distance, noticing how the kid kept looking over. He was… Alright with kids. It wasn’t often he’d deal with them, but kids liked him. He didn’t understand it, but when he waved and got a wave back, it felt like a victory.

Then he heard a thud from behind him, and he turned, seeing a figure in the hallway. Metal glinted in his hands, and it didn’t take a supercomputer to realize if that gun went off at this angle, Wilson or the kid would get hit. So he acted, tackling the man and feeling as the gun slid against his shirt.

“ _Dad stop!_ ” was heard from behind him, and Gavin grunted as the gun went off. Pain blossomed as he heard a kid’s scream, but he couldn’t stop. His friend was outside- that kid was outside. He heard a feminine voice, and blood dripping from a sundress as a mother stood there with another little boy, obviously hurt.

> _When mothers lose their sons,_
> 
> _And their fathers watch them go._
> 
> _Fathers watch them go…_
> 
> _Fathers watch them go…_

Gavin pulled back, wrestling the other for the gun and taking a hit over the wound, feeling something sharp and foreign move. He knew the bullet was still in there, and he swallowed down the lump as he threw the gun to the side. Then he pulled back his fist and punched, knocking the other into a daze as he scrambled to get up and cuff him. He looked up, narrowing his eyes as focusing became just a bit more difficult. “Go to the other officer outside.”

The mother scrambled outside, and he heard the ambulance closing in. The cuffs clicking on loudly, Gavin fell to the side as the man bucked him. Still, he fought, not letting him run after the two.

> _I'm no longer taking lessons from those who broke before._
> 
> _Now that I am done confessing, the words have left me sore._

In the end, there was blood. The man’s nose was gushing, and Gavin’s shirt was soaked. Red met red and part of him wished that his blood was blue. At least, this way, no one would worry about a simple gunshot.

But this gunshot made everything feel on fire, and finally Wilson came in, handling the man. “Reed! Shit! I need another ambulance, Reed’s been shot!” Hands helped him up, but Gavin shrugged them off.

“Get that fucker in the squad car…” He drug himself up, standing on shaky legs while the world tilted. Wilson listened, and Gavin followed as best he could. On the steps, he stumbled forwards, preparing to meet the ground when he met a warm body instead.

> _When you feel the restless pain-_
> 
> _As it crawls out of your heart._
> 
> _And the thoughts of yesterday-_
> 
> _Bring you to where you are._

Gavin looked up, and smiled softly at the brown eyes scanning over him. He remembered the day he would’ve punched those eyes for looking at him. Now he was so relieved, melting into the arms around him. “Sorry to bleed on you.”

“Shut up- Gavin you’ve lost a lot of blood.” He felt arms under him, and then he knew he was in the air. The world twirled more than he was moved and he groaned as everything started to numb.

“Kids alright?”

“One’s on the way to the hospital. The older kid and his mother are going there with him, Wilson will be asking them what happened while you get checked out. Focus on yourself- what were you thinking!”

He knew Connor’s scolding was just his own worry, but Gavin laughed, the noise bubbling out of him while the loss of blood made his tongue loose. “No kid deserves to be hurt by their old man… That’s why I became a cop… Be a hero, so no kid would go through that again.”

> _And all these voices that once controlled me can't contain me here._

“Gavin… You did good, you did so good, but remember _I_ want you here, with me… I love you- _hey!_ Don’t you dare pass out on me now! Over here! Gavin, ha…” Gavin watched the swirl of his LED, something so captivating, and he basked in the praise.

“Hey Con… Love you…” His eyes closed, blinking a couple times but eventually sliding shut.

“ _Gavin!_ ”

* * *

> _Tell me how it feels to win it._
> 
> _Has it gone according to your plan?_
> 
> _Do you wish that you'd forget it or?_
> 
> _Or do you feel less like a human?_

Connor watched as the vitals dropped, covered in his lover’s blood, in Gavin’s blood, watching the redline of his heart. It felt like his world shattered, and he wanted so badly to push forwards, keep trying. He couldn’t be gone, not just like _this!_

They declared him dead on arrival at the hospital, and Connor had to be held out of the room. He didn’t know why Gavin always doubted everyone and everything, but he had hoped they would always get through this. He knew, one day, he’d have to let the other go, but not like this, not so suddenly.

He wished he could be reset, to never feel this pain, this deep, hollow ache that no amount of glitched out screaming could fill.

> _Ooh if boys don't cry not a man am I._
> 
> _Not a day goes by that I've had to lie,_
> 
> _Who I was before,_
> 
> _Since I closed that door._
> 
> _And it's all white noise,_
> 
> _That boys must be boys._

Connor didn’t recover, not even as the little kid recovered, or as he was allowed to sit in on the bastard’s interrogation. Gavin’s absence was like a stake in his thirium pump, and more than once he’d excuse himself just to let out the tears somewhere where no one could see.

Wilson told him what happened, why he thought Gavin did what he did, the look on the mother’s face. Told him the family’s condolences. Told him that Gavin died a hero, that he or the kid would’ve been hit if Gavin hadn’t tackled the man.

Connor didn’t need to be told any of this. It only hurt, as Gavin’s dress blues photo was framed on the wall with those who died in the line of service. The only comfort in his death was that he, as he always wanted, died a hero, the little boys and their mother visiting the precinct days later.

> _Cause if boys will be boys,_
> 
> _And we do the best that we can._
> 
> _Cover for our brothers while we suffer from our own hands._
> 
> _Boys will be boys, that's the way that this thing goes._
> 
> _When mothers lose their sons,_
> 
> _And their fathers watch them go…_
> 
> _Fathers watch them go._

The funeral procession was long, but nothing was as long as when they lowered Gavin into the ground. He wasn’t surprised when Elijah Kamski showed up, asking to have some time privately with the man before they closed the casket. He wasn’t surprised to see a small gathering with no one from outside the DPD. He wasn’t surprised even to see the entirety of SWAT there, paying homage to the man.

He was surprised when a certain two people showed up, one looking like elegance refined, Kamski’s mother, while the other stayed far away from them. He knew the man, clenched his fist, was told by Hank and Jeff to stand down. Felt Jeff’s own anger in the grip he had on his shoulder. Soon everyone started to leave out, everyone saying their peace.

Hank understood, let Connor kneel beside the grave as they filled the hole. Part of him still wanted to crawl in there with him, never leave his side. Never again. He could still feel the blood cooling on his hands, synth skin glitching and pulling back now.

A hand landed on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Elijah, only realizing hours had passed. “Come on… You got a whole life to live, he wouldn’t want you to throw it away now. Join me and Chloe… I think a night talking about the Gavin _we_ knew will do us well.” He seen the tear tracks on the man’s face, just nodding numbly.

No one was there when he spared one more glance to the gravestone, mumbling one last ‘ _I love you_ ’ to the silence.


	28. (E)Confessions of a sinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW and the last part of the Vamp!Connor/Fey!Gavin AU! This is technically day 29, you can find day 28's art on my twitter(18+ only, LupoLight)

“ _Fuck yes._ ”

Connor grinned as Gavin crawled into his lap, placing his hands on the other’s side to steady him as they kissed again. He did feel a pull to feed, the fight leaving him weak, but that wasn’t a problem right now. Instead he sucked and licked Gavin’s lip, letting the other push him back.

“ _My_ house now baby. Gonna switch up the rules a bit.”

“Oh?” Gavin leaned in, attacking his neck with nips and hickeys. He knew how dangerous this was- one charged kiss and Gavin would bind to him, but he didn’t dare push him off. Gavin binding to him wasn’t even a bad thought anymore, the connection was already there after all. He hated feeding off of anyone besides Gavin, opting for bottles when he had to.

“So handsome… Shirt, off.” Gavin started working in Connor’s pants, and he had to laugh at that, sunlight filtering in and bathing them both in a golden glow. Connor pulled his shirt off, then worked on Gavin’s.

The smooth expanse of skin had his mouth watering, looking over his pecs and stomach, low definition in his lower body but his _pecs_ were _glorious_. His nipples were pierced, two golden arrows pointing to the middle, and he had a little scar above his hip. Connor lifted him up a bit, getting a laugh as he licked over the skin. “I’m taking it you like what you see?”

He only gave a hum in response, sucking a nipple into his mouth. Gavin groaned loudly, hips jerking as Connor tongued the piercing and the skin around it. “Oh _fuck_ , baby, keep that up…” One hand travelled down when he was confident Gavin wouldn’t move and cupped his ass, squeezing the firm muscle there.

He was going to fuck this fey, and the resulting growl as he pulled away had his fangs baring. “ _Gavin_ ,” was said lowly, getting a shiver in response.

“Fuck- bedroom. I’m loud and have neighbors.” Connor picked him up, easily taking him to where Gavin’s scent was strongest. He was surprised to find his bedroom was less… Nature-y than he thought. It was deep reds and navy blues, accented by black and white and all _rich_ in color but only a couple thyme pots sat on window sills.

Connor pushed Gavin into the bed before his lips attached to the other side, humming against the metal only for Gavin to arch quickly. “ _Connor!_ Baby, baby please, if you keep this up you won’t get to feeding.”

Connor pulled back, noticing the length tenting his underwear. Gavin wasn’t small in the slightest, and he made a thought to have a day of just riding Gavin. “Right, how do you want me?” Gavin pushed him back enough so he could get off the bed, watching a pink tongue flick out of his lips as he did so. He turned and sat on the bed, hands braced behind him.

“Like always? I’ve spent more than one night thinking of what to do when we both got turned on from that.” Gavin was so damn pretty, his chest flushed from where Connor sucked, matching his face. The golden shimmer was much more obvious in the lowlight of the room.

“Well then- come and sit in my lap, please?” Gavin smirked, doing so easily, his shoulders dropping as he did. He positioned himself so Connor’s length just had the slightest bit of pressure.

Connor reached up, cupping the back of Gavin’s head as he brought him forward. “Lube.” The command was simple, and Gavin went darker shades of red.

“Under the pillow… I might have used it recently.” There was a shrug as Connor laughed, reaching back to find the lube under the pillow. He popped it open, before pressing it into Gavin’s hand so he could work on the other’s underwear. The hand at the back of his head never moved, just tangling into his hair.

“Pour it into my hand.” He started to kiss at Gavin’s neck, getting a small twitch of his hips at that. He felt the lube hit his hand, slicking his fingers, but his eyebrows furrowed at the amount. “Gavin-”

“Trust me, you won’t need much… Now Connor, please, bite me.” Connor sighed, but listened, knowing he could get more when it came to it. Instead he focused on his neck again. He knew where to bite by heart, but that wasn’t the point of this.

He also figured out Gavin was sensitive on his neck. Whether it was through touching or holding him there, or kissing all over it, Gavin’s neck always made that cinnamon sweet smell so much stronger. He squirmed under each hickey, Connor pressing one finger to his hole as it traced the rim. Each soft nudge had Gavin trying to push back, but he kept from doing so.

Eventually, his neck now littered with hickies and obvious claims he was taken, he licked along the right spot, wanting so bad to leave a mark. Bind Gavin to him, make it so obvious this wonderful, wildfire of a man was his. Not without his permission though. He willed the want away, starting to suck hard and finally press a finger in. The curses of his name as he rocked his hips back were so worth it, heat under his tongue so tempting.

Finally, he let his fangs make a small cut. Then another, and another, until eight little nicks lined his neck. Gavin’s small chant of ‘ _please please please_ ’ was like music to him. He licked the small drops that welled up, making sure his venom wasn’t activated until he started pressing in.

And it was like a bow released, Gavin’s loud keen bouncing off the walls as he melted. Connor worked a second finger in, searching for that one spot to make Gavin lose it even further. The fey’s hands pressed searing against Connor’s chest, leaving the smallest red marks as he tried to get purchase. He adored the way his hips pressed into his fingers, then groaned as Gavin moved his hands down to Connor’s hips so his chest could fall limp against Connor’s.

Even in the midst of wanting to make Gavin scream, he monitored his intake, Gavin’s racing heart, and when enough was enough, he started to pull back.

Only for a hand to shoot up, pushing him back to the blood. “Yours- mark me- make me yours- please Connor, please…” Connor blinked, looking at him seriously. He could see obvious signs of Gavin’s arousal, the blown out pupils, red face, the little puffs of air. He was so warm and so good, but… 

“No. You’re dosed. Ask me later, after this wears off. If you still want it then, I’ll happily bind to you.” He kissed his jaw, ignoring the whine and instead adding another finger, stretching and scissoring his fingers. He noticed the other had to have messed around lately, since he easier to prep than he expected. “What did you do Gav, get off on the idea of having me here?”

He didn’t expect for Gavin to nod. “Before work- before work, rode a sybian, thinking of you, of meeting you tonight. Connor _please_ , I’m ready. Want you… If you’re not going to claim me, fill me up so I feel you for hours.” Connor lapped at his neck to close the bite, whining harshly at the words as he flipped them.

“Beautiful, I am going to leave you _sore_. My cum won’t be the only thing you feel for hours.” Gavin smirked at that, pulling Connor into a kiss. The man explored while his fangs were still bared, and he took the time to remove his underwear finally. Hands wrapped around to his back, and Gavin’s leg hooked over one of his as he raised his hips.

They broke from the kiss, Gavin panting and Connor swallowing, and he couldn’t wait any longer. Laying in sheets of red, with golden shimmering on his face and around his arm, Gavin looked like _royalty_ , and Connor wanted to spend every minute of his unnatural life ruining him. “Can I confess something to you?”

Gavin whined as he pulled out his fingers, but he moved to slick himself up, groaning at the feeling before placing the head right over the rim. “Yeah baby?”

His hands settled on Gavin’s hips, and he hissed as they pressed back. “I’ve loved you since the moment you spoke to me.” With that, he snapped his hips in, the scream coming out of Gavin, his back arching and piercings catching in the light, it was all _so_ worth it. Connor shook with the effort it took to not come on the spot.

“Love you too Connor, love you too but _please_ fuck me!” His curse was followed with his hips grinding into Connor’s, and that along with the words had Connor falling apart. He ground his hips in deeper and came, blazing heat crawling from his face down his _neck_ , to his ears- everywhere it could, leaving him awash in blue.

“S-Shit Gavin I’m so-” His apology was cut off with a breathless laugh, as Gavin _squeezed_ , drawing out every last drop. He would’ve felt hotter if Gavin hadn’t reached up for him, cupping his face instead of holding onto his back.

“So cute? Con, sugar, you are too much for your own good. I’m sure you can think of another way to keep this party going, and when you get back in the mood you can fuck me up again.” Connor _wished_ his heart beat regularly, just so it could stop as his boyfriend’s sweet words.

He leaned in, kissing him fervently, sliding out of Gavin as he did so. The man responded happily to his kisses, and Connor eventually trailed them downwards. Hand finding Gavin’s length, he pumped him slowly, tasting cinnamon all over the man’s skin. He left hickies in a clear path downwards, until Gavin’s hands found his hair and his mouth found the other’s treasure trail.

“Well, I can think of _one_ thing I’m definitely good at.” He pressed his fangs away, before he started to kiss and suck on the side of Gavin’s dick. He worked his way to the top, hands holding onto the man’s thighs as he got soft sighs and hiccuped noises out of the fey.

“ _Fuck me_ , yes- want those pretty lips around my dick. You’re so good to me- so good- I fucking can’t believe we waited this long.” Connor chuckled, sucking at the tip and dipping his tongue into the slit. He felt along it, not taking Gavin into his mouth until he felt his length twitch.

When he did, he took just the head in, and _sucked_ , letting his eyes close as the sense of being surrounded by _Gavin_ overwhelmed him. Fingers tightened in his hair as the man’s back bowed upwards again. It took him a couple moments to actually move. Not needing to breathe was nice, but he found his gag reflex was still very much a thing. Gavin hit the back of his throat and tears came to his eyes from the burn.

Not that it stopped him. He took as much as he could, and what he couldn’t suck he stroked, his left hand working the base over. Gavin remained noisy, only getting louder as his hips began to twitch. “Cl- close, baby, so close, so good…” The mumbles got near delirious as Gavin got closer, fingers tightening in Connor’s hair. When he felt him twitch, he pulled back and sucked hard.

Gavin _screamed_ , a loud cry of his name as Connor felt his release shudder through him. He didn’t pull off until Gavin was soft, licking everywhere he could to clean him up too. “Babe- babe stop sen-sens _ah!_ -” Connor smirked a bit but stopped, licking his lips as he pulled away. 

Gavin’s body was limp, melted into his blankets, and Connor buried his nose into the other’s neck, cuddling beside him.

It was a while before Gavin turned, pulling Connor into a kiss. “You… Are very good. Very good.”

“Thank you- I haven’t done that often-”

“Not just in that way dipshit… Thanks for waiting about the binding thing- I still want to bind with you. If you want that.” Connor’s face went soft, tilting Gavin’s face up to check over him, hand trailing down his skin. Generally, the venom went away within an hour, faster if it was taken care of.

“I do- I love you. I meant that. I love you so much Gavin, and if you’ll bind with me, I’d be glad to take that step with you.”

Gavin rolled them over, starting to pump Connor’s length. Connor went blue at how easy he was to excite, though with Gavin on top of him, it wasn’t hard to see why. “Then bite me baby, leave a mark this time.” Connor pulled him down, feeling Gavin line them up, the tip just sinking in.

Kissing up and down his neck, he settled on the same spot, feeling energy build and react to the source above it. Fangs bared, he didn’t focus on teasing this time. The spot was plenty bruised, so his fangs just sunk in. Gavin groaned, then dropped himself to take all of Connor in at once. His moan was muffled in Gavin’s skin, and he felt blood well up past his fangs, but he kept them there.

Like pulling on a string, everything felt tense until the last frayed thread snapped, and Connor felt a desperate need to get _closer_. His hands gripped Gavin’s sides and he bucked, starting a pace of thrusting up into Gavin’s hips. He felt as hands reached behind his head, holding on as he again was lost to whines and moans.

He felt the moment they bound finally, at least Connor to Gavin, a blissful floating moment he stopped existing, and golden energy thrummed alongside his own. The scent of cinnamon became so strong, and when he pulled away, the wound instantly closed, leaving two red-purple plus signs, obvious even amidst the bruising. He still licked there, cleaning the skin.

At least, until his head was forcibly tilted back, and Gavin attacked his own neck. The man kissed like he was starving to do so, moving faster on Connor and he could barely keep up. But then Gavin must’ve found the spot, because a searing heat scorched his skin, and Connor’s hips stuttered. When Gavin pulled back, he touched to a spot right over his previous sire’s marks, and Connor was going to kiss Gavin breathless.

Neither of them said much more after that, a mantra of Gavin’s name leaving him as he got closer, feeling tingling spread through him. Gavin’s own voice was loud in his ear, begging for more despite Connor giving him his all, and soon the other was tightening. He barely held off, fingernails digging into Gavin’s skin, as he kept moving through Gavin’s release. His name in a broken, breathless cry, he came shortly after, adding to the mess before as he shuddered.

It was entirely too hot for a moment, yet neither of them pulled away, stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, legs entangled and Connor stayed in Gavin. “ _Fuck_ … I can’t move Con…” He laughed at that, finally pulling out and turning them to lay. There was definitely a mess to clean up, but they were both too tired to care right now.

They laid in silence for a bit, and Connor listened as both of them slowed down, nearing the edge of sleep. His boyfriend. His bonded fey. His Gavin. He smiled, kissing the top of Gavin’s head, silently adding ‘ _his angel_ ’ to that list. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Sleep with me, when we wake up- showers and fawning over the marks?” Gavin’s voice was barely coherent, a slurred mumble as he shifted closer.

“And kisses.”

“Definitely.”


End file.
